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Every week my inbox is met with letters from men and women seeking advice on how to improve their sex lives, and most often, women approach me with more desperation than their counterparts. The tone that surrounds the desires of these women is often one of worry because many of them don’t want to be potato sacks in the bedroom, yet many are unclear about how to improve their sexual skill.

The journey to sexual realization is an uphill trek for women due to the perception of female sexuality perpetuated by the male societal standard.

Throughout history, female sexual pleasure has been shunned, frowned upon and has always been forbidden from being seen or experienced by women themselves—that is until the recent century. Society in Western culture is far from the archaic ways of earlier centuries that placed women in a lesser subcategory than men.

Women now have equal rights as men and can choose to live their lives open and freely in whatever expression they choose, yet so many are still fearful of embracing their sexuality. As far as society has advanced, we still carry ideals from the past into the future from year to year. Sexuality is still viewed as something only men should openly embrace and enjoy, while women are expected to keep their sexual desires locked away only to be expressed in the presence of a desiring man.

Today’s woman within a committed relationship is unconsciously plagued with the dichotomy of wanting to satisfy her mate but fearing the label of judgment that may be placed upon her if she enjoys sex or explores entirely too much.  This pulling of poles leaves many confused about how to improve their situations. And this is where female sexual empowerment comes in.

Female sexual empowerment involves the removal of shame from expressing one’s sexuality and the acceptance of one’s sexual being. There are women who go throughout life never truly connecting with their sexuality let alone their own sexual anatomy, afraid to let their hands venture to that “area down there” for the experience of pleasure.

But Please Don’t Judge Me: Why Female Sexual Empowerment Matters  was originally published on

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