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God, family, best friends.

That’s the hierarchical social and spiritual order for so many women I know.

While I’m super down with G-O-D and ride or die for my biological sisters, there is a different bond that is forged when you decide to yoke your life with someone versus being born into a connection.

That’s where best friends come in.

When you meet a new woman, energy is already at work finding up where you link and connect, and where you don’t. And once all those friendship vibes start dabbing together and lining up in formation,  suddenly strangers become family. #sheslay #weslay.

And that’s the magic.

It’s not blood. It’s not sexual. It’s pure, unfiltered connection. Which makes it different from your man or your fam.

And what’s cool about your bestie is that you basically create an entirely new language and mode of being that only you guys understand.

From pet names, to inside jokes, to glances that say more than words, the ecosystem of bestfriendland is a terrain that only your brains know how to navigate.

Along with the happy giddy stuff that comes with best-friendness, there is a lot of mess. Friendships are tested through life changes. And while loving in general is a daily choice, loving your best friend is different because unlike husbands, mom and dad, sisters, children etc, if you decide to end the relationship there’s no more connection (at least not on the surface level).

So that means all of your bratty tantrums and I slept with my ex, again phases and I will never amount to anything breakdowns, and mid-life crises and babies and breakups are tolerated because someone wants to tolerate you.

Because they think your warmth and cold and fire and PMS and humor is worth it.

Interviewing five pairs of best friends, it was amazing to watch this “she’s worth it” energy unfold between women. And although there are shared histories between the two women that keep them tight, (drunk nights, underwear shopping, stupid relationships, etc) the real glue is knowing they chose you, and you chose them and will continue to choose them even when you don’t want to.

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What My Best Friends Taught Me About Unconditional Love was originally published on hellobeautiful.com

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