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As my heart skips a beat about all the drama coming my way now that Scandal is back and my girlfriend (in my head) Olivia Pope is is once again being her smart, fabulous, three-dimensional, complicated self; it suddenly occurred to me that I was thinking of her as my girl, but where in the world are her girlfriends?

I’ve rolled with plenty of high-profile divas, including ones on Capitol Hill. Regardless of how busy they are, or how many fires they had to put out, they always found time to debrief and let their hair down long enough to catch up with their girls. They all understood that girlfriend bonding time is as necessary as air and water.

So I decided to record a message to my GFIMH Olivia. Here’s the transcript:

Olivia, I’ve just figured out that you don’t have any girlfriends and I think that’s a scandal in itself. Girl, you need you the kind of girlfriends that can tell you like it really is, who have your back, cry with you, pray with you and take you through. Now luckily for you, I’m all of those. But let me give you a head up on the kind of girls you need to have close. First of all, you need your ride-or-die girlfriend. She’s the one that can flow with you from the house party to the White House, ok? She knows how to keep it real and 100. She’s classy and, if need be, hood, at the appropriate times. Second, you need a prayer partner ‘cause honey, your life is what, a hot mess. You need somebody who’s not gonna be judgmental but can pray you through because I, for one, am also repeat relationship offender. I’ve made a mess of relationships enough to know that it’s hard to get out of some soul–tie situations.

That can only come through fasting and praying, honey. And when you can’t pray for yourself, you need somebody to pray for you, you need somebody to pray with you, and somebody to empower you to pray for yourself. Trust me. Prayer works and God really, really will deliver you. Third, you need a mentor. You need somebody who’s been there, done that, who’s even higher on the scale than you are. Now, I know you are the end-all-be-all, but you are not everything. Even a physician needs a doctor, because he cannot heal himself. So you’ve got to have a mentor who can just coach you through the process.

When all else fails, girl, there’s always therapy. As a matter of fact, even if everything else works, you still need to get some therapy, ‘cause your stuff is what? Deep and seated. Your mama and daddy issues alone are gonna take some time. Now that we’ve established all of that, I’ve got to say ‘Kudos’ because you are the truth. I love seeing you every week. We have a standing appointment. Sometimes, I even find myself talking to you via the TV. And the fashion that you’re giving is everything. I’m still going through it about that white coat!

Since we’re friends now, can I borrow it? I don’t like to wearing other folks’ clothes, but that right there! I’m gonna need you to hook me up. Alright? As for the hair it’s time for a new look, Olivia. It’s a little too bouffant Diahann Carroll-ish, You’re just too young for it. I really want you to get some layers. I want you to soften it up a little bit, because you you do need to attract a different kind of man. Hello? Have you seen Michelle Obama? Fly, thank you very much. She has layers. I’m also suggesting that you add more color to your life.

When you’re having a rough day, and let’s face it, that’s almost every day on “Scandal,” you need some color in your life. Fun colors. Warm colors. Bright colors. They make you feel better. They make you look better. And even when your life is not that bright, you can look in the mirror and you can see brightness reflected in your color choices.

I’m your girl, Deya and you know I just got to be direct! Girl, you know I done said something. Call me, Olivia! I’m right here for you ‘cause it’s a Scandal that you don’t have a girlfriend. But I’m here. It’s gonna work out!

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Deya “Direct” Smith is a lead producer on the Tom Joyner Morning Show and host of Girlfriend FM & Beyond the Studio celebrity interviews. She is also the best-selling author of “Touch Yourself, 30 Ways to Live, Love and Let Go!( Deya is a life-changing coach, writer and speaker. If you have a question about life, love or relationships, email

6 thoughts on “DEYA DIRECT: It’s Scandal-lous that Olivia Pope Doesn’t Have Girlfriends!

  1. Seriously on said:

    Deya, you sound like you need some mental health therapy. You also sound jealous of Olivia…job and lifestyle. Since you have criticized her clothes, hair, relationship and threw is your own diagnoses. Which is why the women on this blog has declined. They know what is coming next from “girlfriends like you:, cannot be Olivia or have what she have so you will try and tear it down. We are not all from the hood, ride n die hood does not equal classy. Just like I will pray for you does not means your are a Christian,,,,you know the judge not part of it. Fixers do not need mentors ( I thought that was for children), they need connections of people who can make things happens. I would suggest to any women never befriend someone who cannot respect you as are, never befriend one who cannot say congratulations, your doing good, own your craft. And never limp in front of the lame and consider it a favor. Because if all she has to offer is what you are not doing right, she is trying to bring you to her level…Watch out for Deya and em.

  2. I am almost 50 and I don’t have many girlfriends and I love it that way. When I was in my 20s I had a lot and they brought a lot of drama with them. I have two real friends and two sisters who are better than girlfriends. I would rather have one really good girlfriend than have a lot of women in my life. I am very successful also and I find women to be catty and don’t like to be around a lot of them. I am happy and at peace.

  3. I am 30 and don’t many girlfriends. I keep a small circle and I like it that way. There are so many people that can’t stand when you are successful and I have decided to pick people who love and support you, regardless of what level you are on. It has definitely worked for me.

  4. msyellarose on said:

    True girlfriends may have been nice to have, but I can’t see it in my lifetime. Your same “girls” who supposedly have your back will just as quickly talk about you behind it should you receive or achieve something they wish they could have, or stab you in it to get it. Lost count of the ones who turned their backs ON me when I really needed a friend. I think I’ll pass on this one Deya.

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