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Comedian Chris Paul gives his hilarious take on the day’s hot topics:

Raven Symone is out of the closet.  Raven thanked the government for making it possible for her to now get married to a woman, and no one’s really shocked because the rumors about her sexual preference have been out here for years.  But word is Raven Symone became a lesbian after Bill Cosby’s ugly ass sweaters turned her off from all men.

Things are getting worse for Philadelphia Eagles receive Riley Cooper.  Not only is his team pissed off over his use of the N word, but he had to be sent home over threats he received.  And now his own grandma says she has no sympathy for him.  Wow, when you’re grandma’s done with you, you are done.  But no matter how bad things get Paula Deen will not drop Riley Cooper from her Fantasy Football team.

Today is due day for A-Rod.  Major League Baseball is expected to slap Alex Rodriguez with the biggest suspension in history for his steroid use and cover up.  And just how long will his suspension be?  Let’s just say that when A-Rod plays another game Ariel Castro will be sitting right behind home plate.

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