5. “You were able to do more when you were smaller.”
Body image issues top the list of dysfunctions that create less than pleasurable sexual situations for individuals and couples. Placing a spotlight on weight gain is never a great way to encourage a partner to perform at their best, so to avoid bringing insecurities into the bedroom that can inhibit arousal, switch up positions and performance space to encourage equal participation. Outside of the bedroom, encourage your partner to get into shape by working out together and suggesting healthier meal prep.
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6. “Do we have to do this right now?”
One partner may be turned on while the other is less than enthused about having sex, but being one to consistently deflect sexual advances can cause a relationship to become sexless altogether. As a way to make sex a priority in your relationship that creates a healthy sense of expression, set a time either weekly, bi-weekly or monthly (whatever you and your partner decide upon) to have erotic play time for at least an hour. Performing in this way will create an expectancy that won’t catch either partner off guard when sex is on the menu for the evening.
7. “You don’t satisfy me.”
It’s important to make a partner aware of dissatisfaction, but once again, the delivery of the message is what counts. Instead of delivering a message that can be damaging to the ego and self-esteem, work on finding solutions to the least satisfying parts of your sex life. Make suggestions of techniques that can be added to spice things up, suggest sex coaching, buy books that can be read together or watch adult films together. Always be aware of how your words can affect your partner.
Glamazon Tyomi is a freelance writer, model and sex educator with a deeply rooted passion for spreading the message of sex positivity and encouraging the masses to embrace their sexuality. Her website, www.sexperttyomi.com, reaches internationally as a source for advice and information for the sexually active/curious. Follow her on Twitter at @glamazontyomi and the all-new “Glamazon Tyomi’s Sex Academy” radio show here.
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7 Libido Killing Phrases & What To Say Instead was originally published on blackdoctor.org
