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Russ Parr Horrorscopes

Source: Reach Media / Reach Media

 

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It’s time for another reading of the “Daily Horrorscope,” where Georgia Alfredas keeps it real by telling every astrological sign the harsh truth about themselves for today’s date of August 17th, 2022.

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Aries: You just hired a secretary for $80,000 a year and she typed with two fingers cause she fine. She’s nice to look at.

Taurus: Why are you talking all loud name dropping non relevant people?

Gemini: You thought dating a black police officer would keep you from getting pulled over while you’re with him. Did you forget you was in America?

Cancer: You are wrong for sending an airbrushed naked selfie of yourself to your new potential man.

Leo: Your son just stole some weed from a dispensary and you’re proud of him.

Virgo: Why are you talking about you don’t do pork ribs? But bacon don’t count? Stop playing.

Libra: Why is your child the designated driver when he only has his permit?

Scorpio: Why your grandma tell the grandkids that she doesn’t really like that she never had enough food for him.

Sagittarius: Stop fight with your coworker everyday and just tell her you like her.

Capricorn: There are two good reasons why you shouldn’t go to a pool party. Number one you don’t swim. Number two, you’ll want to get your hair wet. There should be three number three. You don’t get to a fight when somebody wets

your hair.

Aquarius: Remember, there is no such thing as I used to be fast. He was fast then, you’re probably fast now. lly

Pisces: Remember, never start a fistfight with somebody in public in front of your children. There is always that possibility that you could get dominated in front of kids.

 

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