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Rapper Eve chatted with about her personal growth and the lessons she’s learned throughout the various stages of love, make-ups and breaks-ups with “comfortable” guys. Now she’s the wife to a British millionaire and stepmom to his four kids, and she opens up about how this relationship has helped her be a more vulnerable woman, and learn to be comfortable with “who she is.”

Below are excerpts from their chat:

She had to stop dating what was familiar and step out of her comfort zone to find love:

I can’t even lie, I’m not saying that it’s impossible, but [dating in L.A.] was hard. I had to import. I think it was also the circles that you’re in especially when you’re in the industry, that breeds the same thing and I lived there for so long, if I went back and I was single I would do it a different way. I wouldn’t be trying to find someone within the people that I hung out with or the circle that I was in; I would actually try to get out of my comfort zone.

Marriage has taught her to be more vulnerable as a woman:

Being married and having stepchildren has completely changed me because when I first met him I didn’t even know how to talk to kids. I was like do you want to color? What do you want?! I was so weird with the kids, and it takes a minute to settle, but I definitely softened as a person. I don’t come from a family of huggy, ‘I love you’ type of affectionate people. If we kind of know you you’ll get the head nod, and with the kids you have to be open to hugs and that changed me, and it’s a really nice thing. Being in a relationship and being married, nothing changed much except for the fact that we [can be] like we’re together. No questions, no stress, that’s my partner. That’s my homie. That’s how it’s supposed to be, and I’ve never had that before, so it’s really nice.

Having a supportive partner helps her to have balance:

It’s hard but also at the same time I have somebody who is supportive and also I live on the other side of the world now. It took me probably two years to be like this is who I am right now at this part of my life and in this world. But I made the decision and I live with it. I love being [in London]. I think it helps me to have a life.

She hopes to one day be a mother:

Absolutely, we want to have babies, but I think it is what it is. It’ll happen when it’s supposed to. I feel pressure, but not like pressure I have to hurry up and do it. It’s more like I want to be a young mom (laughs). I feel like we both understand it is what it is. I can’t make it happen any faster, sorry. But I hope and pray it’s going to happen soon.

8 Black Celebs Mixed With Irish
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(Eve/Maximillon Cooper’s Instagram)