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Russ Parr Horrorscopes

Source: Reach Media / Reach Media

 

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It’s time for another reading of the “Daily Horrorscope,” where Georgia Alfredas keeps it real by telling every astrological sign the harsh truth about themselves for today’s date of October 28th, 2022.

 

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Aries: If you’re trying out the new Mexican restaurant down the street, and you see nothing but black people cooking in the back, instead of a mariachi group serenading at your table. There are a couple of black hip hop artists been some rhymes. That actually may not be an authentic Mexican restaurant

Taurus: You’re from southeast DC. What’s with the English accent?

Gemini: How about on the next job interview, you wear a bra?

Cancer: You’ve been married for 25 years. Why are you still trying to win an argument with your spouse?

Leo: Everybody’s complimenting your Jack-o-Lantern outfit for Halloween. What a cute costume girl. Unfortunately, they didn’t even know you were already missing a few teeth.

Virgo: Your new girl may not trust you if she’s naked, making love to you, and also holding our purse at the same time.

Libra: If you have to break up an argument between your new man and your eight-year-old son over what’s left in a box of Froot Loops you might want to rethink that relationship.

Scorpio: You might be petty if you break up with your man after seeing a picture of his ex-girlfriend.

Sagittarius: If your lunch is constantly being stolen out of the work office refrigerator, start making some cat food sandwiches.

Capricorn: It is not a good look lecturing your teenage daughter on suggestive clothing she’s wearing and you have five hickeys on your neck.

Aquarius: You are so wrong faking like you have the itis after eating $88 worth of food and an expensive restaurant right

Pisces: You’re a practicing attorney and you think the club you’re at is beneath you. Until about after two drinks. Drinks.