Over the weekend, black women were honored during BET’s annual “Black Girls Rock!” event which got us thinking. We know Black women are amazing and deserve all of the kudos in world but do the men see it?

In response, we posed the question to our Facebook page:

“If “Black girls rock” (because we know we do), then why do black men use our perceived flaws to justify dating outside their race?”

We received tons of responses, check them out below and give us your opinions in the comment section.

“Some Black men who date outside of their race would do so even if Black women treated them like Gods or Kings. These Black men make up lame excuses about Black women having flaws to somehow justify their (Black Men’s) interracial dating choices, when in actuality these Black men worship White flesh, and would do so no matter how good Black women were,” said John F.

“Because they don’t like what they see in the mirror,” said Lavinnia B.

“Some of you black women are crazy and have issues no man will deal with that bullshit,” said Jartel H.

“I will never understand that but I never dated a white girl and only dated several Hispanics and only off of attraction, physical and intellectual but I am happily engaged to a black woman,” said, Roger S.

Robin S. said, “Pathetic men like Kanye West do, not REAL men!”

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95 thoughts on “WE ASKED, YOU ANSWERED: Why Do Black Men Date Outside Their Race?

  1. I date white women because I can have a good conversation with them withOut a attitude. Black women are bullys and rude. Some of them are lazy and have too many baby daddys. Most white women got their stuff together. Some of them like the little things in life. Black women don’t like to take risk.

    • Kristin on said:

      You have to be one of the dumbest most close minded self hating black bastards i’ve ever seen in my life. I’m black. I’m not loud. I’m not ghetto. I’m fun as fuck! And I’m beautiful as fuck natural curly hair and all! How fucking dare you throw your own women under the bus like that. Didn’t you come out of a black pussy. Just be honest with yourself and say ” I hate myself, my black skin and black people” . Its a shame that you think its ok to “prefer” white women. The problem isn’t black women it’s black men like you!

  2. Rocco on said:

    There are at least three reasons. 1- White girls in public high school , for example, hear from other white girls that to go with a Black guy would make them very popular. How do I know? Some years ago both of my daughters told me that is what goes on in school. 2- Hollywood has often portrayed the White male as a jerk but the Black male as ‘da man’. 3- I have Black acquaintances who ask me to hook them up with an Asian girl. Why? My wife is Asian.

  3. DFWNovelista on said:

    The issue lies not in the fact of interracial dating/relationships, but more aptly in the generalizations and degradation surrounding this choice among black men. If you chose someone of any race for love and compatibility, no one has an issue, but if you do so and degrade or diminish women of your own race as inferior, that is an issue. Truthfully, many black men do so, and this is offensive and disrespectful, not only to black women, but to yourselves as well.

  4. why do black men date putside their race ? depends on what you class . Africans we are NOT like that . we love our women and our culture . dating outside your race is way more prevelant in black america and black europe . even african immigrants in these countries are not like that . its weird

  5. Coming from a black women: I say date who you love! Love is not based on freakin skin color! Black men AND women have looked at me weird and questioned me as to why i like men of different races. Why do people always have to analyze why someone dates outside their race? Why is it so hard for some black women to believe and accept that a black man can love someone outside of their race? I know there are always going to be those ignorant black men who say “Black women aint shit, they argue too much, etc.”. Yes they are jerks. But you cant generalize and say all black men are like that. Not all black men used perceived flaws of black women to justify dating outside their race. I have awesome friends who are in a black man/white women couple: & the guy doesn’t ever talk down about black women. He has nothing against them, he just ended up falling in love with a white women. &I’m happy for them, they really love each other…that’s what it should all be about!!

    Black people need to stop tearing each other down. This type of stuff makes it harder for black people to date outside their race because we know we will receive criticism and backlash from our own people! How can some black women criticize black men for dating white women, and get mad when black men talk crap about them dating white men? Don’t they realize that they are doing the same thing to each other: putting each other down for dating outside the race?!! Black people need to stop doing this to each other, and just accept that love can actually come in different forms…one of them including being from a different race!

  6. We have raised a generation of young Black
    men who are confused and misguided.
    To many think with the wrong head.

