By now we’ve all seen the video supposedly of Solange Knowles pummeling Jay-Z in an elevator of a New York City Hotel.

And from the looks of it Beyonce may have woke up like this but Solange woke up mad, and ready to fight


The video is a spectacle.

And I have to admit that I’ve watched it over and over and over again.

Each time is like the first time.

I flinch when she corners him.

I cringe every time she tries to kick him.

I know he’s a grown man who is bigger than her but I feel sorry for him standing there wondering what to do like a trapped animal; his wife seemingly barely lifting a hand to defend him.

I also wonder what our collective reactions would have been had it been Jay-Z punching, kicking and yelling at Solange or any other woman for that matter.

I would venture a guess that he would have been arrested and taken to jail almost immediately or shortly after the video surfaced.

Without question there is a double standard when it comes to domestic violence committed against men.

Here’s food for thought.

A survey taken by the CDC in 2010 found that 40% of the victims of severe, physical domestic violence are men.

And the study shows that “despite many findings that show almost equal amounts of abuse perpetrated against men and women, the media and government focus the most attention on the female victims of domestic violence.”


Men feel they should be stronger and don’t want to be embarrassed by a physically smaller woman getting the best of them.

They don’t want to be ridiculed when the police show up.

And someone like Jay-Z just doesn’t want the attention.

Because if not for the videotape in that elevator, who would believe that tiny Solange could actually hurt big Jay-Z?

And as we see in that video the truth is that women more often use objects like purses and shoes against men; many times those objects are deadly weapons.

According to one study, “63 percent of males as opposed to 15 percent of women had a deadly weapon used against them in a fight with an intimate partner.”

So for all of you who are rationalizing Solange’s behavior by saying she was either defending herself or her sister against some egregious act by Jay-Z, think about this first.

That could indeed be true but for whatever reasons there isn’t much research on domestic abuse against men by official government agencies.

And because of that the study states that people are able to perpetuate myths like women are only violent when defending themselves, or that men could more easily leave a violent relationship.

It’s simply not true.


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9 thoughts on “DON LEMON: Female On Male Violence

  1. I assist both men and women in domestic violence and family law cases. When my male clients are victims of DV, the women are usually found not guilty and the judges refuse to grant the man a restraining order. However, when a woman alleges she is merely frightened, a man can be restrained up to 3 years. If there are children involved, California law states the person who committed the DV should have restricted child custody rights and should not be awarded primary physical custody. By judges failing and refusing to acknowledge that women can be abusers, they empower the women to further abuse the men, endanger the children, and keep the vicious cycle in force.

  2. Timekeeeper on said:

    Don’s point is well taken. In fact, a woman was just sent to prison for killing a man with her Stilleto heel. Of course, we could al go back and forth with horror stories back and forth but that isnt the point. We all love our woemn and hate to see any of them abused. I cringe every time I see stories of how badly some women get abused by a reckless man But, like Jay Z, men never get the benefit of the doubt when they are hit. In fact, had this tape not been there, I doubt if anyone would even have believed Solange even did that to him. the bottomline is that Sin Is Not A Gender Specific Disease. Remember that. Ladies keep your hand out of your mans face, and your hands and pocketbooks by your side. It does cut both ways. and the cops will always go after th man, always.

      • I said it. on said:

        Kay, don’t flip flop. When you first posted you weren’t on this trip, but now you’re posting about something that supposedly happened when? What have you done in the past? Do you do all of it now? Do you want it thrown in your face? The dude does well despite of his past, not because of his past. He’s also smart enough to change as he grows up. Bringing up old info. on someone who’s obviously grown from their past, is immature and doesn’t encourage people to change.

      • Oh please! That negro would have slapped the slobber out of her mouth had that elevator not been filming. She knows it. That’s why she waited until they got in the elevator.

  3. I said it. on said:

    Don is right on this one. I don’t want anyone putting their hands on my daughter, or sons. My sons can be killed, bruised, injured, just as my daughter can. I tell young men to report when young women hit them because I know if the tables were turned these young men would be persecuted and prosecuted. Both sexes need to keep their hands in their pockets, stay out of each others faces, and close their mouths. I’ve seen females pursue males with vigor who are trying to walk away. It’s not ladylike, smart, nor cute.

    • Timekeeeper on said:

      You are 100% correct, I said it. Some people will hold a brothers past over his head for the rest of his life. Thankfully, these kind of people dont have a hell to send anybody to, nor a heaven they can offer.
      Jesus offers salvation to those who change. Not jaded individuals.

  4. i 2 know why you are taken up 4 men now why when men have been beating up on women 4 many many —–years if you are out with your man some guy pass by your table @ your man say whats going on @ then your man go upside your head in public @ beat the hell out of you 4 no reason at all this is what men have been during 2 women all these years has your mother ever been hit or beaten by your father when you was a child you will never no because some women want talk about it at all so now its pay back time

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