NeNe Leakes opened up about being her husband’s caretaker as he battles stage 3 colon cancer.

In a new video titled “Nene Leakes: My Thoughts and Opinions…Ladies Night Comedy Tour!” — which she posted Sunday on her Life of Nene YouTube account, Leakes questioned if Gregg’s illness is “payback” for all the times he cheated on her, PEOPLE reports.

“There’s a lot of things that go through your head,” NeNe says in the clip. “And people don’t know that. I want to show some love to all the caretakers because what goes through your head is — I’m just saying this for real, please don’t put this against me. I’m just saying this for real.”

“As a caretaker, you start — it depends on where your relationship is. You look at the person and think about, you know people love to say, ‘Karma is a bitch’ and karma this and karma that. Honest to God, I’m giving y’all the raw, raw, raw. You look at the person and be like, ‘What is that?’ Now, that ain’t right, right? But you’re human,” she said.

Hear Nene break it down via the clip above.

10 Celebrities Who’ve Battled Cancer
10 photos