This is Chris Paul from the TJMS running through the top stories in roughly sixty seconds with The Morning Minute.

Chicago Bears wide receiver Brandon Marshall made the claim that some NFL players are taking Viagra before games to give them an edge.  This concerns a lot of people, especially the dudes who play center.  But the makers of Viagra say that their manhood cement will do nothing to help a football player on the field, not even on fourth and inches.  But others say that Viagra would help some players, for instance running backs could keep two hands on the ball and still stiff arm you.

In the Middle East a thick mustache is a symbol of virility and wisdom.  So the men who can’t grow them are now going to see plastic surgeons who are cosmetically planting thick bushy moustaches on their faces.  That’s right, moustache implants.  But what these men don’t know is that the hair being used for their moustaches comes from old bikini wax clippings.  (Sniff, sniff) What the hell?

Mary J. Blige and her husband are being sued by their bank for defaulting on a $2.2 million dollar loan.  So now the bank is going after Mary for that cash plus another 58 grand in fees.  That’s a lot of money Mary’s got to come up with.  You know what that means.  ♫Crispy chicken, fresh lettuce, three cheeses, fresh dressing, wrapped up in a tasty flour tortilla..♫

 

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