Having a healthy relationship is a 24-hour job, but ideally, it’s a labor of love. It really does take two – and often, more than that to make it work — family, friends, other couples, counseling, and spiritual guidance all make a difference.
Author and “Tom Joyner Morning Show” commentator Jeff Johnson and I get very real and personal about what we are looking for in a relationship. Listen in and read an excerpt of our conversation.
In Part One Jeff breaks it down about how a real man wants his woman to shine! (Click Here to Play Audio)
Check out the second half of our interview: (Click Here to Play Audio)
DEYA: With men and women both being so career orientated, have you experienced more of a competitive nature, as opposed to a complimentary nature?
JEFF: Yeah, but that comes down to not knowing who you are. And if we are creating as partners, wherein lies the issues? Are we really creating a partnership, or are you trying to see who the biggest baller is? What we do collectively makes us both better off.
DEYA: I’m going to speak personally, but I know that this true for a lot of women. I want to get mines (life and career goals), not so much from the perspective of climbing the corporate ladder. I just want to fulfill my purpose – everything that God has put in me.
JEFF: But here is the thing: Do women honestly have these conversation with their men about that? Sisters so often are in that “Baby, I got your back; I’ma support you” kind of thing. Then, when it comes time for you to flex, dude will say, “What are you doing? You are suppose to be supporting me?” Why? Because there wasn’t a conversation in the beginning about how we can we support each other – because I’m trying to get mines, and I want you to get yours, and lets ride or die and get this thing together.
DEYA: Yeah, that’s hot.
JEFF: Yeah, that is really hot! And you know what’s crazy to me? We watch this for eight seasons on “The Cosby Show” with the Huxtables and never get it. You never saw Clair diminish herself in front of Cliff like that.
I know that so much of that was so unrealistic on certain levels, but why does it have to be? I know couples like that, and they may not be the power couple at the top of the medical and law game, but they are a working couple that are both on their grind. If partnership and friendship are not the foundation, then ultimately, competition is. We are competing for whose wrong the most; we are competing on who’s right the most.
DEYA: You know, you’re dropping science right now! This is good!
JEFF: We are competing about who’s going to submit first because we were never friends – so we can’t be partners. See, I don’t even know why you got me talking like this – you know this is not my field.
DEYA: Lord, have mercy … it’s good is what it is. It’s real talk!
Jeff’s book is titled: Everything I’m Not Made Me Everything I Am Discovering Your Personal Best.
Deya “Direct” Smith is a producer on “The Tom Joyner Morning Show” and host of Girlfriend FM, where Females Matter Most, as well as Beyond the Studio celebrity interviews on BlackAmericaWeb.com. She is also a motivational speaker, actress and social commentator. She can be reached at DeyaDirect@aol.com.
Also On Black America Web:
This Week’s Celebrity Instagrams (10/15-10/21)
31 photos Launch gallery
1. Just a NY girl with BIG dreams....
1 of 31
2. HAPPY CHILDREN=QUALITY PARENTING. We don't always see eye to eye on everything and that's normal. We're human beings. But we come together and do it right for what's important, the kids. We are not enemies, we are parents. And we are parents 1st. S/O to @monyettashaw for making Mason's bday memorable. S/O to @itscrystalsmith at home taking care of our other lil' Prince. ❤️❤️❤️ THIS IS WHAT CO-PARENTING LOOKS LIKE. #Blessed #Happy #AboveTheDrama #BiggerThanUs
2 of 31
3. So happy to finally be able to share with you all that I’m the new Global Brand Ambassador for @Revlon! Follow my day on RevlonSnaps. Yay! Choose Love, Everybody! #RevlonXCiara #chooselove #ad
3 of 31
4. Glam on point!!!@makeupbymotoko & @shaylinjoneshair #easybreezy @lifetimetv #beachesmovie #january2017 😘
4 of 31
5. ✨True love ✨📸: @jessiemarrerophotography
5 of 31
6 of 31
7. Today was not easy..but by the grace of God we all got through it. Words cannot express our gratitude for all of your Prayers, Positive thoughts and Support for us throughout the years. Tommy will be missed but most certainly never forgotten...And PLEASE don't ask "Where's Martin?.." he was there too...just not in this picture. Lol! God bless you all.. #LoveConquersAll #MartinShow
7 of 31
8 of 31
9. West coast get ready for #RockyHorror. I will be live tweeting again. #letsdothetimewarpagain
9 of 31
10. #THEKEYS pre order yours now ... Available everywhere #NOV22 #WeTheBest 🔑🔑🔑🔑🔑🔑🔑🔑🔑🔑🔑🔑🔑🔑🔑🔑🔑🔑🔑🔑
10 of 31
11. We about to ROCK at #KCABlackBall!! All for our life-changing effort to end 🌎 AIDS.
11 of 31
12. Today's #SNAPJACK is brought to you by @yazzthegreatest 😂😂😂💋💋💋
12 of 31
13. Damn girl you kinda old to be headed to the Go Go. You coming in at the age they leaving. LMAO
13 of 31
14. Daddy daycare B-Boxin with @acewellstucker @shopraisingace
14 of 31
15. #FBF Naviyd & URV "LIL MONSTERS"
15 of 31
16. HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ONE OF THE BIGGEST LEGENDS IN OUR HIPHOP HISTORY! @snoopdogg CONTINUED BLESSING AND LOVE FAMILY!!!!! REAL OG!
16 of 31
17. Thank you for a beautiful night VSU! Let's do it again! #HOMECOMING
17 of 31
18. Had a great time this morning with my familia Erica, Griff & Truth!!
18 of 31
19. Check out my interview on @essence facebook live. #inmyownwords #nycpromo #day2
19 of 31
20. #She💋 #tbt #TheCoveAtTheAtlantis #DawgPawsAndAll
20 of 31
21. Bae #retailtherapy
21 of 31
22. Why me and @coryhardrict got the same pose... and notee... new mouth #naked
22 of 31
23. When my husband is my personal 'hype-man'! it kills me every time! 💜😂 #WHATNOW #lostfiles📷
23 of 31
24. Diggy Simmons
24 of 31
25. Hand full of @jacquieaiche 💙💎💍 @esnail_la 💅🏾
25 of 31
26. SuperSoulers! You can watch my interview with Carl Lentz live from my Facebook page, tomorrow at 11a ET| 8a PT. #SuperSoulSunday
26 of 31
27. 💋 .. When the friendship is easy like Sunday morning. ☀️
27 of 31
28. Sunday mornings are the best........... hugs and cuddles with my angel
28 of 31
29. #huggar16 #hellohuggars
29 of 31
30. My gym is everywhere!.. #RnBMoney #TheGeneral 📸: @twelvepastseven
30 of 31
31. Nothing I would rather be doing... Rocko setting up our movie, Romelō working on a puzzle & Laiyah singing and sharing all she's learning at school... I'm so grateful for the joy they've brought into my life ... Praying for peace , joy & love in the home of EVERY family ♥️ #HeadScarfPJSunday LOL 😂
31 of 31