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When finally connecting with a person you are interested in and see a future with, a plaguing question is, “Is he my future husband?” Dating has become more complex, and people are fearless in discussing its challenges. There’s ghosting, orbiting, and even breadcrumbing culture. If you’ve been dating recently, you may have experienced one or all of these. Ghosting is when someone you are dating or getting to know goes “no contact.” Orbiting is similar to ghosting; however, with orbiting, the person no longer contacts you but continues to interact with your content on social media through likes, comments, or views. Breadcrumbing leaves a trail of “breadcrumbs” in the form of text, comments, or snaps to lead someone on with this desire for an actual relationship.
Navigating these modern dating challenges can make it difficult to discern genuine intentions, but there are clear signs that can help you identify if he’s truly the one for you.
God Confirmed It
I’ve been in the dating and relationship space for over ten years. When I began my journey of abstinence, although a very vulnerable topic, The Lord called me to share it online. Social media became a safe space for me and other women to converse tough and unadulterated. My DMs and email inboxes would get flooded with questions about how to navigate abstinence, maintain intimacy as a single person, and date God’s way. These conversations would often lead to uncertainty about whether or not they were dating the “right” person. The question I would ask people that often alarmed them was, “Did you ask God if you two belong together”? “Let’s be honest, we’ve all had moments when we hesitated to tell God: ‘God, if he’s not the one, please remove him from my life.” Why? Because the moment we blurt out that statement, and the man is not who God intended you to be with, God will remove them. If Jesus is our Lord, we must allow Him to have lordship over our relationships. We should present every relationship before God and ask His purposes for that relationship. Once you present your relationship to God, wait for God’s confirmation.
You Have Peace
It’s essential to pay attention if you’re feeling unsettled in your relationship, as it could be a sign that something needs to be addressed. In my experience, nine out of ten women who broke up with their boyfriends knew deep down that they were in the wrong relationship. Sometimes, out of loneliness and desperation, we tend to overlook warning signs. As believers, we are given discernment by the Lord, which allows us to make sound judgments based on truth rather than just our feelings. If you’re in a relationship and wondering if this person could be your future husband, it’s crucial not to ignore the first sign. Instead, ask yourself if you feel at peace about the relationship.
You are Equally-Yoked
“Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. For what partnership has righteousness with lawlessness? Or what fellowship has light with darkness? What accord has Christ with Belial? Or what portion does a believer share with an unbeliever?” – 2 Corinthians 6:14-15 ESV
The conversation around this verse from Paul is often heavily debated. Let’s dive into what a yoke is to give you a better understanding of this scripture. In biblical times, a yoke was a wooden instrument used on animals to keep their heads together and ensure they moved simultaneously; the yoke would force the animals to walk in the same direction. In this scripture, Paul speaks to the Church at Corinth, which is heavily influenced by the culture around them. Paul’s letter of warning was sent to these believers to encourage them to be set apart from non-believers in their beliefs and walk based on his previous teaching.
Furthermore, Amos 3:3 states, “Can two walk together, except they are agreed?” When determining if the man you are dating is your future husband, ask, ” Are we equally yoked?” God honors the covenant of marriage, which is seen through the Word. When you get married, two people become one flesh. He may be your future husband if you two share the same foundational principles about your faith, stance on marriage, salvation, and beliefs on the integrity of the Word. Being equally yoked does not mean that you will agree on every theological topic; however, there are basic tenets of your faith that should align.
This list is only exhaustive of some of the ways to determine if the person you are with is your future husband. Instead, it includes three essential and foundational ways. If, after reading this, you still have some uncertainty about whether you are with your God-ordained spouse, I would encourage you to seek God. The Holy Spirit is a revealer of all truth.
Sade Solomon is a NYC-based social media personality and multi-hyphenate creator who boldly and fashionably ignites authentic and candid conversations on topics surrounding intercourse, singleness, and abstinence. After embarking on her journey of abstinence in 2013, Sade began openly sharing her life-changing commitment on various online platforms while enlightening and inspiring many through her journey. In her book, Ready, Set, Wait, Sade peels back the layers of truth about navigating singleness and abstinence as a single Christian woman. Her work and commentary have been featured by Good Morning America, Harper’s Bazaar, Essence, Black Love, and XO Necole.
MORE FROM SADE SOLOMON…
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How to Date Well: Cultivating Healthy Relationships and Behaviors
Can Men And Women Be Just Friends?
Surrendering to God’s Love Story: An Open Letter to Single Women
3 Signs He Could Be Your Future Husband was originally published on elev8.com
