Recently Engaged Comedian & First Black Lesbian SNL Writer Sam Jay Says She Just Didn’t Love the Other Women Enough to Put Up With Them

Comedian and former SNL writer the hilarious Sam Jay is on tour fresh off of her successful HBO special “Salute Me or Shoot Me.” She also has an HBO series “Pause” and a Netflix special “3 in the Morning.”

The innovative comedian is a pioneer as the first Black Lesbian to write for “Saturday Night Live.”

She sat down with radio and TV personality Jazmyn Summers to talk about her career, her love with her fiancée, and investing in Earth Club Market, a new business.

She was joined by its founder Tiffany Padilla. Earth Club is online now and will open its first restaurant in New York on February 3rd.

YOU STRUGGLE WITH AN INFLAMMATORY DISEASE CALLED LUPUS AND THAT PARTLY INSPIRED YOU TO INVEST IN EARTH CLUB AND ITS FOUNDER TIFFANY PADILLA.

I had to focus on the healthy stuff cuz I wasn’t gonna stop drinking. I met Tiffany five years ago through a friend she was dating, and. she was so cool. I started noticing her building her business, making juices in her kitchen, and her online grind. She’s a person who works really hard and puts her whole self into things. I started buying the juice and I liked the way it tastes. That’s big for me because I’m not a health nut. I can’t do it just because it’s good for me It’s got to taste good.

TIFFANY, WHAT INSPIRED EARTH CLUB?

This is my healthy global cuisine from traveling around the world. We launched something a little different to help everybody achieve their health goals. Like Sam Jay said, the great thing about our offerings is it’s not just super focused on nutrition, it also adds flavor. And the best part is everything is all-natural, all fresh, and that’s what we pride ourselves on.

NOW WE’RE TASTING THIS PINK PINEAPPLE PIZZA; THE PINEAPPLE IS ONE OF SAM’S FAVORITES. RIGHT?

SAM: Pink pineapple is a hot commodity, like a Banana Backwood (cigar).

TIFFANY: We serve the pink pineapple pizza at our Fresh Kitchen restaurant with some basil, tomato mozzarella, and a gluten-free crust. But at the same time, if you’re a carnivore and you like some meat in your life, we have protein that you can add on top of that. We’re also tasting some Orange Vision juice, which is pineapple, carrot, orange, turmeric and ginger lime. Like our other juices, the biggest thing is the anti-inflammatories. So whatever illness you have, whether it be aching bones or even acne or just to stay healthy the juices will take away that inflammation in your body, which will allow it to focus on the things that need healing.

YOU ARE KNOWN AS THE FIRST OPENLY LESBIAN BLACK WRITER FOR SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE AND THE SECOND BLACK LESBIAN TO BE INVOLVED IN THE SHOW OVERALL (DANITRA VANCE WAS CAST OVER 32 YEARS AGO). HOW DOES IT FEEL TO BE A PIONEER?

We hang too much on being the first and if I was the first, it’s more of a shame than an accolade for me because it was g**damn 2018. It’s weird when we use it as a badge of honor when this actually is frustration. And sometimes they really get into the minutiae like ‘you’re the first Black lesbian, purple shirt wearing, left-handed person. What the f** are we doing bro?!

WHAT WAS IT LIKE BEING THE ONLY ONE IN THOSE WRITERS’ ROOMS?

It was like being a Black lesbian person anywhere else that I go. You’re a minority so you’re walking into most places being the only one to represent what you are representing. But I go into spaces just trying to be authentic and the best at what I’m trying to accomplish. Were there times when my voice wasn’t understood? Yes. Did I feel slighted by SNL because of it? No. Did I feel slighted by America as a society and how the sh*t is? Yeah, but I feel that way every f**king day. I was there two, three years ago now and I look at the writing staff now, the cast now, the language now, and I can’t help but feel somewhat a part of ushering in that energy that still gets to live in the show.

WHY COMEDY?

Art is important. Comedy specifically provides a space to be critical of society. It’s a freedom to be unabashed. It’s important because it allows us to turn a mirror on ourselves as individuals and as a society. A lot of other art forms don’t get to be that free.

DID YOU ALWAYS KNOW YOU WERE GOING TO BE A COMIC?

I’ve always had some level of a combination of being some level of a cynic and some level of an asshole. Even since I was a child, I was a kid that everybody wanted to beat. I wasn’t a bad kid. I just had a smart mouth.

