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A You Tube video that has gone viral has generated fierce debate on social media about whether or not it’s OK to intervene when a child is disturbing others in a public place.

WARNING: Graphic language

As you’ll see on the video, reportedly shot at Albany Hospital in upstate New York, before the recording begins, a mother was in the hospital restaurant talking on the phone for at least 20 minutes while her baby screamed nonstop. Another woman came over to offer assistance and and the mother said she didn’t need it.

But the supposed Good Samaritan who said she was trying to ‘help’ wouldn’t leave the mother’s table and the mother got increasingly agitated as patrons not only started recording the incident but called police when the two got physical.

Was the woman who came over to the table in the right to be concerned about the child? Or was the mother right in saying the woman should have walked away instead of remaining where she wasn’t wanted after she was asked to leave? Or were they both at fault?

Watch the video and let us know what you think!

(Photo: ThinkStock)

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60 thoughts on “Restaurant Patron Goes To ‘Help’ Crying Child And His Mother Goes Off [WATCH]

  1. Remy on said:

    As a new mom of color, I can relate to this scenario where an over 50 white woman comes over to offer “unsolicited help” or advice where my child is concerned. It has happened on multiple occasions over the past 10 months. This is harrassment. When her help was refused and the mom asked her to leave the table, she should have done so. If she felt strongly about the child’s safety, she should have called security. However, she was kinda f–ing with the mom when she wouldn’t leave the table which started a slew of unnecessary events.
    Furthermore, Security did not handle the situation appropriately either. To be in a hospital cafeteria, there a multitude of events that could have transpired before the mom came to the cafeteria such as a death, an unfavorable diagnosis or just a need to share the information with the caller on the phone. We don’t know which means there is no need for judgment.
    Even the title of this article is filled with judgement. While new moms are celebrated, often women of color receive condescending snares or remarks where everyone is watching. Strangers offer sugggestions and criticisms while hardly helping. The saddest part about his video is the mom repeatedly stating that her personal space was violated and no one even acknowledged how that was wrong on a human level.

  2. That lady should have left the table. She’s sitting there as if her presence was going to intimidate the younger, smaller woman. If she was just trying to “help” she should have left the table as soon as her assistance was rejected. I would have gotten upset too if it were just me and my baby and someone came and sat at my table with my baby and my food on the table and wouldn’t leave.

  3. What a terrible example of a woman. this mother should have had better sense than to spit on someone. I would have called the cops immediately and had her drug off to jail. See how she likes that,

  4. This Black Bitch spit in the white ladies face because she, “The Beast,” acted a dammed fool and did what was looked upon by others as abuse! But then again? Where is a place if one is there and some shit down ultimately go off simply because one or more is there. I keep on saying, “Some the These Black Bitches Think They Bad,” and it’s only a matter of time before videos surface with them getting the brakes beat off their ass’s! Longer over due for a lot of them!

    • bornBrave on said:

      The “white LADY” is a BITCH as well, when some1 asks you to leave their personal space, you do so! AND if once you leave, if there’s still an issue as a “lady” you go get the authorities you don’t agitate the situation more!

  5. pmariec on said:

    In FL, this would be a DCF case because it is considered a form of child abuse to act violently in front of a child as this mother did. I agree though, that the lady should have left from the get go.

  6. Both were wrong but bottom line, you cannot help someone who does not want to be helped.
    It reminds me of an episode of “When keeping it real goes wrong.”

  7. when she went to the lady and the lady said she need no help than leave her along, baby cry for lots of reason. it would have been nice if you would have being quite but you ways not. she was at a hospital if the baby needed help. now you could have move but you refuse to leave your table. when someone say no leave them along. now we no if she was black she would be in jail its good to be a good samaritan but some times let it go. good samaritian end up in jail or kill sometimes its best to slow to speak and learn to listen.

  8. TinaB on said:

    They were both wrong! When the mom said she didn’t need help, the woman should have moved away and if the baby continued to bother her, she should have called management or security. The mom was ignorant in the way she acted in front of her child. Her reaction was over the top and uncalled for! Also, she was absolutely wrong for spitting on the woman. If that were me, it wouldn’t have mattered whether I was in her space or not if she would’ve spent on me! I would’ve beat her a** so bad, she would’ve been glad she was in a hospital! Spitting on someone is completely out of line!!!

    • Virginia on said:

      Tina, did you read your statement. You said they “both were wrong”, that the mother’s actions were over the top, and THEN you said you would have “beat her a**” if she had spit on you. What would have made YOUR response any different than the mother’s????

