Huggy Lowdown presents this week's "Bama of the Week" and we think most people will not be surprised by the choice even though Huggy has a whopping 16 nominations!
TOM JOYNER: And now it’s time for the Celebrity Snitch, Huggy Lowdown. HUGGY!!!
HUGGY: Well, what’s the deal, Pickles? Is everything kosher?
TOM JOYNER: Yeah, Huggy, everything’s kosher.
HUGGY: Tom Joyner.
TOM JOYNER: Huggy Lowdown.
HUGGY: Sybil Wilkes?
SYBIL WILKES : Happy Friday, Hug.
HUGGY: And Jay Anthony Brown.
J. ANTHONY BROWN : What up, Hug?
HUGGY: Is George Wallace in the building?
GEORGE WALLACE : Yes, I’m in the building. I’m on the first floor. They won’t let me come on stage.
HUGGY: Well, where’s your mama?
GEORGE WALLACE : With your mama, they’re on the same corner.
HUGGY: I know that’s wrong.
GEORGE WALLACE : Your mamma been working for a long time.
HUGGY: How you doing, George? Y’all know George is Mitt Romney’s speechwriter, right? No wonder they didn’t let your ass up on that elevator. Happy first Friday of another four years of President Obama and Joe Biden on the one’s and two’s! Speaking of ones and twos Tom and Sybil are contenders one and two on my list this week.
SYBIL WILKES : Oh, come on.
HUGGY: For the bullshigity stuff they pulled yesterday. Oh, yeah, you remember Jay?
J. ANTHONY BROWN : Yes, I do.
HUGGY: Yeah, the Big Bird colored brother and woman in the binder showed up for work late. Well Jay Anthony Brown held it down. They have the same shigity that broke up Shalimar, you know that, don’t you? I mean you were in the studio earlier with Howard Hewitt and Jodi Watley not only show up for work late but Bob the Builder and Frieda Fixit blamed it on construction. What the function? Next time you lie read Jay’s lying manual instructions, okay?
Contender number three, Donald Trump, A.K.A. Toupee fiasco, A.K.A., Dumb Donald, A.K.A. Sideshow Bob, A.K.A., the Multi-Millionaire Moron whose name is synonymous with wealth is nothing more than a media strumpet known for saying dumb shigity out of his mouth now. Now, this asinine nitwit had a hissy fit on Twitter when President Obama won the election. He was saying shigity that would get a coworker punched in the mouth at the water cooler. And everything he was tweeting about President Obama, saying like it applied to his head didn’t it? He said a total shame and travesty, looks like his hair. Back to the drawing board. Mm-hmm. Hairdresser. Mm-hmm. The world is laughing at your hair. Now get off President Obama’s long form. Sybil. Sybil, who is saying a fool and his money need to shut the F up, okay? Contender number four, Jermaine Jackson.
Did y’all hear about the greasiest Jackson brother, Jermaine?
And what he did? He changed his last name from Jackson to Jacksun.
Jacksun. Y’all heard right. He went to change his name from J-A-C-K-S-O-N, to J-A-C-K-S-U-N. Jackson to Jacksun. He said it was for artistic reasons. I say artistic must be his baby’s mother’s name. Because he doing the old change your last name which is on page 16 of hundred ways to dodge child support handbook by our very own J. Anthony Brown. Oh, yeah, before Jay spelled his last name B-R-O-W-N-, it was B-R-O-U-N-D. This is some old shigity right here.
Contender number five, Karl Rove. The Republican Strategist had a meltdown on election night when President Obama won Ohio. He couldn’t believe it. Now the GOP is mad because he spent like, what, $400 million on republican aids. Do you remember that? Republicans are mad. You know it’s bad when the white man are mad at the white man. All that money they spent, just – Sybil, just think of this – all this money they spent they only got one Republican one, maybe one? Sybil, that’s like you give me some money to go buy a carton of cigarettes and I come back with a CIGARETTE BUTT! He messed up that money so bad I heard Karl Rove changed his name to Bernie Madoff.
Contender six, fifteen or sixteen, Herman Caine, Michael Steele, Jimmy Walker, Clarence Thomas, Talbus Maley, Corneil West, Alan West, Stacey Dash, Tom Legitimate Rape Aiken, Richard God’s Will Murdock and J.J. Jimmy Walker for the white people, and J.J. for the black people, you heard me, all you haters, get over it.
Tom, Sybil, Jay, it gives me great pleasure to say this. This is the last time I’m going to say this name. Mitt Romney, YOU ARE THE BAMA OF THE WEEK, WEEK, WEEK. I’m sorry I only had one speech prepared.