This is Chris Paul from the TJMS running through the top stories in roughly sixty seconds with The Morning Minute.
Today is Tax Day, so I’m giving you sixty seconds worth of my personal tax tips:
Men under five feet tall must fill out the IRS short form.
If you own a liquor store then you can claim Bobby Brown or Lindsay Lohan as a dependent.
Couples who smoke marijuana together are required to fill out a joint return.
There are new tax breaks for single people. Single women can now deduct the cost of any new outfit purchased for a date they were stood up for. And single men can now deduct the cost of any dinner date that did not get them the draws.
Men who masturbate must claim all personal withholdings.
Women who have an extra-large lady part can deduct five percent because they have a big loophole.
And my last tip, if Wesley Snipes tries to give you tax advice, run the hell away.