  9. The Mom showed her ghettoness and the child probably will be just like her and show thats how you solves problems and end up in prison overeacting to something stupid. Now why are so much of our people in jail again? “Learned behaviors” Moms fault. Showed no control or restraint. Just ghettoness!

  10. Two things should have happen. 1. When the women said that she didn’t need any help, the woman should have left. 2. The mother should have got off the phone and took care of that child. You’re right some of us don’t have children but after a while. You do start to get annoyed at a screaming baby.

  11. J Smith on said:

    This is crazy, the lady should have left when asked and told management and let them handle it.
    Instead of trying to be captain save a hoe!

  12. I could put money on the fact that most of you who think that the woman was in the right to go over to that table and not leave when told….. DO NOT HAVE CHILDREN or they are spoiled as hell. Depending on the length of time the child was crying and for what, the mother had every right to ignore the child for a moment. When the mother told the lady to leave, she should have left. Yes, that was ignorant and nasty to spit on someone but, the mother would not have been able to spit on her if she wasn’t in her space.

  13. Kashawn on said:

    The lady should of left and minded her own business. The child wasn’t in any danger. You can’t try and raise someone else’s child!

  14. David Carter on said:

    Why the debate? Most good mothers put the welfare of their children first. After a couple of minutes the mother should have said to her correspondent: “My baby is crying, I have to go now and I’ll call you back when I’ve seen to my baby.” The mother’s conduct was disgraceful, she is uncivilized.

  15. Eunice on said:

    I blame the woman who came to the table. I don’t blame her for coming to the table to ask if she could help, I blame her for continuing to sit at the table afterwards. She was intimidating the mother and I guess she figured that because she was white she knew more than anyone else did. Not only should the mother had spit in her fat-assed face she should have “whupped” her fat-ass, also. She didn’t come over to help she came over to start something. I guess she thought that someone was scared of her with her “Paul Bunyan” figure. She was wrong that time. This wasn’t the first time that she had gotten into something she should not have. Everyone else must have been scared of her. This mother showed up and showed out!!!!!!

    • what would you do? on said:

      It could have also been that the mother is used to doing things like this and expect no one to confront her. Beside color has nothing to do with it…. that’s just an excuse to use when you don’t have anything constructive to say. Kind of like the woman spitting in the woman’s face. She didn’t display any morals or values of respecting her actions especially in front of her own child. Because sometimes it is best to be wise than to prove who is right. Because if she would have chose a better plan of action the woman who came to the table probably would have left but after the mother got hostile the woman may have felt threaten as well and decided to hold her place and plead her case. Its kind of like our young brothers out there killing each other every day and society takes the scared approach and ignore it with the false sense to deem that its ok until that same action of killing someone one day gets them shot by a policeman then that’s when everyone want to scream bloody murder about the cop but what about the person or persons our young brothers are killing everyday and at this very moment.

      • I agree with everything you said, but I do not believe that society “takes the scared approach and ignore it”. I just believe that people from my generation believe that minding your own business is always the best approach.
        People from my generation did not tell a parent how to raise and/or TREAT their child. However, people from my generation would have offered to help and if the help was not accepted, then we would have just turned and walked away.
        Are the people from my generation cowards? Perhaps, but as the old adage goes, it is the coward that lives to tell the tale. And the reason I say that, is that today, people are so quick to get upset over something menial. Today, parents are quick to pickup a gun, shoot and kill for little or no reason. Today, people have been shot and killed for less. Today, some parents lead me to believe that it is okay for their kids to disrespect adults. Today, it is best to mind your business.
        Notwithstanding, they were both wrong and I pray that they both learn from this incident.

  16. Bottom line, in my opinion, is this, when the young mother refused the help that was offered from the other woman, the conversation was over. Done!! If the other woman felt that intervention WAS INDEED necessary after she was refused, she should have called for security or at least the manager of the establishment. Yes, the young mother was wrong in her reaction to the insistent woman, but she had every RIGHT to refuse help. It was her perogative and NO ONE can insist that you accept their help.

  17. The question was who was wrong, the Good Samaritan or the Mom or both.
    In my opinion, BOTH were wrong.
    The Good Samaritan should have accepted what the Mother said and walked away.
    The Mother was wrong for acting that way in front of her child and in public.
    Today, we mind our business because it seems as though people are so quickly ill tempered. Today, people have been shot and killed for less [offenses].

