If you want to know what a person thinks, the best thing to do is to ask them, right? At the same time, if you’re not ready for the truth, don’t ask. Women spend much of our time talking about men, but what we think and engage about and how men really feel are not the same. On Girlfriend FM, it’s time for men – real men – to have their say.
Men often accuse women of not being good listeners, but if you want to know the truth, and I do, it’s time to listen. Brothers have something to say and a perspective that is worthwhile.
On Girlfriend FM, I have created a video series, “From the Minds of Men,” where I talk to married and single men separately, and they break down how they really feel. We discuss everything – from the dynamics of marriage, communication, interracial relationships, rejection, money, stress and social media in a relationship. (http://video.blackamericaweb.com/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=2462:from-the-mind-of-men-part-1&catid=352:from-the-mind-of-men&Itemid=342).
First up are the married men: Benny Black, who has been married for 12 years (with three children) to a non-black woman of color; Steven Dixon, married for six years, speaker and author of Men Don’t Heal, They Ho, and Skip Gates, author of How I Broke My Addiction to White Women (the Ultimate Tribute to Black Women), who’s on his third marriage.
One of the points that really stood out for me in Part One are the topics of communication and leadership from a man, which ultimately lead to security or insecurity that a woman feels within her relationship.
To be direct: It is in order for a man to lead. However, leadership comes with qualifications, not just gender. For women who have taken care of themselves for a long time, which happens to be the case for most single women, regardless of the reasons, she needs a man who can lead her in a way that enhances her quality of life because she already knows what she can do alone.
To be clear, I am not focusing on money, nor were these men. Leadership is also about physical and emotional security. Good communication leads to security; honesty leads to security; friendship leads to security. Wise decisions lead to security. Taking care of business inside and outside of the bedroom leads to security. But how can two come together unless they agree?
You see, regardless of how much money a woman makes, no matter how much stuff she has, the average woman still wants her man to take his rightful place — to fix the stuff, to eat, laugh, pray and work together, to protect and comfort her in the midnight hour. He should simply love her and allow her to love him in such a way where they can both be open, honest and naked with who they really are without judgement.
If that’s the truth that men are speaking, Listen up and stay tuned a producer on “The Tom Joyner Morning Show” and host of Girlfriend FM and Beyond the Studio celebrity interviews on BlackAmericaWeb.com. She is also a motivational speaker, actress and social commentator. She can be reached at DeyaDirect@aol.com.
Also On Black America Web:
This Week’s Celebrity Instagrams (11/26-12/2)
30 photos Launch gallery
1. Little Legend and Puddy 😍😍😍😍
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2. "You on point Phife?" "all the time,Tip". 💥 #bannedfromnormal
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3. Vegan! The Impossible burger at Crossroads
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4. Lawrence #BeforeandAfterEpisodes 1-4: 184lbs 13% body fatEpisode 8: 196lbs 8% body fat S/O @coachdaveboxing with the works outs and @kildareriordan with the nutrition
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5. Jus haaaanngin out
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6. Meanwhile back at home in Atlanta GA someone mad they not on the 🛳. 😳
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7. No limits... Photo cred: Chris Bridges @ludacris
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8. new new
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9. Apparently my 260lbs is too much for the actual vines in the Hawaiian jungles to hold me without breaking and me falling hundreds of feet. So for safety purposes, I'm forced to swing thru #Jumanjj on wires strong enough to hold 12 adult buffaloes and 1 adult Rock. #OnSet #Jumanji #IronicallyIEatBuffaloDailyForLunch #MoreManThanNatureKnowsWhatToDoWith
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10. hey ma! 🎎#wcw 💙
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11. Surprise visit to our factories!!! #GoodAmerican #USA
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13. Peachy Keen 🔥✨⚡️
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14. If this don't look thankful I don't know what does. Happy Thanksgiving to you and yours. #UltraBlessed #24kMagic #SweetPotatoFly
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15. Late nights @nbcmarlon with the writers... we in here!!!
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16. There goes my baaaaaaaaabbbbyyyyy #QueenKingMagic!!! We're up to something! Ira BIG!!! Stay out our buisness -
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17. You want to win every game you play but when you come home to these faces... who cares. #ILoveYouGirls best part of my day, everyday!
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18. Steady,steady..... full size jenga.. "I got this one "???? Or do I ?
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19. Cornrows kind of day 😉@dontaysavoy2 you convinced me and I love. ❤️️
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20. #BrotherlyLove #tbt
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22. #basel #TeamLOVE @kingcombs
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23. Just introduced a special screening of @directher 's groundbreaking (must see) documentary @13thfilm with my brother @themichaelealy | @unitedblackout #blackoutblackfriday
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24. Me & Vanessa Williams giving #DuckLips #Pose on the set of #DaytimeDivas @vh1 - Coming Soon to a tv near you. Lol. - My make up done by @makeupsurgeon
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25. This picture just makes me wanna praise the Lord, you hear me!!!!!! Yes Lord brotha #TEDDYCAMPBELL What a #man !!! You are everything right on this picture husband ......... #gorgeous #stylish #classy #strong #masculine #king #sexy #debonair #gentlemenstyle And that #bible in your hand just seals the deal for me (probably cause i know that, that is what helped you become just as amazing as you look😘). While my heart and mind experiences the goodness of God at #church on Sundays, my eyes experiences the goodness of Teddy😍. Amen somebody🙌🏽. "Bless the Lord oh my soul and all that is within me bless his holy name" #myman #myhusband #goodman #blackman #dapperman #godlyman #goodfather #mybestfriend
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26. Yesterday was my mama's 53rd birthday!!!!! Got to celebrate with her all day. If this is what I have to look forward to I can't wait. Looking like a soft bucket a cocoa butter. Yaaaaaaaaaas! 😍😍😍 love you mommy!
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27. "Shout out to @PureAtlanta for getting the family right"....I'm loving this jogger. 😍😍
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28. This pic warms my heart ❤️ #myLogiebeans and aunt aunt umba @itowandabraxton 😘
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29. You will always be my baby😜. #HappyBirthdayReginae #mybaby18
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30. GC "Gods Child" Red on Red SweatSuit available now at www.MonicaApparel.com ... Take Your Crown wherever you go!! I'm pictured in a Medium... Go to the site now for other options ... cc: @trukernell
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