    When you don’t have a strong understanding
    of your forefathers and yourself, you don’t
    know where you fit in and you have no
    sense of the future. You allow the media
    and popular culture to tell you who you are,
    what you should be and who you should be with.
    Popular culture tells Black men they should
    be with anyone else but their own women
    and to many of us have come to believe the lies.

    There is no Black community without the Black
    Family. They know and understand that.
    But do we? The Truth Will Set Us Free.

    • andrew on said:

      black women have singlehandledly did away with what the whole idea of family is… they look at family as mother and kids by multiple men…

  7. Personally I’ve been hit on many many times by white men they don’t interest me and they never will not one race is better than the other it is about what you prefer as for me my black brothers will always appeal to me more than the white man

  8. carole on said:

    One thing black men will never understand is that no matter how much a white woman says”I love you”, when the chips are down you will be just another black man. The only thing a white woman wants from a black man is his money and what you possess below your belt. This is proven all the time, and I have not seen any thing or any interracial couple that has or who has proven me wrong yet.

    • BlackBeauty on said:

      Sorry, but you are wrong!
      I personally know mixed couples who have been together for years that are devoted to each other their marriage and family. White women are no different than any other woman when she loves her man.
      Unfortunatly, far too many black women use the old stand by put down of white women that all they want is money or sex. Just not true! Why do some of us continue to perpetuate this false-hood?

    • Jumpingchi on said:

      Carole, what a horrible, untruthful, disingenuous thing too say! How can you even begin to generalize like this?! I have heard more black women talk this way about men! In any case, black or white, I’ve actually heard little talk about men this way, except through the public media of television, radio, music, advertising, and movies. Please surround yourself with people of higher integrity.

  9. Ruth O'hara on said:

    Dating outside your race is no crime. Date who you want but DONT put down Afr-Amer women with made up excuses! and to Afr-Amer women…if you can’t beat ’em, join them!! Be more friendly, flirty, and make nice eye-contact with White guys. Be consistently positive and communicative (but don’t talk to much) show your humor, but don’t clown. Be open-minded. Black men are following the trends of the athletes, singers and actors who love it when these Euro and Latin-Amer women come after them so aggressively-

  10. C.Spencer on said:

    First we must redefine race, last time I checked we were all human. And whose business it is anyway? A man is going to do as he pleases for whatever reason he chooses. If he’s hurt, let it be that, if he’s looking for something else, let it be that. Then mind your business and do some soul searching of your own. Same goes for women. Don’t let stereotypes be the reason why you are pressured into dating someone from your surroundings. We should be able to search for better than where we came from no matter what the skin color.

  11. keebee51 on said:

    I’m sick of this question like I’m sick of pictures like the one posted above. I want to see more negro on negro love as well as shows.

  12. The major reason why a man would chose someone out of his own race is because of the physical attributes and personality traits. Not necessarily because of having a negative view of black women. But what happens sometimes is that when you try to prove that your love is true but the proof isn’t enough so you move on to the next nigga like what he gone do. In that’s what some women do especially black women and real men don’t like that. It still doesn’t mean that all black women are limited to that stereotype though, that’s inconsiderate and ignorant.

    What is love now of days? Is it now limited to race or color, at first It was a black man with a white woman then a tree. Are we still living in that time period? We are not and we need to stop acting like

    we are. I believe that all women are equal no matter what race or color and so are men. This whole idea of black men not wanting to have anything to do with black women because of personality traits is

    not intelligent. It is all about the love, if they really love each other what’s the big deal. People fail to realize that the babies that are made by black and white, by black and Mexican, America loves them; want them to be stars.

    What happen to just men and women? There was Adam and Eve, not sure what race they were, but I am sure they were man and woman.

    I think that comments made by some of you is so racist, and so immature. What does it matter a black women with a white man or vice versa, a Mexican man with a white woman.

    Aren’t they man and woman right? because at the end of the day all the colors make black.

  13. Sharon on said:

    Why? Because they want to! Most of these comments are extremely negative and degrading to black men. Could that be one of the reasons why black men date outside of their race? Negative black females.

  14. The Nation Of Islam, The Peace Keepers, The Detroit 300 all groups of black men that hit the streets and help police ghettos that they did not make. However no credit or recognition is given to them on this site or other forms of black media. Yet this site dedicates so much time to helping destroy the relationship of black males and females. Too all of you male bashers show me the female counterparts of these brothers?

