It’s time for another reading of the “Daily Horrorscope,” where Georgia Alfredas keeps it real by telling every astrological sign the harsh truth about themselves for today’s date of November 15th, 2022.
READ YOUR HORRORSCOPE BELOW
Aries: Why does your cheap uncle try to convince your kids that the neighborhood Carnival is Six Flags?
Taurus: You might be too drunk if you’re debating who you’re going to fantasize about tonight: Beyonce and a teddy or Teddy Riley in a Teddy?
Gemini: Slow down on the Tats. You’re running out of skin.
Cancer: Why is your wife insisting that you break up with your baby mama and spend more time with your side chick and spend some good quality time with your brake babies?
Leo: Fellas, taking your woman to a motel is not something that should be considered romantic. I mean, the comforters smell like baby pee.
Virgo: If you’re getting married in a room at Dave and Busters fire your wedding planner.
Libra: It ain’t a sexy thing if you blow your nose during foreplay.
Scorpio: The snorkeling instructor with rotten teeth and gum disease is using your mouthpiece for a demonstration. Not good.
Sagittarius: if the new man invites you over to his place for dinner. And he prepares you a Nutrisystem meal. He’s trying to tell you something.
Capricorn: If the makeup lady applying your makeup at the mall the makeup lady though? Yeah. If her fingers smell like she just polished off a tuna sandwich, you have to say something she’s right in front of your face, your nose.
Aquarius: Your man may be slow. If he thinks he can shoplift online.
Pisces: Arguing with a former UFC fighter that’s been drinking heavily in a bar full of UFC fighters, is not a real smart move.