When you get married you’re expecting your “happily ever after,” but for so many of us, that’s not the case. According to the American Psychological Association, about 40 to 50 percent of marriages in the United States end in divorce.

Jeannie Mai, host of The Real, opened up on the show about her divorce from Husband Freddy Harteis.  “Knowing what I know now about who I married, I wouldn’t have married him,” Mai shared.

“It’s just crazy. You hear all the time that money can change people. Well, divorce can really change people. It’s just so weird because the one thing that he would always say back then is like, ‘You really, truly don’t know a person until they don’t get what they want.’ But I never thought he would be the one to prove that to me,” Mai, 39, explained as she began to cry.

Mai and Harteis, who hosts The Hollywood Hunter, said I do in 2007 and split last fall after 10 years of marriage, PEOPLE reported.

Mai’s experience with divorce is not uncommon. While a happy marriage can be healthy for both people, both mentally and physically, an unhealthy marriage does just the opposite.

The American Psychological Association suggests, speaking to a psychologist to help you deal with your emotions and adjust to the changes can help ease the stress of divorce. Psychologists can also help you identify what went wrong in your marriage so you can avoid repeating any negative patterns in your next relationship.

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