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Aside from questions about sexual technique and sexual health, some of the most common questions that I receive from men are about dating.  Approaching a woman of interest is one of the most intimidating things for any man to do because it shifts the power for a moment into the court of the woman.  She has the power to inflate an ego by saying yes to a proposal for dinner, or to deflate an ego by declining. Many of the men who approach me for advice have gotten to the point where asking a woman for something as simple as having coffee is a huge deal, but there is no need to worry if these five common tips are taken into consideration when planning a first date.

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1. First impression is everything.

From the moment a man approaches a woman, whether it is in person or via the Internet, a woman is absorbing information about him and evaluating everything that he does. Consciously and unconsciously, a woman is sizing a man up to determine if he has the potential to be a fitting mate or if he is simply a throw away to use as a moment of fun.  As the old saying goes, the first impression is a lasting impression, so make sure that your best face is put forward. However, this is not a time to act grandiose because whatever fabrications are put forth for appeal will all unravel as time goes forward in the developing relationship. Be confident, be cool but most importantly be YOU.  Being respectful and courteous will go a long way, especially in your initial approach.  The first impression will be the one that determines if you will have a second date or if you will be back on the search for a new interest.

2. Don’t talk about sex.

When two people who are attracted to each other agree to get together, it is an unspoken understanding that sex has crossed the minds of each individual, but the first date (or the days leading up to it) is not the best time to talk about sex.  If a long, meaningful relationship is what you seek, sex should be something that is discussed when both parties are comfortable with each other and have some type of understanding of what each person wants as far as the type of relationship is concerned.  No woman wants to feel like she is only being pursued for sex, so keeping the conversation light and casual about her interests, career, goals and experiences is the best way to go.  Try going for topics that are open ended and allow both of you to engage in conversation that can be reciprocal. Once she feels comfortable and the attraction is high, the sex will follow when she is ready.


3. Cater to her interests.

Women love to know they are the center of attention while on a date, so when planning for the perfect place to take her, reduce the risk of getting it wrong by asking her what her interests are.  What are her dietary preferences? What restaurants are her favorites?  What types of activities does she like to do for fun? All of these questions will help with planning out the perfect date and will also give a sneak peek into her personality and background.  When you cater to her interests it shows her that you aren’t just into this date for yourself, but for her as well.

5 Things Every Man Should Consider When Planning A First Date  was originally published on

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