Damon uses his segment to uplift women! He thinks that all women need to be nicer to themselves and other women. Tell yourself you’re beautiful and be kind to yourself. Women are the only ones so hard on themselves, he says men don’t have body image issues. Think about it, the crusty man in a […]
A woman in Colorado Springs spotted an injured bob cat on the road and decided to help. She stopped her car, wrapped the bobcat in a blanket an put it in her car. She drove to get help for the animal and the animal control people told her, “first things first, get out the damn […]
Damon wants whoever has been selling Terrence Howard weed in Chicago to stop! Whatever he has been smoking is too strong and Damon says they need to “get him so reefer.” On the red carpet for the Emmys he was tripping! He said that he had made discoveries in his own life and was able […]
This may be the worst date ever! A woman’s man dropped her off at the store to grab a few things but he left her! So she checked the GPS on the car and tracked him all of the way to a drive in movie theater! But, the kicker is that when she opened the […]
A porn star who calls herself “Bridget the Midget” was arrested Wednesday on felony charges after a big fight with her boyfriend that turned violent. She ended up stabbing him after she allegedly found out he was cheating on her. Damon thinks that’s crazy because she literally has sex with people for a living.
A resident in an Atlanta apartment complex got an interesting note from their landlord. Apparently a neighbor complained that they had been hearing “too much noise when people are having sex” and if it continues they may be evicted. Damon wants to know why they’re listening and why they’re so loud when they’re “doing it!” But […]
Damon finally got his boat back on September 11 after it’s been in the shop since last fall! Now, before you think “oh those are rich people problems,” Damon wants to let everyone know that if he were rich, he wouldn’t be trying to get his boat fixed, he’d have a new boat. He gave […]
We all love our birthday and birthdays are great! But, Damon thinks we’ve got birthdays “twisted.” We’ve been doing it all wrong. He asks, “why don’t you give your mama a present on your birthday?” If you really think about it she did all of the work….all we did was “disconnect and come on out.”
A TSA contract worker in Rochester New York learned a tough lesson about Offending passengers. She was fired after a passenger complained that he was passed a note after going through security. He didn’t open the note until he got to the gate and it said, “you ugly.” Apparently the agent had the note written and […]
This is a story of stupid sex. Six seniors in Connecticut between the ages of 62 and 85 were caught and arrested on sex charges. The five men and one woman were charged with public indecency and breach of peace after they were caught in an area that people online say is a good hook […]
This story makes no sense to Damon, and it actually might make you cringe. A 70-year-old British man was awarded $24,000 after medical malpractice. He went to have a bladder procedure and was apparently mixed up with another patient. Long story short the doctors ended up circumcising and now he’s $24,000 richer. HEAD BACK TO […]
Damon has been in Martha’s Vineyard for a while and he’s had plenty of time to think. He’s decided that people who haven’t smoked weed in a while, or ever, really need to stay away from edibles. He’s seen a lot of people in the Vineyard walking around entirely too high because they don’t understand […]
