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It’s always a beautiful thing when two people who have a mutual attraction toward one another can come together and agree to commit to each other in a union that will ideally shape each individual into a better person through love. In the beginning, everything is fresh and those feelings of butterflies from having something new and exciting can often lead to rushed decisions and overlooking certain habits or traits that could develop into deal breakers later in the relationship.

One common issue that sends relationships down the road of brokenness is a lack of communication. It happens too often that people dive head first into a relationship before having those necessary conversations about what the relationship standard will be. I like to call this standard the “relationship contract”.

What Is a Relationship Contract?

So what exactly is in this “relationship contract” and why is it so important? I’m glad you asked! The relationship contract is a set of rules that you and your partner decide upon as the guidelines for your relationship.  A relationship can be as open and as free as you want it to be, or as discreet and closed off as you want to make it. The main focus is placing your ideas and concerns on the table to discuss them.

  • What are your opinions about friends of the opposite sex?
  • Can your partner still be involved with people they were once intimate with?
  • Is this relationship one that will move towards marriage, or is it one that you just want to float with the wind to see where it goes?
  • What role does social networking play in your relationship dynamic?
  • Do you place pictures online of your developing love?
  • Do you keep your relationship off of the social sites and live in reality?

Raise as many questions and place as many things on the table for discussion as possible. Leave no stone unturned and no topic that may be important to you undiscussed. There may be some things that your partner believes that you don’t agree with, and it is at that point of disagreement that a compromise must be made before moving forward.

Why Should You Consider Having a Relationship Contract?

Do You Need A “Relationship Contract”? was originally published on blackdoctor.org

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One thought on “Do You Need A “Relationship Contract”?

  1. Kenneth Wells on said:

    Call me old fashioned, but why do you need a “relationship contract” to talk about issues in the relationship? Does this mean the contract is legally binding? Can one person sue the other for not keeping up their end of the contract? Many of the things you mention won’t be known until you start the relationship. Just as people don’t want the federal government in their health care, I wouldn’t want a lawyer in my relationship. To me, having a contract is setting the couple up to fail.

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