Well, it seems to be that time again. My first and not so subtle clue was the mandate by my 9 year old to find non-mushy cups and napkins for the Valentine’s Day party at school. And then add to that the amount of red roses and boxes of chocolate that seem to be everywhere you turn, yes, the day to celebrate true love by wining, dining and spending a truckload on Hallmark cards has snuck up on me again. Dammit.
So while I am negotiating a sea of V-Day slackers (myself included) at Walmart trying to live up to my son’s expectations, I took note of a few things. Not only were people buying cards …. they were buying Condoms.
(Slap your forehead one time just like I did)
I mean not only is this the one day where you are supposed to show the one that you love just how much they really mean to you, it is also one of the very, very few days where you should pretty much be GUARANTEED relations.
(The only others are your birthday, anniversary and first night of a vacation that costs at least $4,000)
So. . . we Americans are taking advantage.
(I hope you’re laughing with me at this point!)
Yes, I took a very liberal turn when I decided to write this post. AND the fact that it is National Condom Week had absolutely NOTHING to do with it.
But it did help me uncover a few VERY interesting facts.
According to the makers of LifeStyles condoms, today, across the country, we’ll burn through 87 condoms PER SECOND.
That’s a HECK of a lot of relations.
Here’s how they figured it out. 27% of women, 18 and over, say they’re going to be having relations today and 20% of those will use a condoms.
Then, they assume that for every five women, there are six condoms used. . . ’cause someone has relations twice. . . or the first condom is useless because the guy messes up in the dark and does something like accidentally putting it on inside-out.
Based on those numbers, Americans will use 7,516,800 total condoms today. . . or an average of 87 per second.
That also works out to 313,200 condoms per hour or 5,220 condoms per minute.
And, if you unrolled all of those condoms all the way and laid them end to end, they’d stretch more than 830 miles or just a little less than the distance you’d have to drive if, say, you were a psychotic astronaut traveling from Houston to Orlando wearing a diaper. (that’s for you K.O)
Combine that with the fact that 188 MILLION is the magic number of Valentine cards that will be exchanged today. . . and that’s not even counting the packaged kids’ cards ….
my next venture …..
The C & C Factory ….
Yep, you got it ….
Cards and Condoms baby!
Cards and Condoms!
Happy Valentine’s Day!
I am really not Anti-Valentine’s Day! I just recognize the importance of showing those you love (including yourself) how much you care every single day. So Valentine’s Day for me isn’t that big of a deal. Even better is when you find someone who feels the exact same way. But that vase full of a dozen roses sure does look pretty sitting there on my nightstand.
Also On Black America Web:
This Week’s Celebrity Instagrams (10/15-10/21)
31 photos Launch gallery
1. Just a NY girl with BIG dreams....
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2. HAPPY CHILDREN=QUALITY PARENTING. We don't always see eye to eye on everything and that's normal. We're human beings. But we come together and do it right for what's important, the kids. We are not enemies, we are parents. And we are parents 1st. S/O to @monyettashaw for making Mason's bday memorable. S/O to @itscrystalsmith at home taking care of our other lil' Prince. ❤️❤️❤️ THIS IS WHAT CO-PARENTING LOOKS LIKE. #Blessed #Happy #AboveTheDrama #BiggerThanUs
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3. So happy to finally be able to share with you all that I’m the new Global Brand Ambassador for @Revlon! Follow my day on RevlonSnaps. Yay! Choose Love, Everybody! #RevlonXCiara #chooselove #ad
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4. Glam on point!!!@makeupbymotoko & @shaylinjoneshair #easybreezy @lifetimetv #beachesmovie #january2017 😘
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5. ✨True love ✨📸: @jessiemarrerophotography
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7. Today was not easy..but by the grace of God we all got through it. Words cannot express our gratitude for all of your Prayers, Positive thoughts and Support for us throughout the years. Tommy will be missed but most certainly never forgotten...And PLEASE don't ask "Where's Martin?.." he was there too...just not in this picture. Lol! God bless you all.. #LoveConquersAll #MartinShow
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9. West coast get ready for #RockyHorror. I will be live tweeting again. #letsdothetimewarpagain
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10. #THEKEYS pre order yours now ... Available everywhere #NOV22 #WeTheBest 🔑🔑🔑🔑🔑🔑🔑🔑🔑🔑🔑🔑🔑🔑🔑🔑🔑🔑🔑🔑
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11. We about to ROCK at #KCABlackBall!! All for our life-changing effort to end 🌎 AIDS.
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12. Today's #SNAPJACK is brought to you by @yazzthegreatest 😂😂😂💋💋💋
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13. Damn girl you kinda old to be headed to the Go Go. You coming in at the age they leaving. LMAO
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14. Daddy daycare B-Boxin with @acewellstucker @shopraisingace
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15. #FBF Naviyd & URV "LIL MONSTERS"
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16. HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ONE OF THE BIGGEST LEGENDS IN OUR HIPHOP HISTORY! @snoopdogg CONTINUED BLESSING AND LOVE FAMILY!!!!! REAL OG!
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17. Thank you for a beautiful night VSU! Let's do it again! #HOMECOMING
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18. Had a great time this morning with my familia Erica, Griff & Truth!!
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19. Check out my interview on @essence facebook live. #inmyownwords #nycpromo #day2
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20. #She💋 #tbt #TheCoveAtTheAtlantis #DawgPawsAndAll
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21. Bae #retailtherapy
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22. Why me and @coryhardrict got the same pose... and notee... new mouth #naked
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23. When my husband is my personal 'hype-man'! it kills me every time! 💜😂 #WHATNOW #lostfiles📷
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24. Diggy Simmons
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25. Hand full of @jacquieaiche 💙💎💍 @esnail_la 💅🏾
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26. SuperSoulers! You can watch my interview with Carl Lentz live from my Facebook page, tomorrow at 11a ET| 8a PT. #SuperSoulSunday
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27. 💋 .. When the friendship is easy like Sunday morning. ☀️
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28. Sunday mornings are the best........... hugs and cuddles with my angel
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29. #huggar16 #hellohuggars
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30. My gym is everywhere!.. #RnBMoney #TheGeneral 📸: @twelvepastseven
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31. Nothing I would rather be doing... Rocko setting up our movie, Romelō working on a puzzle & Laiyah singing and sharing all she's learning at school... I'm so grateful for the joy they've brought into my life ... Praying for peace , joy & love in the home of EVERY family ♥️ #HeadScarfPJSunday LOL 😂
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