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Jacque Reid goes Inside Her Story with Demetria Lucas D’oyley, the author of Don’t Waste Your Pretty. The two talk about Lucas-D’oyley’s latest article that warns women to stop taking advice from sexist relationship experts.

“There was a clip that went viral where Amber Rose had to explain sexual consent to Rev. Run and Tyrese, who acted like they didn’t know.”

She also says that in the same way men don’t want to be judged by police, women don’t want to either.

“Guys don’t want to be harassed by police based on the way they dress, but they turn around and tell women you ought to dress how you want to be addressed.”

Click the link above to hear the entire interview.

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9 thoughts on “Demetria Lucas-D’oyley Says Women Should Stop Taking Advice From Sexist Experts

  1. Tone on said:

    I believe these men mainly give this advice in order to help women see what other men want to see in a women. A judgement based in love (also in order from them to get paid). Woman’s lib is best used for equality in the workplace or access to opportunities not usually given to women. It becomes gray when it’s used for “i want to dress overly sexy or i want to be promiscuous. I love my sistas and want the best for them. But i guess I’m just sexist too.

  2. Jdubb on said:

    A lot of the “advice” given is Sexist. We live in a rape culture and where people are sexualized; women & children are not protected against assault. Whatever I’m wearing does not give you any right to put your hands on me at all anywhere period!

  3. Wow! Rev, and Tyrese don’t understand ‘sexual consent’.. If not they should be embarrassed. I’m not a Tyrese fan, and I can take, or leave Rev (mostly leave); but I like Steve Harvey. Some of Steve’s advice is based on common sense. (Overall) I’m thinking women shouldn’t take advice from a male’s perspective; but should take her advice? Just sayin’.

  4. specialt757 on said:

    “…but they [men] turn around and tell women you ought to dress how you want to be addressed.” I watched this episode and Rev Run didn’t say this, he quoted what someone tweeted and asked AR how she felt about it? He didn’t reference whether the tweet was from a male or female.

  5. Terry on said:

    Once again…Black women like this Demetria Lucas have totally missed the point on this matter. If it seems that a perspective coming from a man is
    “sexist”…then that’s what it is! That’s the point men like Tyrese, Rev Run and Steve Harvey are trying to make. Of course it doesn’t matter how a woman dresses/acts/speaks…it’s her choice, her prerogative. But some men (and women), are going to judge them for it…no matter what! Because that’s the REALITY we all live in. I’m not saying it’s right…but it is what it is! Black men don’t want to be seen as thugs, but if we want to wear baggy clothes, saggy pants, and a hoodie…some people will automatically judge us as a thug, based on that style being the image of a thug! It doesn’t matter if he’s a preacher, scholar, lawyer, doctor, or other…in the mind of that person viewing him at that moment in time…he’s a thug and a possible threat! When a woman wears revealing clothing to dress or feel “sexy”…then she’s going to project a sexy image…isn’t that the point?!? How is she going to be upset that some of the men (and women) viewing her are having “sexist” thoughts?!?

    Just like women who give relationship advice…they’re going to say things about men that men don’t agree with…whether it’s true or not. If you don’t agree with someone’s advice…then don’t listen. Go to a source that makes you feel good about yourself. It’s not that the advice you hear is right or wrong, good or bad…people just need to find the advice that works for them, and quit being so offended when they hear something they don’t agree with!

    Bottom line…first images create first impressions. This hasn’t changed since the beginning of time from seeing (supposedly) barbarians approaching your gate, to someone walking up to you on a street. There’s absolutely nothing you can do about how someone else perceives you, but you can carefully choose how you want your first image to look like to someone who doesn’t know you.

    • specialt757 on said:

      You hit the nail on the head.

      I guess it would be the equivalent to me saying ummm I’m going to wear this sexy dress today and someone sees me and says “hey sexy”. I shouldn’t be mad at that because after all wasn’t that my intension…to look sexy? We’re a complicated people.
      For example if my co-worker Kenny who is fine as all get out, says “Hey sexy-T you looking good today”. I smile/blush and say thank you Kenny. But if buck-tooth Bobby, my short, fat, diseased looking co-worker says the same thing, I say “you got one more time to say ANYTHING to me and I’m going to HR. Go figure how that works.

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