Last week, a blog entitled “Having a Favorite Child” went viral. Apparently, a writer had the nerve not only to put in writing that she favors one of her children over another one, but to charge that if you’re a parent, you have a favorite too.
The topic struck a nerve because it’s one that almost everyone can relate to. Even if you don’t have children, you more than likely had a sibling and may have or may not have felt like your parents played favorites.
Click here to hear Nikki Woods’ weekly “What in the Weekend?” report.
Lots of talk shows made this their hot topic of the day without delving into the entire blog. But after reading it, turns out that each of her six children were her favorites at different times. So, in private, she would tell the kid she was talking to that he or she was her favorite. By doing this, she says, all of her children grew up believing that he was appreciated more than the others. It wasn’t until they got older that they figured out Mom’s plot and realized they all were extra special.
After I got past the fact that this woman has six children – sorry, don’t get it – I began to think more about her feel-good story.
I’m all for making both of my boys feel that they are special to me and pointing out why, but taking them into my confidence and declaring that I favored one over the other is not the way to do it, for a lot of reasons. I don’t want to make my children feel that they are competing for my love or that my love and appreciation for them is based on their deeds and changes from day to day. They aren’t competitors or adversaries; they’re brothers who need to be taught to have each other’s backs, not conspiring behind each others backs with – of all people – their mother.
I also feel that as brothers, they should celebrate each other’s unique and special qualities, as I do. And I think that they are. Tyler loves it when Willis Jr. makes him laugh. And Willis loves it when his big brother helps him with his homework or a building project. They both have their strong points that lend strength to the other’s not-so-strong points.
Now, let’s turn the tables and get on to one that may spark more conversation. Who’s your favorite parent? Ahhh.
Anyone who knows me can testify that I am a big ol’ Daddy’s girl. He has always been – and always will be – my hero. And although I know my mother treasured the special relationship I had with my father, it had to have hurt for me not to have blatantly showered her with as much love and affection as I did my dad.
As a child, I never considered how my favoritism might have affected my mom. As an adult, I began to appreciate the special role and sacrifices my mother made for me, whether I was grateful or not, and felt bad for how I treated her. I really was no joke. Now, as a single mom sharing custody of my boys with their dad, most of time, I’m sure they love us equally, but there are times when I can too closely relate to my mother’s pain of being the parent who was left out.
Flashback to my arrival home after the cruise: The boys were high off of a week spent with father and were understandably sad
Also On Black America Web:
This Week’s Celebrity Instagrams (11/26-12/2)
30 photos Launch gallery
1. Little Legend and Puddy 😍😍😍😍
1 of 30
2. "You on point Phife?" "all the time,Tip". 💥 #bannedfromnormal
2 of 30
3. Vegan! The Impossible burger at Crossroads
3 of 30
4. Lawrence #BeforeandAfterEpisodes 1-4: 184lbs 13% body fatEpisode 8: 196lbs 8% body fat S/O @coachdaveboxing with the works outs and @kildareriordan with the nutrition
4 of 30
5. Jus haaaanngin out
5 of 30
6. Meanwhile back at home in Atlanta GA someone mad they not on the 🛳. 😳
6 of 30
7. No limits... Photo cred: Chris Bridges @ludacris
7 of 30
8. new new
8 of 30
9. Apparently my 260lbs is too much for the actual vines in the Hawaiian jungles to hold me without breaking and me falling hundreds of feet. So for safety purposes, I'm forced to swing thru #Jumanjj on wires strong enough to hold 12 adult buffaloes and 1 adult Rock. #OnSet #Jumanji #IronicallyIEatBuffaloDailyForLunch #MoreManThanNatureKnowsWhatToDoWith
9 of 30
10. hey ma! 🎎#wcw 💙
10 of 30
11. Surprise visit to our factories!!! #GoodAmerican #USA
11 of 30
12 of 30
13. Peachy Keen 🔥✨⚡️
13 of 30
14. If this don't look thankful I don't know what does. Happy Thanksgiving to you and yours. #UltraBlessed #24kMagic #SweetPotatoFly
14 of 30
15. Late nights @nbcmarlon with the writers... we in here!!!
15 of 30
16. There goes my baaaaaaaaabbbbyyyyy #QueenKingMagic!!! We're up to something! Ira BIG!!! Stay out our buisness -
16 of 30
17. You want to win every game you play but when you come home to these faces... who cares. #ILoveYouGirls best part of my day, everyday!
17 of 30
18. Steady,steady..... full size jenga.. "I got this one "???? Or do I ?
18 of 30
19. Cornrows kind of day 😉@dontaysavoy2 you convinced me and I love. ❤️️
19 of 30
20. #BrotherlyLove #tbt
20 of 30
21 of 30
22. #basel #TeamLOVE @kingcombs
22 of 30
23. Just introduced a special screening of @directher 's groundbreaking (must see) documentary @13thfilm with my brother @themichaelealy | @unitedblackout #blackoutblackfriday
23 of 30
24. Me & Vanessa Williams giving #DuckLips #Pose on the set of #DaytimeDivas @vh1 - Coming Soon to a tv near you. Lol. - My make up done by @makeupsurgeon
24 of 30
25. This picture just makes me wanna praise the Lord, you hear me!!!!!! Yes Lord brotha #TEDDYCAMPBELL What a #man !!! You are everything right on this picture husband ......... #gorgeous #stylish #classy #strong #masculine #king #sexy #debonair #gentlemenstyle And that #bible in your hand just seals the deal for me (probably cause i know that, that is what helped you become just as amazing as you look😘). While my heart and mind experiences the goodness of God at #church on Sundays, my eyes experiences the goodness of Teddy😍. Amen somebody🙌🏽. "Bless the Lord oh my soul and all that is within me bless his holy name" #myman #myhusband #goodman #blackman #dapperman #godlyman #goodfather #mybestfriend
25 of 30
26. Yesterday was my mama's 53rd birthday!!!!! Got to celebrate with her all day. If this is what I have to look forward to I can't wait. Looking like a soft bucket a cocoa butter. Yaaaaaaaaaas! 😍😍😍 love you mommy!
26 of 30
27. "Shout out to @PureAtlanta for getting the family right"....I'm loving this jogger. 😍😍
27 of 30
28. This pic warms my heart ❤️ #myLogiebeans and aunt aunt umba @itowandabraxton 😘
28 of 30
29. You will always be my baby😜. #HappyBirthdayReginae #mybaby18
29 of 30
30. GC "Gods Child" Red on Red SweatSuit available now at www.MonicaApparel.com ... Take Your Crown wherever you go!! I'm pictured in a Medium... Go to the site now for other options ... cc: @trukernell
30 of 30