Well, it seems to be that time again. My first and not so subtle clue was the mandate by my 9 year old to find non-mushy cups and napkins for the Valentine’s Day party at school. And then add to that the amount of red roses and boxes of chocolate that seem to be everywhere you turn, yes, the day to celebrate true love by wining, dining and spending a truckload on Hallmark cards has snuck up on me again. Dammit.
So while I am negotiating a sea of V-Day slackers (myself included) at Walmart trying to live up to my son’s expectations, I took note of a few things. Not only were people buying cards …. they were buying Condoms.
(Slap your forehead one time just like I did)
I mean not only is this the one day where you are supposed to show the one that you love just how much they really mean to you, it is also one of the very, very few days where you should pretty much be GUARANTEED relations.
(The only others are your birthday, anniversary and first night of a vacation that costs at least $4,000)
So. . . we Americans are taking advantage.
(I hope you’re laughing with me at this point!)
Yes, I took a very liberal turn when I decided to write this post. AND the fact that it is National Condom Week had absolutely NOTHING to do with it.
But it did help me uncover a few VERY interesting facts.
According to the makers of LifeStyles condoms, today, across the country, we’ll burn through 87 condoms PER SECOND.
That’s a HECK of a lot of relations.
Here’s how they figured it out. 27% of women, 18 and over, say they’re going to be having relations today and 20% of those will use a condoms.
Then, they assume that for every five women, there are six condoms used. . . ’cause someone has relations twice. . . or the first condom is useless because the guy messes up in the dark and does something like accidentally putting it on inside-out.
Based on those numbers, Americans will use 7,516,800 total condoms today. . . or an average of 87 per second.
That also works out to 313,200 condoms per hour or 5,220 condoms per minute.
And, if you unrolled all of those condoms all the way and laid them end to end, they’d stretch more than 830 miles or just a little less than the distance you’d have to drive if, say, you were a psychotic astronaut traveling from Houston to Orlando wearing a diaper. (that’s for you K.O)
Combine that with the fact that 188 MILLION is the magic number of Valentine cards that will be exchanged today. . . and that’s not even counting the packaged kids’ cards ….
my next venture …..
The C & C Factory ….
Yep, you got it ….
Cards and Condoms baby!
Cards and Condoms!
Happy Valentine’s Day!
I am really not Anti-Valentine’s Day! I just recognize the importance of showing those you love (including yourself) how much you care every single day. So Valentine’s Day for me isn’t that big of a deal. Even better is when you find someone who feels the exact same way. But that vase full of a dozen roses sure does look pretty sitting there on my nightstand.
Also On Black America Web:
This Week’s Celebrity Instagrams (11/26-12/2)
30 photos Launch gallery
1. Little Legend and Puddy 😍😍😍😍
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2. "You on point Phife?" "all the time,Tip". 💥 #bannedfromnormal
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3. Vegan! The Impossible burger at Crossroads
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4. Lawrence #BeforeandAfterEpisodes 1-4: 184lbs 13% body fatEpisode 8: 196lbs 8% body fat S/O @coachdaveboxing with the works outs and @kildareriordan with the nutrition
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5. Jus haaaanngin out
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6. Meanwhile back at home in Atlanta GA someone mad they not on the 🛳. 😳
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7. No limits... Photo cred: Chris Bridges @ludacris
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8. new new
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9. Apparently my 260lbs is too much for the actual vines in the Hawaiian jungles to hold me without breaking and me falling hundreds of feet. So for safety purposes, I'm forced to swing thru #Jumanjj on wires strong enough to hold 12 adult buffaloes and 1 adult Rock. #OnSet #Jumanji #IronicallyIEatBuffaloDailyForLunch #MoreManThanNatureKnowsWhatToDoWith
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10. hey ma! 🎎#wcw 💙
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11. Surprise visit to our factories!!! #GoodAmerican #USA
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13. Peachy Keen 🔥✨⚡️
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14. If this don't look thankful I don't know what does. Happy Thanksgiving to you and yours. #UltraBlessed #24kMagic #SweetPotatoFly
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15. Late nights @nbcmarlon with the writers... we in here!!!
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16. There goes my baaaaaaaaabbbbyyyyy #QueenKingMagic!!! We're up to something! Ira BIG!!! Stay out our buisness -
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17. You want to win every game you play but when you come home to these faces... who cares. #ILoveYouGirls best part of my day, everyday!
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18. Steady,steady..... full size jenga.. "I got this one "???? Or do I ?
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19. Cornrows kind of day 😉@dontaysavoy2 you convinced me and I love. ❤️️
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20. #BrotherlyLove #tbt
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22. #basel #TeamLOVE @kingcombs
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23. Just introduced a special screening of @directher 's groundbreaking (must see) documentary @13thfilm with my brother @themichaelealy | @unitedblackout #blackoutblackfriday
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24. Me & Vanessa Williams giving #DuckLips #Pose on the set of #DaytimeDivas @vh1 - Coming Soon to a tv near you. Lol. - My make up done by @makeupsurgeon
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25. This picture just makes me wanna praise the Lord, you hear me!!!!!! Yes Lord brotha #TEDDYCAMPBELL What a #man !!! You are everything right on this picture husband ......... #gorgeous #stylish #classy #strong #masculine #king #sexy #debonair #gentlemenstyle And that #bible in your hand just seals the deal for me (probably cause i know that, that is what helped you become just as amazing as you look😘). While my heart and mind experiences the goodness of God at #church on Sundays, my eyes experiences the goodness of Teddy😍. Amen somebody🙌🏽. "Bless the Lord oh my soul and all that is within me bless his holy name" #myman #myhusband #goodman #blackman #dapperman #godlyman #goodfather #mybestfriend
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26. Yesterday was my mama's 53rd birthday!!!!! Got to celebrate with her all day. If this is what I have to look forward to I can't wait. Looking like a soft bucket a cocoa butter. Yaaaaaaaaaas! 😍😍😍 love you mommy!
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27. "Shout out to @PureAtlanta for getting the family right"....I'm loving this jogger. 😍😍
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28. This pic warms my heart ❤️ #myLogiebeans and aunt aunt umba @itowandabraxton 😘
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29. You will always be my baby😜. #HappyBirthdayReginae #mybaby18
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30. GC "Gods Child" Red on Red SweatSuit available now at www.MonicaApparel.com ... Take Your Crown wherever you go!! I'm pictured in a Medium... Go to the site now for other options ... cc: @trukernell
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