Niecy Nash just turned 50 years old this week, and with half a century of life lived, she isn’t letting something like divorce keep her from being grateful and happy. But she does have a few words for people who came for her and that book she wrote about love and marriage when she confirmed the news of her split from Jay Tucker after eight years together.

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The star wrote the book “It’s Hard to Fight Naked” in 2013, a few years after she and Tucker married. In that book, there is a whole chapter titled “Stomach Full, Penis Empty: A Woman’s Guide to a Happy Marriage” she told her readers that “a BJ a day keeps the divorce away.” That advice was controversial then and now, but Nash stood by it proudly at the time, saying, “I keep a job and a man. So I’m doing something right.”

So when people heard she was getting a divorce, they got on social media and threw that blow job guidance back in her face. She actually saw all those comments but says she has no regrets about what she wrote about love and marriage then because she still believes it now, though she does have a wider perspective than before.

“I wrote a book about love, and people were then on social media going, ‘Oh, so I guess all that stuff you put in that book didn’t work?’” she told PEOPLE for their newest issue. “I still believe every single thing I said in that book, but I also believe that sometimes for some people, forever ain’t forever, it’s for now.”


Nash says wasn’t going to stay married just to keep other people happy.

“Some people are still together for their Instagram,” she said. “You better live for you!”

And for the record, together or not, she still believes she and Tucker are #relationshipgoals, just in a different way.

“First of all, I’m a whole goal all by myself,” she said. “But I still think we could be couple goals on how we untether. There’s some people that if you say the name of their ex they would throw up in their mouths a little bit. We still love each other.”

In case you were wondering why they couldn’t work if they still have for each other Nash simply said they were no longer the same people, and that’s okay.

“Who I was when I met my husband 10 years ago is not who I am today,” she said. “You evolve. That doesn’t make your partner a bad husband, it just means this relationship is not serving who I am right now.”