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Russ Parr Horrorscopes

Source: Reach Media / Reach Media

 

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It’s time for another reading of the “Daily Horrorscope,” where Georgia Alfredas keeps it real by telling every astrological sign the harsh truth about themselves for today’s date of October 27th, 2022.

 

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Aries: If a man sent you an invoice for your portion of the dinner tab, a second date is just not gonna be an option.

Taurus: Wearing an angry t-shirt on a job interview will keep you unemployed.

Gemini: You already have a big butt. Why are you trying to get implants?

Cancer: Stop complimenting people’s unattractive makeovers.

Leo: If you’re renting a room to a known crackhead, remember it starts with missing loose change out of your purse.

Virgo: Your African neighbor thinks you are lazy and unmotivated. He drives for a limo service, a taxi company Lyft and Uber using a 1973 Ford Pinto with 750,000 miles on it yet you don’t work.

Libra: If the measure of gauging how much you drank last night at a club is by how much of your outfit you have on wake up in the morning, intervention may be a consideration for you.

Scorpio: If you’re on your first date, and she’s making excuses for her kids already, it’s not too late to change your intentions.

Sagittarius: Went on a date with a new man and you tell them you’re not wearing any panties. You know damn, well you ain’t being sexy. The fact of the matter is you ain’t had no clean pair to wear.

Capricorn: Went on a job interview telling the interviewer that he’s got his facts wrong. That’s gonna keep you on employed.

Aquarius: Never get into a public fistfight in front of your kids unless you really know how to fight you know you can win.

Pisces: When bragging about your employment situation where you used to work doesn’t count.