Ok, so, I’m gonna go there and talk about the Maxwell controversy that erupted this past week after the popular soul singer posted pictures on his Instagram of himself cozying up with some European women.

Now this, apparently, isn’t that unusual since Maxwell has posted many pictures of himself posing with white European women during his travels overseas but, this time, some black female fans took issue and let their thoughts be known on his Instagram timeline.

Needless to say, their thoughts were not complimentary, and neither was the singer’s brow-raising response that labeled his critics as “racists” along with a few other choice words.

Well I’m not here to judge Maxwell and I have no clue what his relationships are, nor do I care. Maxwell is a single man who can hang out with – or date – anyone he pleases.  Just like any single person of any color can do.

That said, I am also sensitive to the traditional and historical reasons why African-American women are—how should I say—less than enthusiastic about brothers dating outside of our race.

Especially since, in far too many cases, it’s based in self-hatred, a sick and tragic belief, perpetuated by our Western conditioning process, that other races are somehow better than or more valuable than ours.

…that white is right, or that white is a status symbol.

So when we see images of our favorite African-American male stars or sports figures with white women on their arms, all of these sensitivities bubble to the surface whether they apply to the situation or not.

I understand these feelings, but I believe there’s a healthier way of looking at it. You see, we can’t necessarily control who we fall in love with, but we can recognize problematic patterns of behavior.

For example, if a brother happens to fall in love with a white woman, it doesn’t necessarily mean anything other than they love each other. However, if a brotha dates only white women, well there might be something else going on.

The bottom line is this . If your attraction is motivated by true love or friendship, then more power to you. It’s hard enough finding someone to share your life with.

But if your mating rituals are motivated by self-hatred, you should recognize that no woman, white or any color, is going help you get over the lack of value you see in yourself.

Text us at 64-64-64 and tell us how you feel about interracial dating. I’ll leave you with this tragic and telling Old English quote from Robert Burton’s 17th century work, The Anatomy of Melancholy. It simply says:

Thou canst not think worse of me than I do of myself.


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18 thoughts on “Outside the Race: A Note on Maxwell’s Interracial Dating

  1. Blatant racism and the problems resulting from the same are pathetic. After all, we are humans and why should a black not date a white. www dot interracialmatch dot mobi and many other websites promote online dating and there is nothing wrong in it as far as the relationship lasts long enough as opposed to breaking.

  2. I am mixed race. My mother was born in St Lucia and followed her parents to England in the 1960’s with her siblings (aunt and uncle). My mother married an English/Irish man (my father) after first having a child with a black guy. I call my brother my brother irrelevant of the colour of our skin and to all intent and purposes I am white, blue eyes, straight hair, olive skin but my dad ONLY dates black women. He had it hard from black guys all his life about it.

    The thing is, I understand in America, racism is far more prevalent and recent than here in the UK, but the beauty of interracial relationships is that every child born of one helps this world reconcile itself with the fact that it works. You don’t need Black/Black, White/White relationships, you just need to let people breathe.

    This world should look forward, I get all sorts of racist comments to deal with and the looks i get from people of both colours when out with my mum disgusts me, but I am proud of both my Black mother and White father and wouldn’t want my life to pan out any other way.

    The past is the past, look to the future and embrace it. Love someone for who they are, not the colour of their skin, it’s an archaic point of view.

  3. Oh Juliette, even after all the nonsense you spew below, white women will always long for the black man. They would rather live in poverty or endure anything than to sleep with the no penis, no baby making white man. Go back to your cave and clean your feet.

  4. itsjuliette on said:

    If you are a white woman thinking of getting involved in a romantic relationship with a black man, I urge you not to make the biggest mistake of your life. BLACKS AND WHITES ARE NOT COMPATIBLE. A white woman is more likely to be assaulted in a relationship with a black, more likely to catch a disease, more likely to be emotionally and verbally abused or mistreated. Blacks are harsh cruel creatures, they are not quite human yet and have not gone through all of the developmental stages that the white race has, just look at Africa, it is hell on earth.
    White woman if you are reading this I assure you, you are not prepared for the darkness that prevails in a relationship with a black, that’s if you make it out alive and if you do it’s the same as being dead since a black will destroy everything that you have and everything that you are.
    White woman you were raised to be loved and appreciated by your parents and all of your community, you were taught to have morals, morals that have been instilled in you in your DNA for hundreds of years. You are not prepared for life with a vile, immoral black. You are not prepared to be treated like an animal, because you are not black yourself. Blacks lack a human emotion called empathy. Blacks are violent and aggressive because their hormones resemble the hormones of a primate. You are not prepared for the pain, anger, and frustration that a black person brings forth, blacks can only fill your heart with hatred as it’s all they know. You are not prepared to live in the poverty that they are so comfortable with. You are not prepared physically and mentally to carry the entire work load on your own, because blacks are inherently lazy and less intelligent you will be left to fend for yourself. Blacks do not care for their offspring, so you have a higher chance of being a single mother.
    White woman, save yourself, save your life, prevent misery, stay far away from the black race.
    White woman, the black race is beneath you. It is not about the color of their skin it is about the content of their character.