  18. Try calming a baby on an airplane, the mother was happy to hand him over to me and the entire plane had a collective sigh of relief! He played on my laptop with my daughter and I went to sleep!
    Spitting is never acceptable, all mothers understand frustration at times but come on! Was the mom 17yrs old???

    • Cokes,
      Kudos for you for doing the right thing with the baby on the plane and double kudos to the overwhelmed mom that had enough wisdom to hand her child over to a kind and helpful person.

      • Virginia on said:

        I wouldn’t have handed my baby over to a stranger, especially when the baby is in distress, I don’t care how “kind and helpful” they were.

    • Virginia,
      I do not have children so I do not know how hard it is for a parent when their baby is constantly crying.
      I am just glad the Mother handed her baby over to someone/ANYONE instead of doing something drastic to the already upset child.

  19. October on said:

    The woman should have gotten her stupid azz off the phone and tended to her child. The other woman should have called Security to come and diffuse the situation. Glad I wasn’t born or raised in this day and time. People appreciated the assistance of others, today, not so much.

  20. Sharen on said:

    I was taught not to spit on animals and certainly not human beings; however, with that being said the woman should have left when the girl told her she didn’t need help. If that girl had been African American she would have been arrested!

  21. Kimberly Richardson-Taylor on said:

    It’s not what you say, it’s how you do it and I work in a hospital in security operations and you have to be very careful on how you approach patients,visitors, family members etc. The hospital can be a source of help, healing but it can also be very stressful for some people. People receive information differently and react differently. The lady” Ms. Good Samaritan” should have walked away after the mother said she was okay. The spitting probably wouldn’t have occurred had she simple walked away. Who knows what the mother was on the phone dealing with or what news she had just heard and if she chooses to ignore her child that she says is having a tantrum, what give another human being the right to question or judgement on how to manage it but sitting at her table uninvited. She should have called security so the mother could have moved on to another location or make her child be quiet. She was displaying a very forceful nature and intimidating the mother with her refusal to move and she did violate her space. It could have been handle better but ole well.

  22. you people are funny how you stand up for a disrespectful young lady spitting in someone face and you all say the lady who came to help is wrong I wish that was me I would have made world news now please go and comment on that PJ and Gwendolyn Jones Steward here what I say Fuck You All

  23. what would you do? on said:

    Have anyone watched the TV show “What would you do?” This is a perfect example. Yes the woman probably could have thought of a better plan before approaching the table but her motherly instincts probably kicked in and she wanted to intervene. If that’s clearly right or wrong for her to go over to the table I don’t know but the child crying and what ever the mother was doing about it had to be overwhelming enough for the woman to make a decision to go over there. I have seen many situations like this. My wife and I can’t have children and she is very compassionate towards little children. She does the something occasionally when she sees a baby or toddler crying. She would play with the child to make it laugh or giggle after getting eye contact with the parent. Most of the parents she encounters usually smile and say ohh thank you for helping me. But I always tell her you can’t just do that… one day you are going to cross the wrong person but then I feel compelled to do it also. What ever happened to love and care for one another? Did the mother over react….. she probably did. She didn’t have to go off on the woman like that especially spitting on her that wasn’t called for at all. I can see if the lady told the woman to shut up your child or I will. The woman’s true intention was to help, not to insult I’m guessing and If the mother felt the woman’s intentions were sincere she should have appreciated the woman’s help a little to the point if whatever she was doing was important enough to have her child crying and not being able to attend to it the way she may need to have done….. to me that was an opportunity for God to use the woman to comfort an innocent child. Besides when you are in the public’s eye we do not have a right to privacy or space. That woman approaching the table was probably the lesser of the two because if security just walked up to her and embarrassed her by telling her to leave your because her and her baby is disrupting others the outcome probably would have been a little different. Beside the guy recording the incident violated her space as well.

    • What Would You Do,

      Your story sounds so much like mine. While reading what you wrote, I could EASILY understand your wife’s position because I am just like her and you are just like my husband.

      Just as you, my husband and I do not have children so I get a kick out of them when I see them. If they are playing loudly and disturbing others, I just smile at them and appreciate the sound of joy and laughter. (I know not everyone appreciates this, but…)
      If a child is crying, I try to smile at them or make funny faces. Sometimes, I receive an approved smile and other times, a stern look that says to me, ‘Mind your business.’

