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Believe it or not, anxiety, stress and nervousness are common contributors to a poor sexual performance, and this is a fact that many rarely take into consideration. The body does a good job at responding to sexual stimulants, but if the mind is not in sync with it sex will prove to be difficult.

One piece of advice I like to give to those that I coach about sexual performance is to RELAX, yet so many struggle to do this before sex. A little focus on relaxation can go a long way in improving sexual skill. Here are my top three tips on how to relax before going into sex.

Lower your expectations

Going into a sexual experience can be nerve wrecking, especially when certain expectations have been set.  Ease worries and reduce anxiety by releasing any expectations that may exist about your partner’s performance.  This creates a space of openness that allows the experience to flow into whatever direction your emotions lead it. Holding certain ideas of how the experience will go can build anxiety that can prove to be detrimental to erections for men and arousal for women. Relax, lower your expectations and just flow with the moment.

Practice deep breathing

Slowing down your breath facilitates in slowing heart rate and improving mood. Release anxiety by closing your eyes and taking a few deep breaths before opening your eyes and checking in with yourself. Doing these deep breathing exercises in the mirror can assist with checking in with self to be in the now. As you breathe in, imagine your body filling up with goodness and light, and when you exhale envision all of your worries and anxiety flowing away from your mind and body along with the breath. Visualization helps.

Shake a tail feather

Dancing has a way of getting people out of their minds and into their bodies. Put on some of your favorite music, close your eyes and sway your body to the rhythm. Focusing on the music and allowing the music to penetrate your mind will help to ease tension caused by over thinking. Once the mind is relaxed you will be able to become aware of what your body is doing. Your sexual energy can be awakened through dancing seductively by moving your hips; men and women can benefit from these movements. Dancing solo is great for releasing nervousness, but dancing for your partner can also act as a form of foreplay and intimacy.


Ease On Down: The Best Ways To Overcome Sexual Performance Anxiety  was originally published on

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