  15. the Timekeeper on said:

    The question this website asks is “Why Do Black Men Date White Women? In resonse to this Half Ass post some of you ( Not All but Some) have taken this as license to vall black men out of their name in every which way you can. These comments are calling brothers every thing but a child of God. So when you ask tis stupid question, some of you are givng your own answer.
    Now turn on me all you want. But take a look at these comments and then tell me I am worng becuase I am not. Save your hate for Ted Cruz, The Tea Party abd the Birthers ’cause I aint the one.If anyone thinks these hateful, no account responses serve any good purpose, or open any kind of positive dialoge you are sadly mistaken.

  16. Serpentine you missed the point if interracial relationships are wrong for black men they are wrong for black women lets not celebrate one and bash the other. The divide of the black male and female destroyed the community. When the black male was at his zenith so was the race. Now all that is being celebrated is black women going for self and look at the communities.

    • My finger is in the air, neck rolling, don’t have ‘weeve’ and not that loud! who you talking bout boo?!!! LOL

      Back to seriousness, most people in these relationships, think all is rosy! And they will never have an arguement or disagreement! They get a divorce/seperate as soon as they argue. Watch.

  17. This site promotes scandal daily and currently has been promoting best man holiday in which a black woman is dating a white man and you question what is wrong with black men? Look at all of the post bashing brothers but mention scandal or shonda rhimes and watch the hypocrisy. The black male has been being maligned in the media for over 30 years now and black media is no different. The black race will continue to be troubled until the black male is put back in his proper place as head of the home and community.

    • Serpentine on said:

      My comment isn’t about why black men date white women because I have no idea. Only black men who date white women would know the answer to that question. But in reference to your comment about the black lady dating a white man in the movie, and you question what is wrong with black men? How can men such as Taye Diggs / Terrence Howard play the role of a positive black role models in this movie (The Best Man Holiday), when in actuality, they both are/were married to women other than black, and there may be a few others that I just don’t know. That’s what I call hypocrissy. I’m not male bashing…I’m just asking.

      • I guess the same way as with the Black men who played in “Roots”, several were/are married to white women. Call it whatever you want but the bottom line is that it still seems to come from a place other than real love/compatibility, like a status symbol… People just want to call it whatever they feel comfortable with…

      • I said it. on said:

        The people who played in Roots are actors. They didn’t sign over their rights as humans, they were not claiming to hate white people, and they weren’t promise to keep an agenda of hatred toward a group of people, whom aren’t all bad. Also, people from all economic backgrounds date outside of their race, not just wealthy AA’s. Finally, what about the non-white men who are wealthy and date black women? Is that a problem, as well.

        ALL people should spend their time getting their own lives (personal, financial, and spiritual) in order and stop minding and analyzing the business of others.

  18. The good news is that if people are pathologically aligned, the relationship will likely fail. People date/mate cross culturally for many reasons — some of them based on love, some of them based on myth, rebellion, or some perceived gained in status (class, economic or political).Yes, some may even date outside their race because of some intra-racism. Again, eventually all relationships formed without love — are all doomed. People marry/date from the available pool/population around them. As an African American woman, I know that if I move to a town in Iowa, chances are I’m going to hook up with a white guy. If I have a college education, I’m more likely to date/marry someone else with a college education. The percentage of folks who out marry — in any race or ethnic group — is still very low. The media will make you think otherwise to drag you into race politics.

  19. justsaying on said:

    It’s all a bunch of crap! They don’t want a black woman because they may actually be forced to grow up and act like a man. Black men are with white women is because in some minds it’s still taboo… “the forbidden fruit.” Now that (though I wouldn’t put money on it) men are no longer lynched for looking a white woman in the eye and there are no legal ramifications –nothing more than simple rebellion run amuck.

  20. Timekeeper LOL thank you brother I appreciate that you use logic in your post and not emotion. Its funny that everyone questions why the Black man does what he does but they never ask him and if the answer he gives is not what they want to hear they say that’s not it. Black girls rock is more proof that the rift created by feminist is alive and well in our community. The whole Ms independent,strong black woman ideology did not come from a black woman but was given to them by a white female named Gloria Steinem . Black women need to come home brothers want you back but as yourself not as what the enemy told you to be.