    • Itsjuliette, you are just plain ignorant and stupid. People should mind their own business. If it’s not affecting your life, why let it get to you. You sound like a woman talking from experience. Just because a black man did all these things to you, don’t relate him to every black man in this world. You know what they say, ‘One bad apple spoils the whole barrel’. You just happened to have gotten the bad apple in the barrel. I am a black man and I take offense to every word you wrote. People hate for no reason, other than to just hate. They hate their job, they hate their neighbors, they hate interracial dating…Like Tami said, “We are all God’s children” so what is the problem? I love who I love and I can’t help it, whether they are black, white, Hispanic, European, etc. People are so closed minded and I believe a lot of this hatred stems from people staying in their little neck of the woods and not venturing out. There are black people that have never socialized with white people and white people that have never associated with black people accept for work. Ignorance is bred from not knowing and that is why we still have so much hatred in this world today because people are stuck with what they were taught as children, that to hate anyone outside of their race is the norm. Each day try to brighten up someone’s day by saying something nice to someone whom you have never met and see where that gets you. You will be surprised…don’t continue to let your hatred be implanted in your children’s minds and past on to their children and so on. Otherwise, we are lost as a people forever.

  5. Even if you don’t agree with it, surely you can appreciate that it will not create white kids, and even better, it pisses off white racists for that exact reason!

  6. My thing is, black female fans should not expect men to limit themselves. Just because we are not able to date out the clan as much doesn’t mean we should expect them to deny opportunities they get. Some things men are just better able to do than women, and dating outside your ethnic group is one of them. It’s just designed that way and there’s nothing you can do about it. In fact, it actually would be unnatural and look unclassy for women to be mating with all kinds of men of different groups. I mean, no other female animals seem to do things like that. They generally have to procreate within their clan unless something was really wrong with them, such as they were ousted from their group in some way.

    • I have no problem with black men or any other man dating outside of their race. However I have to ask if you find white women unnatural and not classy since they are constantly dating outside their race. Does it bother you to date a woman who has no class and not natural?

  7. Charlene on said:

    Just admit it. If you are upset, because a person of color dates outside of their race, you are RACIST. People cannot always help who they like or who they fall in love with. Get out of the backwards thinking of dating and marriage and learn to move on and love regardless of skin color.

  8. keebee51 on said:

    The white man started the swirl not God. I’m tired of hearing about negro’s dating whites or married to one just like I’m sick of seeing boring sexually charged white shows on TV. I have no respect for interracial couples.

  9. As a black woman I don’t care if Black men date and marry white or whatever color women. It is their life and they can love who they want. Black women also are free to date outside of their race so what is the problem exactly? People cannot help who they are attracted to and it is clear that white skin attracts these men and that is their preference.

    • I was beginning to think there was something wrong with me. The idea of a black man being with a white woman or vice versa has never bothered me. Glad to know I’m not crazy.

  10. the Timekeeper on said:

    There are a whole lot of sisters married to white men as welll. Are you as equally disturbed when you read about that !

  11. I just do not believe when these black travel over-seas, I just don’t believe that they really fall in love

    love is like a raindrop it can fall on anybody,,but I do not really think they be-in love they get over-seas and they just really be looking to get laid ,, they go from woman to woman, they change women like they change their underwear, I really do not think there actually in love… and I myself

    I’m so tired of hearing another black man, dating a white woman, I mean its everywhere, I was so dissapointed when I found out that Derrick luke, was married to a white lady,, I think the only one in hollywood that is married to a black woman is Denzel washington and he is happy about it..

  12. Here we go again…I get so sick and tired of hearing/reading about this unrealistic expectation that people should not date/marry outside of the race they were born into. This is total BS and merely perpetuates the ignorance and racists ideals of white supremacy. This is dangerous and continues to hold us back as a people.

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