So, even though February, the month of love, is over, we’re still examining love and relationships on today’s show, and it makes sense to me. Because no matter what else is going on, love and love issues remain. Producer Erica Taylor is helping us explore the mistakes we make for love.
We’ve all done something that someone else would consider a mistake for love, but that doesn’t really count?
I think we should go to the limit for real love because if we are really committed, we will, at some point, find ourselves doing more or giving more to our mates. And if you’re the one giving the most, you might feel like you’re a fool. But if what you’re doing is keeping your relationship together, is it really foolish? And does it feel foolish to you when only you and your partner know about it, or is it when someone on the outside finds out about it that makes you feel like a fool?
If you’re really in love, you shouldn’t be keeping score. If no one is getting hurt physically or mentally, what’s wrong with putting yourself out there for the sake of showing your unconditional love?
This brings me to Chris Brown and Rihanna. The story this weekend is that they’ve reunited. Anyone surprised? We all know women in abusive relationships who allow their abusers back in their lives not once, but sometime hundreds of times. When I said I couldn’t under any circumstances accept what Chris Brown allegedly did to his girlfriend Rihanna, the majority of calls and text messages I got from mostly women said I was wrong – that Chris Brown was a kid who made a mistake and should be forgiven. Forgiven yes, but excused, never. And by the way, he didn’t make a mistake. What he did was a deliberate act of violence, and every expert I’ve heard says that these things usually happen more than once. So, if Chris Brown and Rihanna are back together, there’s a very good chance that it will happen again. I pray that it doesn’t. I pray that he gets the help he needs and they go on to have a happy, healthy relationship. But that’s not what the statistics bear out. And the shelters are full of battered women to show for it.
But Rihanna isn’t being a fool for love for going back to Chris. She’s being human, and since she’s just 21, she has every reason to believe that a promise to never hit again can be trusted. Chris Brown is even younger and might believe in his heart that he will never put his hands on her in anger again. But if he doesn’t get the help he needs, the odds are that he will fall right back into that pattern of violence the next time he gets loses his temper.
If you’re a battered woman or know one, I wish you could reach out to Rihanna and any other young women in her situation and tell her the truth. And men who are abusers should do the same thing with Chris and abusive young guys. As fans, it’s fine for us all to love Chris and Rihanna in that optimistic, Hollywood-ending, rose-colored glasses sort of way, but what they need from real adults in the real world is real help and tough love.