Having a healthy relationship is a 24-hour job, but ideally, it’s a labor of love. It really does take two – and often, more than that to make it work — family, friends, other couples, counseling, and spiritual guidance all make a difference.
Author and “Tom Joyner Morning Show” commentator Jeff Johnson and I get very real and personal about what we are looking for in a relationship. Listen in and read an excerpt of our conversation.
In Part One Jeff breaks it down about how a real man wants his woman to shine! (Click Here to Play Audio)
Check out the second half of our interview: (Click Here to Play Audio)
DEYA: With men and women both being so career orientated, have you experienced more of a competitive nature, as opposed to a complimentary nature?
JEFF: Yeah, but that comes down to not knowing who you are. And if we are creating as partners, wherein lies the issues? Are we really creating a partnership, or are you trying to see who the biggest baller is? What we do collectively makes us both better off.
DEYA: I’m going to speak personally, but I know that this true for a lot of women. I want to get mines (life and career goals), not so much from the perspective of climbing the corporate ladder. I just want to fulfill my purpose – everything that God has put in me.
JEFF: But here is the thing: Do women honestly have these conversation with their men about that? Sisters so often are in that “Baby, I got your back; I’ma support you” kind of thing. Then, when it comes time for you to flex, dude will say, “What are you doing? You are suppose to be supporting me?” Why? Because there wasn’t a conversation in the beginning about how we can we support each other – because I’m trying to get mines, and I want you to get yours, and lets ride or die and get this thing together.
DEYA: Yeah, that’s hot.
JEFF: Yeah, that is really hot! And you know what’s crazy to me? We watch this for eight seasons on “The Cosby Show” with the Huxtables and never get it. You never saw Clair diminish herself in front of Cliff like that.
I know that so much of that was so unrealistic on certain levels, but why does it have to be? I know couples like that, and they may not be the power couple at the top of the medical and law game, but they are a working couple that are both on their grind. If partnership and friendship are not the foundation, then ultimately, competition is. We are competing for whose wrong the most; we are competing on who’s right the most.
DEYA: You know, you’re dropping science right now! This is good!
JEFF: We are competing about who’s going to submit first because we were never friends – so we can’t be partners. See, I don’t even know why you got me talking like this – you know this is not my field.
DEYA: Lord, have mercy … it’s good is what it is. It’s real talk!
Jeff’s book is titled: Everything I’m Not Made Me Everything I Am Discovering Your Personal Best.
Deya “Direct” Smith is a producer on “The Tom Joyner Morning Show” and host of Girlfriend FM, where Females Matter Most, as well as Beyond the Studio celebrity interviews on BlackAmericaWeb.com. She is also a motivational speaker, actress and social commentator. She can be reached at DeyaDirect@aol.com.
Also On Black America Web:
This Week’s Celebrity Instagrams (11/26-12/2)
30 photos Launch gallery
1. Little Legend and Puddy 😍😍😍😍
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2. "You on point Phife?" "all the time,Tip". 💥 #bannedfromnormal
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3. Vegan! The Impossible burger at Crossroads
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4. Lawrence #BeforeandAfterEpisodes 1-4: 184lbs 13% body fatEpisode 8: 196lbs 8% body fat S/O @coachdaveboxing with the works outs and @kildareriordan with the nutrition
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5. Jus haaaanngin out
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6. Meanwhile back at home in Atlanta GA someone mad they not on the 🛳. 😳
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7. No limits... Photo cred: Chris Bridges @ludacris
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8. new new
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9. Apparently my 260lbs is too much for the actual vines in the Hawaiian jungles to hold me without breaking and me falling hundreds of feet. So for safety purposes, I'm forced to swing thru #Jumanjj on wires strong enough to hold 12 adult buffaloes and 1 adult Rock. #OnSet #Jumanji #IronicallyIEatBuffaloDailyForLunch #MoreManThanNatureKnowsWhatToDoWith
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10. hey ma! 🎎#wcw 💙
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11. Surprise visit to our factories!!! #GoodAmerican #USA
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13. Peachy Keen 🔥✨⚡️
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14. If this don't look thankful I don't know what does. Happy Thanksgiving to you and yours. #UltraBlessed #24kMagic #SweetPotatoFly
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15. Late nights @nbcmarlon with the writers... we in here!!!
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16. There goes my baaaaaaaaabbbbyyyyy #QueenKingMagic!!! We're up to something! Ira BIG!!! Stay out our buisness -
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17. You want to win every game you play but when you come home to these faces... who cares. #ILoveYouGirls best part of my day, everyday!
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18. Steady,steady..... full size jenga.. "I got this one "???? Or do I ?
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19. Cornrows kind of day 😉@dontaysavoy2 you convinced me and I love. ❤️️
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20. #BrotherlyLove #tbt
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22. #basel #TeamLOVE @kingcombs
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23. Just introduced a special screening of @directher 's groundbreaking (must see) documentary @13thfilm with my brother @themichaelealy | @unitedblackout #blackoutblackfriday
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24. Me & Vanessa Williams giving #DuckLips #Pose on the set of #DaytimeDivas @vh1 - Coming Soon to a tv near you. Lol. - My make up done by @makeupsurgeon
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25. This picture just makes me wanna praise the Lord, you hear me!!!!!! Yes Lord brotha #TEDDYCAMPBELL What a #man !!! You are everything right on this picture husband ......... #gorgeous #stylish #classy #strong #masculine #king #sexy #debonair #gentlemenstyle And that #bible in your hand just seals the deal for me (probably cause i know that, that is what helped you become just as amazing as you look😘). While my heart and mind experiences the goodness of God at #church on Sundays, my eyes experiences the goodness of Teddy😍. Amen somebody🙌🏽. "Bless the Lord oh my soul and all that is within me bless his holy name" #myman #myhusband #goodman #blackman #dapperman #godlyman #goodfather #mybestfriend
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26. Yesterday was my mama's 53rd birthday!!!!! Got to celebrate with her all day. If this is what I have to look forward to I can't wait. Looking like a soft bucket a cocoa butter. Yaaaaaaaaaas! 😍😍😍 love you mommy!
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27. "Shout out to @PureAtlanta for getting the family right"....I'm loving this jogger. 😍😍
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28. This pic warms my heart ❤️ #myLogiebeans and aunt aunt umba @itowandabraxton 😘
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29. You will always be my baby😜. #HappyBirthdayReginae #mybaby18
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30. GC "Gods Child" Red on Red SweatSuit available now at www.MonicaApparel.com ... Take Your Crown wherever you go!! I'm pictured in a Medium... Go to the site now for other options ... cc: @trukernell
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