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Unless you’ve been hiding under a rock, then like the rest of us you’ve heard about award-winning gospel singer Kim Burell’s anti-homosexual sermon and subsequent mea culpa. It’s blowing up in her face all over social media and has potentially destroyed her career and mainstream crossover in the entertainment industry.

Beyond this story, the truth is that we all have said things we didn’t mean and wish we could recant. We have all said something the wrong way, at the wrong time or place, and to the wrong person, right?

If one of your new year resolutions is to be a better communicator, and you’re ready to take your approach to the next level, here are three hard learned tips and tools that I use and that you too can implement into your communication toolbox:

Soft Power Helps You to Think Before Speak (In the Name of Love)

Soft is the New Power is a book that’s equipping women and also men to become more savvy, intentional, and strategic communicators both personally and professionally by doing the following:

  1. Be intentional vs. emotional. As a wise person once said, just because you think it, doesn’t mean that you should actually say it out loud. So, before you say a word, ask yourself what are my intentions (your ultimate goal), what am I saying, how am I saying it and why am I saying it?
  1. Knowing your audience. Who are you talking to and how do they identify with your message?  If you’re talking to vegetarians, starting off your conversation about that juicy steak you had last night may not be the best approach.
  1. Think about the big picture. If you want to have a peaceful evening with your boo, is it more important to win the battle of having the last word; or to win the war on love in your heart and home? Make wise decisions about your approach based upon what you want and need the most.

Bottom line, words matter. They can work for you or against you and I.  We are judged and defined by how we communicate. Since we must be accountable for what we say, we should make sure that we are saying what we really mean verbally, nonverbally, and on social media.

About Author:

Amazon’s Bestselling author and multimedia personality, Deya ‘Direct’ Smith is the author of Soft is the New Power, Embracing Your Feminine Edge to Win in Love & Life.

A former Miss Black USA, now known as the ‘Man Whisperer’, Deya ‘Direct’ Smith is the Lead Producer for the Tom Joyner Show, a Relationship & Lifestyle Expert who writes and creates spiritual, social, self-help, and relationship content.

Soft is the New Power is available on, Barnes and and more:

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