Solving the Problem

Faking an orgasm every once in a while might not be a big deal, but if it’s happening on a regular basis, it may be time to get some help. Here are some ideas:

Talk to your doctor.There are a number of medical conditions that can cause delayed orgasm, premature ejaculation, or difficulty maintaining an erection. But according to Dr. Niederberger, delayed orgasm is something of a subjective measure. “Is it 10 minutes? Or 20 minutes? It’s really up to the man and, of course, his partner,” he says. Bottom line: If it is taking you longer to reach orgasm than you or your partner would like, it’s okay to ask for help.

Talk to a therapist. Occasionally, faking orgasms is rooted in emotional issues. You might need a couples therapist or sex therapist to help you understand why you are having difficulty experiencing an authentic orgasm with your partner.

Masturbate. Self-stimulation is recommended to help you discover what stimulates you. Next, share this information with your partner.

Cut back on alcohol or illicit drugs. Men are more likely to fake an orgasm when under the influence, likely due to the fact that substance abuse affects sexual performance.

There’s no need to fake it. Instead, get to the root of the problem — it will lead to a more satisfying sex life for both you and your partner.

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