Sex can sometimes seem like a competition or a sport, where couples approach the bed like a boxing ring. As soon as they jump into the sheets they are switching positions frequently, grinding aggressively and maybe even using a few holds here and there to affix a little pain that causes pleasure. With the BDSM/fetish genre of sexuality becoming mainstream due to the popularity of the erotic novel “Fifty Shades of Grey,” kinkier sex has been in trend, leading many to experiment with sex that is a lot rougher than the average they may be used to.  The body is pretty resilient when it comes to absorbing falls, bumps or tackles, but when it comes to bumping pelvises, is rough sex all that healthy?

This is a question that many who are novices in the area of sexual experimentation ask when looking to improve their sex lives, and of course, the answer isn’t straight forward.  Rough sex is really subjective, so the level of roughness or pressure will be different for every person.  Everyone has a different threshold of pain, so there is no real way to gauge what “too rough” sex would be.  Also, the vagina is very resilient and flexible, consisting of muscles that can expand and stretch to fit something the size of a baby’s head. When it comes to the question of is this type of sex healthy or not there are some instances where the genitals may be in danger.

The most common reason why sex can sometimes be painful for women is because of a lack of natural lubrication in the vagina before penetration.  Some women are ready and aroused in 10 seconds while others need a little more time to become relaxed and open to the feel the flow of sexual energy.  In this case, having rough sex before a vagina is ready will cause pain and sometimes even tearing. This can be prevented by the use of foreplay.  Erotic massage, speaking intimately, using sex toys or taking a bath together are great forms of foreplay that will help the vagina lubricate and make the sexual experience more enjoyable.

When it comes to rough sex affecting men, there have been rare occasions where the blood vessels of the penis ruptured because of too much pressure during sex from an overzealous sex position gone wrong, or testicle injury, but all of this can be avoided by learning the proper sexual technique.

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