  21. HIp Hop culture is the biggest culprit in elevating white women and light skin black women! I don’t know one hip hop superstar dating or married to a dark skin sister. Not one!

  22. Deegeejay on said:

    Dating outside your race is no crime. Date who you want but to put down Black women with made up excuses is unexecetable. I’ve dated white, Hispanic Asian, Blacks. Date who you want but keep your mouth shut.

  23. Lust, plus lack of self respect and self control make too many black men seek satisfaction outside the race. Add on the inferiority complex and these men find meaning in their lives by having a white chick on their arms. Of course they use love as an excuse, but you can’t hate yourself and love others genuinely. Too many black men need to grow up already.

  24. We always talk about celebs, or athletes that we see with white, or latino women. No offense but what about the brothers we see with a fat white, or latino woman, and sometimes the man is fat himself. I just look at them, and think to myself; good for them….if two fat people are happy with it each other so-beth…..because I’m not remotely attracted to fat men. So no lose there.

  25. There is no ONE REASON why Black men date outside their race; instead there are many many reasons. However I’m willing to bet that the ‘Forbidden Fruit’ issue is a big part of it. After all…. most of us desire things that we are told we can’t have. My observation is that I see Black Men dating other races; but I’ve never seen a Latino/Hispanic Male with a Black woman (well…maybe once). It probably has to do with the part of the country you live in. I wonder if Latino Male/Black Women dating is prevalent in California?

  26. Because White feminist tricked black women into picking up her cause and then she turned around and went back home to her husband and sons to be a good wife and mother. During the Black Power movement and the civil rights era black families were intact and that was a problem for the enemy. Now that they have pulled the female away from the male with the feminist rallying cry black families are almost destroyed beyond repair. Bottom line is this until black people come back to the natural way of a man under God woman under man child under mother which is really everyone under God we will continue to have a divided house.

    • the Timekeeper on said:

      You hit a homerun with that statement Aaron. So many fell for the white feminist movement. Then they went back to their Leave It To Beaver lives and took all of the picket fences with them!


  28. the age old question, but I don’t see anyone upset over these black honies hooking up with the white boys!!? plenty of actors and athlete’s picking up black sisters and throwing all kinds of $$$ at her. my take is men and women reserve the right to be with whomever they please ……… period!

  29. debbie on said:

    Who really cares who a black man dates, it’s their choice, all races have dated outside their race, black men may do it more.

  30. Cassius King on said:

    Interracial dating is less common than you think. It just focused upon more. In reality black men are more likely marry black women. It is the same that goes for homosexuals. They make a very small percentage of the population but a lot of people of color especially religious folks make it a focus in their lives. Why worry about who someone else is dating or sleeping with? It’s not hard enough trying to get your own personal relationship together than to spend time and energy on something that really does not affect you at the end of the day. This topic is tired and I wish we could focus more on the education, job creation and wealth building. These things impact everyone and have more substance than who’s banging whom.

  31. Claudia Colbert on said:

    claudia c
    no I won’t be there no matter what if you date a white women you don’t want me and I refuse to be anyones second best. Like I am not good enough.

  32. Charon H. on said:

    They date outside race b/c they lust after what they’re not suppose to have and because they have a choice. Mother’s telling their young black boys not to bring a white woman home is like waving a red flag in front of a bull. That’s the not suppose to have. Choice is a little bit easier. They can have a black women on their arm at any given time. B/c we are going to be there for our men no matter what…ex: physical, verbal abuse, cheat, lie, dog us out and we will still be there. And Ladies, they know this, so instead of marrying a black woman they seek anything but black. I say this b/c there are some sistah’s out there that look damn near white but instead of going for them they go straight Becky. It’s like we’re expendable. American black men will turn to black women when they’re in trouble, want to use us or want something from us. It a sad time but it my reality. And for the black men out there loving a black woman much love you. B/c your are a dying breed.

