Are black fathers working harder at the office and with family these days? Are fathers spending more time with their children?

And do black fathers get the respect they deserve?

A new survey shows men spend almost three times as much time with their children and twice as much time doing chores as their fathers. Many men are reporting the same pressure to “have it all” as women, TODAY’s Matt Lauer reports.

Can men have it all? It’s a provocative question after decades of women facing the same dilemma over the push-pull of work and family obligations.

This month’s Esquire magazine tackles the issue head on and explains “Why Men Still Can’t Have It All.”

“All of the data suggests that men face the same problems as women do,” said Richard Dorment, senior editor at Esquire.

In an average week, modern dads are spending nearly triple the time on direct child care, and more than double the time on housework than their fathers or grandfathers did in the 1960s, according to a Pew Research Center analysis of the Census Bureau data on how Americans spend their time.

If they are employed, chances are they are putting in more than 40 hours at work, too.

As gender roles converge, so does the pressure to do it all.

“We have the rule that if someone cooks, the other person cleans,” said Hugh Kenney, a father of two who is doing more around the home. Both he and his wife Melissa work full time, yet Kenney says he feels more pressure to provide.

“It’s what we as men try to aspire to, at least me,” Kenney said. He travels three days a week for work as a consultant, so he can’t always be there for his kids, part of a generation of men experiencing “Daddy guilt.”

“Missing you know, a soccer practice here or some stuff at daycare,” he said. But he doesn’t regret any sacrifices he’s made.

So can anyone have it all?

Hal Edward Runkel, a marriage and family therapist, told TODAY’s Matt Lauer that’s not the question to ask.

“It’s this ridiculous notion that we’re supposed to have everything we want at all the time we want it and that’s never going to happen,” Runkel said.

What do you think?

3 thoughts on “Do Black Fathers Get the Respect They Deserve?

  1. the Timekeeper on said:

    Thats a nice story, however we can go tit for tat all day long about who ( men or women) have the worst stories to tell and that gets us absolutely nowhere. The question is not can men have it all, but rahter do black fathers get the respect they deserve? The answe is an emphatic NO! Reason being, male bashing is in vogue, it has become too popular and makes peole too much money to quit. The disparaing of men has woven its way into our soceity and is part of the lexicon of our society. There is a commercial where Mom call the kids down to dinner and Dad comes last tripping over himself down the stairs. Funny right, well get used to it. Really want to have it all, then Christ is the answer. This wont change woemn form wanting to blame men for every ill in their life, but he can give you peace in the storm. Oh, and to those of you who would like to dismiss this, thank you for proving my point.

  2. joey on said:

    Men can have it all,, they can have a good realionship with there children black men specially if they want it,,

    I remember the young black man who went into his daugther’s child care home where her mother dropped her off, he came in and shot his child and wounded five of the child care workers”’

    Because he didn’t want to pay child support,, it was a disgrace and very upsetting and so hurtful.
    it was just a shame..

    now the mother has no child. her only child and the father is in prison for life. terrible thing to happen,
    yes it was terrible, but he did not want a realtionship with his child he had no Respect for the mother of that child… Black men can have a great life if they want to.. that is the bottom line THERE HAS TO BE A WILL TO COMMIT.

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