Are black fathers working harder at the office and with family these days? Are fathers spending more time with their children?
And do black fathers get the respect they deserve?
A new survey shows men spend almost three times as much time with their children and twice as much time doing chores as their fathers. Many men are reporting the same pressure to “have it all” as women, TODAY’s Matt Lauer reports.
Can men have it all? It’s a provocative question after decades of women facing the same dilemma over the push-pull of work and family obligations.
This month’s Esquire magazine tackles the issue head on and explains “Why Men Still Can’t Have It All.”
“All of the data suggests that men face the same problems as women do,” said Richard Dorment, senior editor at Esquire.
In an average week, modern dads are spending nearly triple the time on direct child care, and more than double the time on housework than their fathers or grandfathers did in the 1960s, according to a Pew Research Center analysis of the Census Bureau data on how Americans spend their time.
If they are employed, chances are they are putting in more than 40 hours at work, too.
As gender roles converge, so does the pressure to do it all.
“We have the rule that if someone cooks, the other person cleans,” said Hugh Kenney, a father of two who is doing more around the home. Both he and his wife Melissa work full time, yet Kenney says he feels more pressure to provide.
“It’s what we as men try to aspire to, at least me,” Kenney said. He travels three days a week for work as a consultant, so he can’t always be there for his kids, part of a generation of men experiencing “Daddy guilt.”
“Missing you know, a soccer practice here or some stuff at daycare,” he said. But he doesn’t regret any sacrifices he’s made.
So can anyone have it all?
Hal Edward Runkel, a marriage and family therapist, told TODAY’s Matt Lauer that’s not the question to ask.
“It’s this ridiculous notion that we’re supposed to have everything we want at all the time we want it and that’s never going to happen,” Runkel said.
What do you think?
Who's Your Daddy? Celebrity Look-a-Likes
17 photos Launch gallery
1. Ples and Kirk Franklin
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2. NBA player Russell Westbrook and Bow Wow
Source:Bow Wow Instagram
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3. Trey Songz and Terrence J could easily be brothers
Source:Terrence J Instagram
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4. Actress Lashontae Heckard and Nicki Minaj look alike enough to be sisters
Source:Lashontae and Nicki's Instagram
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5. Beyonce and Shakira have long since looked like they could be distant cousins.
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6. Chris Brown and NBA player Shannon Brown could be brothers
Source:Monica Brown Instagram
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7. Ameriie and Kourtney Kardashian favor enough to be sisters
Source:Ameriie and Kourtney's Ingstagram
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8. Olympian Lolo Jones and the actress and daughter of Quincy Jones, Rashida look alike enough to be sisters.
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9. Ben Vereen and Usher favor enough to be dad and son.
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10. Pittsburgh Steelers coach Mike Tomlin & Omar Epps favor enough to be dad and son.
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11. Jesse Jackson and Emmanuel Lewis favor enough to be dad and son.
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12. Tommy Davidson and Trey Songz favor enough to be dad and son.
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13. Henry Simmons and Sterling Sulieman favor enough to be dad and son.
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14. Chris Rock and Mario favor enough to be dad and son.
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15. Andre Leon Talley and Jay-Z favor enough to be dad and son.
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16. Smokey Robinson and John Legend favor enough to be dad and son.
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17. Lionel Richie and Ludacris favor enough to be dad and son.
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Who's The Daddy? Famous Paternity Cases
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1. Organizers of a DNA test confirmed Thursday that the test proved the Michael Jackson is Brandon Howard’s biological father.
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2. TMZ reported that comedian Mike Epps was hit with a paternity suit in 2008. No word on if the child ended up being his or not.
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3. Married NFL baller Arian Foster got his mistress pregnant and she went to the news claiming that he tried to force her to get an abortion. Once their child is born, she plans on suing for child support and confirming his DNA.
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4. Mathew Knowles officially became a father again (to a son) in 2010 after DNA test came back positive. (AP)
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5. A waitress filed paternity charges against Marc Anthony in Miami. DNA tests proved he was not the father.
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6. Rae Carruth is serving 18 years (for murder) because he didn't want to submit DNA or pay child support.
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7. Michael Jordan took Karla Knafel to court after a DNA test proved he wasn't the father of her child. The court agreed.
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8. Marsha Hunt had Jagger in court for 9 years before he was finally ordered to pay child support. (AP)
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9. Mariah Yeater dropped a paternity suit against Justin Bieber & her lawyers withdrew from the case in 2011. (AP)
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10. Jagger got a girlfriend pregnant while he was married. DNA test were positive & he was ordered to pay child support.
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11. Autumn Jackson tried to extort money from Cosby claiming he was her dad. He offered DNA but she would not. She went to jail.
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12. DMX was ordered to pay $5,000 a month to Davita Oden after DNA tests proved he was the father of her 4-year-old.
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13. DMX claimed that Monique Wayne must have raped him & got pregnant - he was ordered to pay 1.5M in damages plus child support.
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14. Natalie Fears filed a $12M paternity suit against Mike Tyson but DNA test results proved he was not the father. (AP)
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15. After his death, DNA proved that James Brown was the father of Tomi Rae Hynie's six year old son. (AP)
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16. Jill Miskelly filed suit against Busta Rhymes & the DNA results showed a 99.9964% chance he was the father.
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17. Steve Jobs took two years before he acknowledged his daughter Lisa with artist Chrisann Brennan. DNA test were positive.
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18. After Anna Nicole passed, five men claimed to be Dannielyn's Dad, but only Larry Birkhead's DNA was a match. (AP)
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19. A woman was ordered to pay Keanu Reeves legal expenses after DNA test results proved he had not fathered her 4 kids.
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20. ODB died in 2004 and his widow Icelene Jones stored his DNA just in case any baby mamas came forward. (AP)
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