    • blackspeak on said:

      There is a lot of truth to what you say… Its pathological among many blacks to seek out that which hah been taboo for so long… There is also a fair amount of self hate for being born a black person…

      • black: You said there is a “fair amount of self hate for being born black.” Really….Seriously? I know I’m just one person; but never in my many years on earth HAVE I EVER heard a black person say they hate they were born black. Don’t get me wrong; I’m sure there are a (very small) amount of black people that feel that way……but I don’t think there are a lot of black people that feel that way. That’s like saying…..oh I hate myself because I wasn’t born rich. How ridiculous is that. Life is what it is. You’re born black….deal with it. You’re born poor, or not that well off…..deal with it.

  33. PrettyBlack on said:

    Love has no color, people fall in LOVE with whom they please. However, I agree that some black men date outside their race to SPITE black women. Even true, from my experience I was told by several black men that I was too black (dark) for them; is one reason they dated lighter skin or white women.

  34. As an African American woman, I have absolutely know problem with a black man dating or marrying a woman outside of their race, if he truly loves that woman, I think it’s wonderful. As people, we have know control over who we will fall in love with, that’s why, people, should never say, who they want date. Love, is a beautiful thing, it sounds cheesy, but it’s true. Now, the problem, I do have, is when black men date white women, thinking that they have arrived, or that they have conquered the ultimate prize, or because they are angry with black women for what ever reasons, and they hook up with some poor unsuspecting white woman, to get back at black women, in their attempt to make them jealous. Some times, when I’m out, and about, I may come across and interracial couple, and this stupid black guy is looking all around trying to make sure that every one sees that he’s with a white woman, the type of behavior is disgusting, and cruel, it’s very dangerous to play with some one emotions.

  35. You love who you love and that’s ok. My only issue is when you decide to date or marry outside your race and then you put black women down for whatever reason. Remember all the beautiful black women in your family that had something to do with raising you before you open your mouth and say something ignorant show some respect. Not to mention when you have a daughter by a white woman your child is now that black girl you are referring too.

  36. the Timekeeper on said:

    When BlackAmericaWeb posts something like this. You should already know they are realy starting some DOOKY that simply just not needs to begin. And as ususual too many have fallen for the okydoke and started malebashing from the get go. the enemy loves this sort of thing, because it widens the gap between our brothers and sisters. So, when you call a black man out of his name, do you really think this is going to help? No, but you are too busy slamming them to discern the consequences of this hate. Which, by the way, would make anyone walk in the Opposite Direction. When they started to promote Black Girls Rock, I knew in advance this Shiggidy was going to come on the back end of it. And yes, when I say Back end I do mean that one. Black girls do ROCK, but they cn do it without throwing broithers under the bus. It defeats the whole purpose. and like I said, blackamericaweb. they are as guilty as Sin for throiwng thisCrap out there and ruining what should be a femaie celebration. the Devil is busy though and too many by these posts have purchased it.and if you did by getting all huffy and mad then you PAID$$ Too much. Get a refund my getting on your knees and exoricse yourslf from this madness.

    • Wildflower on said:

      And you trashing a minority sounding board (blackamericaweb) is any different? Sometimes questions need to be asked. Dialog need to be held between us or would you be okay with it if it was Yahoo or some other non-minority driven we site? Don’t be afraid of sensitive questions and for godsake don’t shut down any forum that will get us to come together and try to understand what is exactly going on with our race.

      • Wild: THANK YOU SO MUCH because there is absolutely nothing wrong with discussing this issue. Dialogue is good. (Some) people just don’t like to deal with the hard issues.

    • the Timekeeper on said:

      On the contrary Wildflower. these questions Do Not need to be asked. Because we already know the answers and your reply is a perfect example of the viseral these questions erupt. As for brinnging people together, from what I am reading here, and again your reply s a good example. I would say , this is doing the exact opposiite. Drwaing peole further apart. vboth men and women are digging their heels in like Ted Cruz. And for Godsake you say. Please dont put God in it, becuase as I said he has nothing to do with this. This is completely the DEvils workshop

    • Time Keeper while you did acknowledge that “Black Girls DO ROCK” I’m baffled as to why you brought “Black Girls Rock” into the mix to begin with??!! In some ways it appears that you are suggesting that Black Girls (women) are responsible for Black male issues.

