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Felipe Esparza decided to go vegan in 2011 but he was doing it wrong! In the beginning he didn’t really know what to do or what to eat, so he decided to fill up on cheese and diet cokes. He says he didn’t eat anything green or drink a drop of water.

The first few weeks were terrible! He says he ended up having “to take a Lamaze class” because he couldn’t go to the restroom for 5 days! Then came his very first hemorrhoids, he says that “felt like being assaulted by a ghost at night.”

He’s so glad those days are behind him and he knows how to eat vegan now. Shopping for hemorrhoid medicine was worse than shopping for cold sore medicine.

This weekend he’s in Dallas at the Arlington Improv.