Often when we are going through difficult situations we spend so much time focusing on the painful details that we deprive ourselves of anything that actually feels good. Naturally, focusing on all of the painful pieces takes our energy down into the dumps. Train yourself that when things get really intense you’ll make your mantra ‘more pleasure. more pleasure. more pleasure’. What are some things that make you feel good? Do you love going dancing? What about hanging with good friends? Devouring a good book? Baking? Going to the beach? Self- pleasure? Make a list of the things that you truly enjoy and make sure that you are doing something on that list everyday.
Let it all out. Stop Hanging On.
Your stories matter. The things that have shaped you into the person that you are today matter. Get a journal or maybe even video record yourself on your phone just talking through the experiences that you have had. This is just for you. If you can get it on paper or on camera you can get it out of the body. Dedicate 10-15 minutes just for this practice and watch how pouring your heart out will make a huge shift. Not just in your private time do I want you to let it out, but in real life I want you to do this as well . We have a habit for saying ‘I’m fine’ when we are really falling apart. You may not feel comfortable telling everyone what’s going with you but try practicing when people ask you how you’re feeling or doing today telling the truth. Instead of “I’m fine” perhaps, “Hey. I’m feeling a bit tense today. Thank you for asking.” This simple statement puts us in a position to welcome support and also create a space for mutual honesty within all of our interpersonal relationships.
Create a new vision.
Finally, it may seem wacky to want to envision your life without your most recent partner but allowing yourself to think about what you want will continuously bring you back into your power. You can even do this during your dedicated time with step four above. Write down where you see your life in nine months. How do you want to feel? What are you wearing? How does your life feel overall? What things have changed? Now after you’ve answered those questions I want you to talk about how your next relationship feels. How do you all act together? How do you all support each other as a couple? How do you all connect? Fill these details in day by day. Dream as wild as you desire. Each day read over that vision for yourself. When you create the new vision and stop looking back at the past as a reference for what’s possible you open doors for life to happen.
The terms sexy and heartbreak don’t usually go together but in my work as an erotic dance coach I tell my clients that your sexy is your joy, your peace, your vibrancy, your excitement for life, your ability to be grounded, your faith, your power. Your sexy is all of those things combined. These are the things that help us make the best of life. And when a woman is truly committed to walking in her sexiness she is an unstoppable force in life.
If this message resonates with you I would love to have you join me for my ‘Reclaiming Your Sexy’ live workshop tour. This is a half day erotic dance workshop experience designed to help women truly get back in their power and reclaiming their authority to have the best the life has to offer. Click here to see full details and register.
Reclaiming Your Sexy After The Heartbreak was originally published on blackdoctor.org