      • the Timekeeper on said:

        Hello Joy.
        Thank you for your reply. You mentioned that I suggest that women are responsible for black male problems. When did I say that? that is a figment of your imagination. and I am not surpruiised, becuase this is what happens when people get all tied up in knots over this kind of issue. Try again, becuase I never said that and quite frnaklt do not believe it. Yes, Black Girsl do Rock, but not at the expense of throwing brothers under the bus which is what this pile of Dung has done.

  37. Kilo Perkins on said:

    Could it be that these men are not self hating. Could it be that they are actually in love. Could it be that they actually listen to Dr. King when he said to judge someone by the content of their character and not the color of their skin. ……. Listen to yourselfs. You blast the KKK for spouting that whites should segregate and only love white people. Sadley you are no different. You have the same beliefs as the Ku Klux Klan. Congrates for bringing our people down to that level.

    • Wildflower on said:

      You can continue to look at your ethnicity in the negative or you can look at it as what it is, loving and support your own. No one is teaching hate but just asking a question that is obvious to not only the black race but to others as well.How dare you compare the black race to the KKK. That alone say a whole lot about your lack of love for who you are.

      • keebee51 on said:

        Good reply. People in their right mind know it’s an insult to be compared to kkk but true idiots just don’t understand that.

  38. blackspeak on said:

    Blacks, collectively have been so indoctrinated to believe the white is always better than black. From the days of slavery, when black women were raped by their white masters, to produce mulatto offspring, who lived in the “big house” with “massa”, blacks have longed to live in the big house, or at least, have want was in the big house… For some black women, its the white man. For some black men its the white or mulatto woman… Black is bad… White is good… This is the mastery and insidious residue of the social material system of white supremacy…

  39. BlackBeauty on said:

    Awww folks!

    Please leave this alone!

    People date/marry whom they want. Why do some of you feel that if a black man is with a non black woman he has to hate himself, his race, or is a sell- out? That is pure crap!
    Some of you black females need to be the person ( have the qualities) that you all say you are looking for in a man, no matter what race/color he is. Work on being a woman that any man would want to be with.
    If a black man dates white/other race women, so what?
    Move on and leave others alone!!

    • Wildflower on said:

      If we leave this alone can we talk about why we are so derogatory towards single mothers and practically ignore the other half to that equation? Why are we so afraid to address the issues that are destroying and keeping our race down? I never see blacks on the non-minority driven websites commenting and trying to shut down them down. Why? Is it okay for Mr. Charlie to pose these questions?

  40. You love who you love, I’m ok with that but when you put black women in the category of we’re all loud and have neck rolling attitudes, that’s wrong but you’ll let a woman curse you out in another language because it’s so sexy. Just say, I date white, that’s what I want, don’t put an excuse to it.

  41. I was raised in a diverse mixed society and taught to respect and accept people of all races and situations not matter if they were handicapped or had disorders. I was color blinded when it came to relations and I’ve dated black, hispanic and white. It’s the person under the shell that represents the attraction I’m in too and it’s not the race that enhances what a women is it’s her mind and power of the love that thrives a man. I think women and men should date who they choose fit. If I see an interracial couple together I say “nice” they must be into each other or love each other. Love is what life is about for all of us so appreciate that those two people have that. If you don’t currently have any love going right now then do something about it. I’m currently in involved with a black woman because her soul is genuine and beautiful and she provides great loving. If she was white I would see her in the same way.

  42. Sexxycynt on said:

    Because they are the ones that are NOT blessed and you no where. Besides they get the ones that are thrown away by the white guys

  43. Cat Daddy on said:

    Are black males raised in single black female headed households currently being subconsciously conditioned to not respect other black females?

    • I said it. on said:

      Possibly, but people date who they want. Also, I hope that people who are complaining wouldn’t just date someone because they are black. I would like to know if the people who complain about this feel that we were all created by God.

    • Cat Daddy: Uuuum. That’s definitely something to ponder I think that the LACK OF marriage (on a wide scale) in the Black community definitely has some baring on the family structure, and Black men wanting to get married. Generally speaking if a male, or female comes from a family with examples of long marriages….they usually go down that same path (and stick with committed relationships, and go into marriage). On the other hand (sometimes) if one has only dealt with baby mama…..no committed male syndrome…..then they tend to go down that path as well.

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