      I have never talked to a parent about the behavior of their child but will simply say, “Oh, she/he is so cute.” I do not think it is my business to intervene but on one occasion, I deemed a man as being very disgusting when urinating outside. Kids were present! And of course, I called the police!

      If I were the woman, I would not have intervened because in this day and age, people are so quick tempered and besides, where I come from, we always minded our own business. When I was a child, the neighborhood elders would call my parents in two seconds if they thought we were misbehaving but other than that, we pretty much minded our business and did not intervene.

      I cannot and will not say the woman was wrong to intervene but I am guessing that she will think twice about doing it again. 😐

  24. She was wrong to spit in the woman’s face. That was nasty! Based on the way she carries herself, she doesn’t deserve to have a child. I feel sorry for the child. Unfortunately in a situation like this, it pays to mind your business. Sad world we’re living in.

    • specialt757 on said:

      “,,,it pays to mind your business” Sometimes minding your own business comes at a price as well, like someone’s death. We in America have gotten so scared to confront people when they do the wrong things and that’s why it’s so many disrespectful adults and kids coming up. The woman coming to the aide of this crying child wasn’t scared, so kudos to her. The next time she may want to get security involved first instead of being hit and spit on.

  25. specialt757 on said:

    “common sense isn’t so common anymore” you got that right! This could have been handled so much differently. It’s not that a baby’s crying is annoying but people listening to him/her don’t know whether the child is in distress or not. So why not offer assistance? However, once offered and she refused then leave, I would have. This mother was over the top.

  26. The stupid mother should have been attending to her baby instead of being on her damn cellphone.
    The lady who attempted to aid the crying baby should’ve minded her own business.

    It’s not like back in the day when folks would appreciate someone trying to help them with their child.
    These days mothers/parents are different.

    I see kids turning red/blue whatever in public due to tantrums, I just look, shake my head and keep on going. I do not intervene in others business-no matter how well meaning I may be!!!!!!!

  27. The lady that came over could have offered help. If the mother needed it she probably would not have acted that way. If the lady thought the baby was in danger she should have called the cops. We don’t know what type of pressure the mother was currently under. Sometimes people need to just mind their business. Once the police arrived the nosey lady just stood there and it looks like the authorities just took her side.

    • Virginia on said:

      I have read All of the comments up to this point AND,

      FINALLY Joyce, someone who touched on What I was thinking. We have NO IDEA what this young mother was going through. WHY are we (and the “good samaritan) ASSUMING that there is something WRONG with her baby, or that she wasn’t on the phone FOR A REASON. When I see somebody in the hospital with a baby, I assume they are there because a husband, boyfriend, grandma or Parents are in the hospital. We DO NOT know what kind of stress this mother was under. For All we Know, the BABY might have been sick or Uncontrollable. So, when the mother told that lady to leave she SHOULD HAVE LEFT. Even the men who were taping this event felt the big woman had a RIGHT to correct and “help” this young woman. Help she DID NOT request, nor she CLEARLY did not want.

      As I said, I watched the tape, and if it had been me as a young mother, visiting someone in the hospital or bringing my child there to the clinic, and I had to get on the phone to get a ride, call about the condition of the person I was visiting, tell someone else visiting hours, WHATEVER, I would have been FURIOUS if someone had sat down in MY face and REFUSED to move.

      I may not have reacted the way this mother did, but then again, I have NO IDEA what was going on in her life at that very moment. By the difference in their sizes, I CAN say that the “good samaritan” dug in and decided to passively CONFRONT this mother in order to intimidate her in front of her baby and everybody else. She ASSUMED that everybody there would take her side. She was probably right. Unfortunately. When she saw the baby was OK, she should have LEFT the cafeteria if the baby was bothering her. PERIOD.

      • mmmmmm on said:

        Did you read the story before you watched the video? It paints the picture of what happened before the video started. For all that matters the good Samaritan may have been going through something herself. After 20 to 30 minutes of hearing a baby cry was enough to strike a nerve with anyone. After that amount of time her business became everyone elses business as well.

  28. Regina on said:

    All babies cry and the Lady that came over, over- steped her bounds. The mother could have been more civil about it and people would have understood her point. But isnt strange how people will stick their nose in non sence but if someone was getting beat down they would have just watched. You can not tell other people how to raise their children that is why they are growing up disrespectful today.

  29. Sharon on said:

    This happens all the time…I mean, if the crying is that bothersome, go get security!! That’s their job…otherwise, you don’t walk upon a sister that already said she didn’t need your help. You’re asking to get cursed out or beat down.