IS THERE A TIME IN YOUR LIFE WHEN HUMOR GOT YOU THROUGH A DIFFICULT SITUATION?

I don’t know if there was just one particular time. I’m always laughing. I’m always feeling all my feelings. I don’t shut myself off from anything emotionally. It’s like when someone dies in your family and you go to the funeral and you go to the repast, you cry, you laugh, you cry again, you joke, you cry and laugh at the same f***ing time. All those emotions are living together. I think when you start cutting yourself off from things you feel you start to find yourself in a bad place.

YOU’RE VERY HUMBLE ABOUT YOUR SUCCESS. WHY?

I’m nothing we all can’t be. I guess that’s where the humility comes in. I didn’t graduate from some superschool. I didn’t go to Harvard like a lot of m*thaf*ckas that write on SNL did. I woke up one day. I looked at my life. I decided I wanted it to be different. I decided I had gifts and I wanted to contribute them.. Bro, everybody got the power to f**king change their lives. I came from poverty. I was raised in the projects. My father did crack, my brother went to jail, my mother died when I was 16 years old. I’ve been through the gambit of life. You can just start to make some choices and you will set yourself on a path to change. You have that power. Nothing controls that.

YOU HAVE THIS HILARIOUS BIT ON BEING TIRED OF BEING THE MAN. WHAT’S THAT ABOUT?

I didn’t say I was going back to sucking D I was just saying it’s easier.

BESIDES HELPING TO BUILD A NEW BUSINESS, WHAT’S NEXT FOR YOU? YOU CALLED ON EVERYONE TO HUG A THUG IN 2024 WHY?

Because everybody needs hugs. Everybody needs a little love. Just be a little nicer out here. I’m gonna be on the road, got a lot of dates coming up: Memphis, Philly…some places I don’t want to go to so I won’t mention them. I’m going to be hitting Europe up a little bit, touring, developing new shows, writing, loving hard, and listening more. This is a year for me of like, family sh**. I did all this stuff to build my career and it’s time to circle back and deal with some some family stuff.

WHAT ARE SOME OF YOUR GOALS WITH FAMILY?

More peace, more understanding. With therapy, I’m focusing on how to be a good partner. I grew up with a close, big family. My grandma had a lot of kids and a lot can go wrong in a big family. I want to figure out how to make all that sh*t right. It’s time to just mend all that and either talk about it and decide we ain’t f**king with each other, or talk about it and move on to what’s next

YOU ARE ENGAGED NOW TO THE BADDIE YANISE MONET AFTER OVER 10 YEARS OF BEING TOGETHER. WHAT IS THE SECRET TO KEEPING THAT LOVE ALIVE AND STRONG?

Just working at it and choosing it every day. Being in love with a person and knowing you’re not going to like everything about them, but weighing the things you do like about them and deciding that the person is worth the sh*t. I just really, really love my fiancée. I loved her from the day I met her. I love the sh*t out of her. As foul as it sounds, I just really wasn’t in love with them other b**ches. They didn’t do anything wrong. Back in the moment, I was thinking about making up all this sh*t that they were doing to justify leaving. But my fiancée be doing all the same shit and she do a lot of it. In all the years of us being together. I’ve seen all these different personality traits that I claimed that I would never tolerate and I’m sure she’s seen it with me but I just love her so I tolerate it or I try to figure it out, or I dig deeper to understand why she’s doing it. I didn’t love the other women enough to figure them out. I didn’t want to get in the trenches with them to maybe try to fix it.

IS THAT WHAT HAPPENED WITH YOUR EX-WIFE?

I called my ex-wife and told her I realized it had nothing to do with you so she could be free. Like you didn’t do anything wrong. I just wasn’t feeling you enough to deal with it. Nothing is wrong with you shawty. You just gotta find the person that’s right for you. And it was not me. You didn’t do anything wrong. I just didn’t want to tolerate it because I wasn’t invested enough in you.

DO YOU HAVE A DATE FOR THE WEDDING?

Absolutely not. I’ll figure It out. We’ll get there.

Earth Club’s Fresh Kitchen will have its grand opening at the Dean in New York on February 3rd from 10am-4pm. You can follow Sam Jay and keep up with tour dates on her Instagram.

Catch the full interview above and laugh with us. We had so much fun.

Article and interview by Jazmyn Summers. Photos and video by Sean Bell. Please don’t forget to subscribe to her YouTube.  Follow her @jaztalk1 on Instagram  and Facebook.