It’s time for another reading of the “Daily Horrorscope,” where Georgia Alfredas keeps it real by telling every astrological sign the harsh truth about themselves for today’s date of July 28th, 2022.
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Aries: You know you getting old when you tell your kids, you’re gonna spank them when you get home and you forget.
Taurus: You hate your DVR cable box, because you can’t use my show is coming on tonight to get out of sex.
Gemini: Remember, a pharmacist is not a doctor. You can be up there putting your leg up there and showing them stuff.
Cancer: It’s getting bad when the police are calling the police on you.
Leo: Your outfit at the commander’s training camp might be a little over the top if the hookers on the field think you look slutty
Virgo: Your daughter cannot believe how calm you are. When she goes on her first day. You’re so relaxed. She has no idea that you got three tracking devices planted on her.
Libra: When visiting college campuses, moms try to remember it’s not where you want them to go to school. They want to go to school.
Scorpio: When trying to buy a new car, there is really no need for the myriad of excuses for why your credit low is so low.
Sagittarius: Remember, when a University prepares you up with a roommate that shares your common interest they’re really just guessing
Capricorn: You just got to turn around talker Uber driver, asked to be let out.
Aquarius: Stop asking to borrow obscure amounts of money from people.
Pisces: If you’re giving people wrong information on purpose, you shouldn’t have ever taken that job at the Department of Motor Vehicles.
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