  30. Ms Curly on said:

    Both of them were wrong. The one woman should have never went over to the table, but after she was asked to leave she should have left them alone. The mother must have been angry about something else, she got extra frustrated really quickly. She also had the option to move to another table, she knows that noise was to much for a public place.

  31. ifixpcs on said:

    The lady who came over to the table was just feeling sorry for the child and wanted to comfort the baby. I would have probably done the same thing. The mother obviously did not have her priorities in order because what ever she was doing could have waited. The child should have came first but when someone steps up does what she should have been doing she gets offended and throws her own temper tantrum. I can bet that she always let this child cry. She kept repeating her space was violated but it started with her allowing her child to cry the way that he or she was that was disrupting others around her to the point someone had to come to the child’s aid. I don’t know if I could have held it together like that woman did….. if the mother would have spit in my face. She may have been crying like her child. But God say to turn the other cheek so I would have had to bridle myself just as she did.

    • Virginia on said:

      The lady who came over to the table was feeling sorry for HERSELF. She could have cared LESS about that baby. If she Had, she would have LEFT when she saw the child’s mother getting increasingly upset. As I said in my earlier post, that lady had NO IDEA why that young woman was in the hospital cafeteria. She COULD have been there visiting a dying relative and was under a lot of stress. The woman SHOULD have left when the younger woman said she didn’t need any help. But she sat there, I think to antagonize her. Sounded like to me the young lady MAY have already been upset by something else. Her reactions SEEMED over the top, but we don’t really know if they were.

      The lady who came over SHOULD have left her alone.

  32. She should have taken her child out of that environment and waited for another time to “ignore her child having a tantrum”, maybe like at home. That was the common sense thing to do, I say that knowing full well that, “common sense isn’t so common anymore”.

    I don’t believe there are many black women who would have tried to intercede…they recognize ignorance when they see it, they probably would have given her a “dirty” look and left themselves if the crying was bothering them. On the telephone, indeed!

    • Virginia on said:

      BUT, we don’t know WHY she was on the phone. She was in a Hospital. It COULD have been a very important call. She was obviously already upset. Then to be approached by a stranger who wouldn’t leave, may have been the icing on the cake. We DO NOT KNOW. Everybody here seems to want to judge the young lady because of HER behavior, and EXCUSE a stranger who should have left her alone.

  33. Katherine on said:

    I don’t care to hear a hollering child while I’m trying to eat either and the mother should have left or try to calm her child down. But, that woman had no right to continue to interfere once the mother told her she didn’t need her help. The woman should have walked away and minded her own business. As long as the child was not being abused, she should have left the mother alone.

  34. i am absolutely flabbergasted at what i just watched,what in the hell is wrong with folks?how dare you walk over to my table where i’m sitting minding my business and interfere with MY crying infant to tell me what to do.and you wouldn’t leave after i told you to back off,how dare you just sit there uninvited and not leave when repeatedly asked to.and those good white folks see nothing wrong and are in there backing that fat white nosy bitch up,i’ve never seen anything like that in my fucking life!i must be losing my damn mind.the sister should of gotten up with her child and just left,but i bet you if it was a crying white child nobody would have said a FUCKING WORD!!

  35. Wanda on said:

    Once the tantrum started this lady should have picked up her child and left the restaurant. This child’s tantrum affected everyone in hearing distance. I don’t know that I would have stayed at the table to talk to this mother when she obviously is unwilling to see how choices impact other people in the restaurant. The spitting is ridiculous. That alone should get a ticket.

    • specialt757 on said:

      “The spitting is ridiculous. That alone should get a ticket.” no less an ass whoppin’. Spitting in someone’s face has got to be the most disgusting dehumanizing thing someone can do. Who knows what kinds of disease, hep C, AIDS and anything else she may have.

    • Virginia on said:

      You don’t even know what you’re talking about. I’m sure this young lady didn’t just happen in off the street to eat in a HOSPITAL CAFETERIA. She was at the hospital FOR A REASON. How often do YOU go to a hospital for NO REASON? She also MAY have been on the phone, FOR A REASON.

      I don’t like the way this young woman reacted, but not knowing what the young lady was enduring, the woman that came over to her table should have LEFT HER ALONE.

  36. Once the lady came and said she didn’t need her help and the child was having a tantrum that she was ignoring. The lady should have left and “minded her own business.”

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