Last week, a blog entitled “Having a Favorite Child” went viral. Apparently, a writer had the nerve not only to put in writing that she favors one of her children over another one, but to charge that if you’re a parent, you have a favorite too.
The topic struck a nerve because it’s one that almost everyone can relate to. Even if you don’t have children, you more than likely had a sibling and may have or may not have felt like your parents played favorites.
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Lots of talk shows made this their hot topic of the day without delving into the entire blog. But after reading it, turns out that each of her six children were her favorites at different times. So, in private, she would tell the kid she was talking to that he or she was her favorite. By doing this, she says, all of her children grew up believing that he was appreciated more than the others. It wasn’t until they got older that they figured out Mom’s plot and realized they all were extra special.
After I got past the fact that this woman has six children – sorry, don’t get it – I began to think more about her feel-good story.
I’m all for making both of my boys feel that they are special to me and pointing out why, but taking them into my confidence and declaring that I favored one over the other is not the way to do it, for a lot of reasons. I don’t want to make my children feel that they are competing for my love or that my love and appreciation for them is based on their deeds and changes from day to day. They aren’t competitors or adversaries; they’re brothers who need to be taught to have each other’s backs, not conspiring behind each others backs with – of all people – their mother.
I also feel that as brothers, they should celebrate each other’s unique and special qualities, as I do. And I think that they are. Tyler loves it when Willis Jr. makes him laugh. And Willis loves it when his big brother helps him with his homework or a building project. They both have their strong points that lend strength to the other’s not-so-strong points.
Now, let’s turn the tables and get on to one that may spark more conversation. Who’s your favorite parent? Ahhh.
Anyone who knows me can testify that I am a big ol’ Daddy’s girl. He has always been – and always will be – my hero. And although I know my mother treasured the special relationship I had with my father, it had to have hurt for me not to have blatantly showered her with as much love and affection as I did my dad.
As a child, I never considered how my favoritism might have affected my mom. As an adult, I began to appreciate the special role and sacrifices my mother made for me, whether I was grateful or not, and felt bad for how I treated her. I really was no joke. Now, as a single mom sharing custody of my boys with their dad, most of time, I’m sure they love us equally, but there are times when I can too closely relate to my mother’s pain of being the parent who was left out.
Flashback to my arrival home after the cruise: The boys were high off of a week spent with father and were understandably sad
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This Week’s Celebrity Instagrams (10/15-10/21)
31 photos Launch gallery
1. Just a NY girl with BIG dreams....
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2. HAPPY CHILDREN=QUALITY PARENTING. We don't always see eye to eye on everything and that's normal. We're human beings. But we come together and do it right for what's important, the kids. We are not enemies, we are parents. And we are parents 1st. S/O to @monyettashaw for making Mason's bday memorable. S/O to @itscrystalsmith at home taking care of our other lil' Prince. ❤️❤️❤️ THIS IS WHAT CO-PARENTING LOOKS LIKE. #Blessed #Happy #AboveTheDrama #BiggerThanUs
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3. So happy to finally be able to share with you all that I’m the new Global Brand Ambassador for @Revlon! Follow my day on RevlonSnaps. Yay! Choose Love, Everybody! #RevlonXCiara #chooselove #ad
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4. Glam on point!!!@makeupbymotoko & @shaylinjoneshair #easybreezy @lifetimetv #beachesmovie #january2017 😘
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5. ✨True love ✨📸: @jessiemarrerophotography
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7. Today was not easy..but by the grace of God we all got through it. Words cannot express our gratitude for all of your Prayers, Positive thoughts and Support for us throughout the years. Tommy will be missed but most certainly never forgotten...And PLEASE don't ask "Where's Martin?.." he was there too...just not in this picture. Lol! God bless you all.. #LoveConquersAll #MartinShow
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9. West coast get ready for #RockyHorror. I will be live tweeting again. #letsdothetimewarpagain
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10. #THEKEYS pre order yours now ... Available everywhere #NOV22 #WeTheBest 🔑🔑🔑🔑🔑🔑🔑🔑🔑🔑🔑🔑🔑🔑🔑🔑🔑🔑🔑🔑
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11. We about to ROCK at #KCABlackBall!! All for our life-changing effort to end 🌎 AIDS.
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12. Today's #SNAPJACK is brought to you by @yazzthegreatest 😂😂😂💋💋💋
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13. Damn girl you kinda old to be headed to the Go Go. You coming in at the age they leaving. LMAO
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14. Daddy daycare B-Boxin with @acewellstucker @shopraisingace
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15. #FBF Naviyd & URV "LIL MONSTERS"
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16. HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ONE OF THE BIGGEST LEGENDS IN OUR HIPHOP HISTORY! @snoopdogg CONTINUED BLESSING AND LOVE FAMILY!!!!! REAL OG!
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17. Thank you for a beautiful night VSU! Let's do it again! #HOMECOMING
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18. Had a great time this morning with my familia Erica, Griff & Truth!!
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19. Check out my interview on @essence facebook live. #inmyownwords #nycpromo #day2
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20. #She💋 #tbt #TheCoveAtTheAtlantis #DawgPawsAndAll
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21. Bae #retailtherapy
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22. Why me and @coryhardrict got the same pose... and notee... new mouth #naked
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23. When my husband is my personal 'hype-man'! it kills me every time! 💜😂 #WHATNOW #lostfiles📷
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24. Diggy Simmons
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25. Hand full of @jacquieaiche 💙💎💍 @esnail_la 💅🏾
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26. SuperSoulers! You can watch my interview with Carl Lentz live from my Facebook page, tomorrow at 11a ET| 8a PT. #SuperSoulSunday
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27. 💋 .. When the friendship is easy like Sunday morning. ☀️
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28. Sunday mornings are the best........... hugs and cuddles with my angel
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29. #huggar16 #hellohuggars
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30. My gym is everywhere!.. #RnBMoney #TheGeneral 📸: @twelvepastseven
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31. Nothing I would rather be doing... Rocko setting up our movie, Romelō working on a puzzle & Laiyah singing and sharing all she's learning at school... I'm so grateful for the joy they've brought into my life ... Praying for peace , joy & love in the home of EVERY family ♥️ #HeadScarfPJSunday LOL 😂
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