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Season 4 of “Iyanla: Fix My Life” resumes September 30 and this time around her focus is largely on Black men.

Incarceration, sexual abuse, and infidelity are just some of the issues Iyanla Vanzant will tackle with various groups of men throughout the season, Madame Noire reports.

When it comes to infidelity, Vanzant says:

“I have a different concept of cheating than most people,” she explained during a phone interview with Madame Noire. “Most people think you cheated on me, you hurt my feelings, it’s something they get crazy about. For me, cheating is a broken agreement; it’s a betrayal of trust; it’s a violation of self-value.”

Adding, “For me, when a person in a relationship commits infidelity, it’s telling me something about that person. It doesn’t have anything to do with me. My question becomes, is this the kind of person I want to be with — a man who doesn’t honor his word, who doesn’t keep his agreements, who breaks his commitments, and who doesn’t value my trust? Is that the kind of person I want to be with?”

During the interview, she also touched on Kevin Hart’s marital drama and how his ex-wife Torrei never properly “healed,” which is why she has taken to social media to lash out.

“Talking about your hurt is a very valuable process toward healing; talking publicly about your hurt in a way that damages someone else, that’s a different story,” Vanzant said when asked her thoughts on the matter. “I always say that the only thing that can destroy a relationship is within the relationship. Relationships are never destroyed from the outside in; they’re always destroyed from the inside out. Ex-Mrs. Hart obviously hasn’t healed; she hasn’t done her work.”

Vanzant shared the one question she’d ask Torrei for going public with her past infidelity issues with Kevin.


“What is her intention for sharing this information and is that about him or is that about her?”

As far as Kevin is concerned, Vanzant says: “He said it, you got a target on your back brother, and you need to be a demonstration and a model for who you are as a Black man.”

Vanzant said if given the opportunity, she’d ask Kevin this very serious question:

“This is what I ask men who cheat: Would you want somebody to do this to your mother or your daughter? And if you don’t want somebody to do it to your mother or your daughter, don’t do it, because the sins of the father befall the children. How would he feel if his daughter’s husband did this? Many men can’t speak to their son-in-laws about [cheating] because they do it. They deliver the same grief upon their daughters as they did upon their mothers, so that’s what I would offer all men, Kevin included.”

“Iyanla: Fix My Life” returns September 30 at 9:00 pm ET/PT on OWN: Oprah Winfrey Network.

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(Photo Credit: Courtesy of Iyanla)

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18 thoughts on “Iyanla Vanzant Says Torrei Hart ‘Hasn’t Healed, Hasn’t Done Her Work’

  1. I think Torrei is handling this situation the best way she can. And she’s using the media attention to market her new hair care business. That’s a smart move on her part. If you want to interview me about my ex and his current issues, you have to mention my new business venture(s). I think she’s sees the media attention as a financial again for her just as Kevin used their life as a financial gain for him.

    • So…having said that (yes, I’m replying to my own original comment), I would go on Iyanla’s show and let her ‘fix me’ so long as she agreed to promote my hair care line during the show. Play the game, baby, play the game!

  2. ResponsibilityInControl on said:

    This Iyanla character is a JOKE and her show! You are exploiting your community to make a dollar. We need to see her for who and what she really is, a SNAKE! Secondly who is she to fix anyone’s life? Seems as though its nothing but talking, she doesnt actually fix anything, and for you believers of her, why isnt it that she goes to the inner city find a struggling single mother or recovering addict or a released convict that is trying to get his or her life back on track. Why is she not there trying to “Fix their Lives” ……………………….simple there is no money in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  3. Actually, I think she is right, which is why I said that Usher’s wife had the best response when asked about her ex and his herpes saga. Torrie has recently allowed herself to be used by the media (in my opionion) by doing interviews and talking about what she and K.H. went through during their marriage. It was obvious to me that she is still dealing with a lot of hurt because I would not be giving interviews about my ex Everyone knows he cheated, so why keep talking about it. Keep it moving because life will bring you full circle and the hurt that K.H. has dished out so lavishly will also come back to hurt him. Again, just my opinion.

    • specialt757 on said:

      I agree, I definitely wouldn’t let the media use me to write their narrative. Maybe Torrei just doesn’t want to be forgotten, but the more she stays out of the media, which includes social media talking about her personal life, the faster she can heal. All this can’t be easy for her.

      • I agree with you both! Maybe there was a financial benefit in it for her, or more likely, maybe she kind of feels “vindicated” in some way now that he’s done to the new wife the same thing that he did to her. Either way, as long as she keeps reliving it, she’ll never fully heal. Just as you said, Kevin will get his…one way or the other.

  4. Kneesee23 on said:

    Ivanya needs to shut it down. Torrie has been trying to be the respectful grownup throughout this entire ordeal. She’s been pictured attempting to co-parent the ‘blended’ family, regardless if she felt like it or not. Kevin is the entire blame her. I resent Ivanya trying to publically address Torrei. As a women, sometimes you may have to lash out if you are constantly reminded through the media, pictures, TV, etc. of the mistress-turned-pregnant wife as a ‘rib’ in your face for all to see…. Torrie was dragged into this drama – Leave her alone…. #TeamTorrei

    • dontworryaboutwhoiam on said:

      I agree with you Kneesee23. Ivanya just looking out for those pockets. Torrei is doing just fine without Ivanya getting in her business and making it worse.

    • Exactly! When Eniko called her out on that Instagram post a few weeks ago, Torrei ignored it at first, and then when she finally did comment, she specifically said that she was under the impression that they were in a better place as co-parents than they obviously are. Eniko is an immature little sh*t starter, and if Iyanla wanted to call anybody out, maybe it should have been her. Iyanla needs to take a stadium full of seats…

  5. Passing Through! on said:

    That’s why I never watch her show, it’s shameful the way she exploits people who are in a bad place. People like and Steve Harvey these know-it-alls who are supposed to have all of the answers to life, love and relationships but can’t fix their own s**t.

  6. Torrei Hart wasn’t a guest on her little whack show, so why is she even calling her out like that? She should also be aware that Kevin Hart himself publicized his own infidelities by using them in his stand-up routine years ago. Perhaps it is true that Torrei hasn’t completely healed, but I also doubt that she’ll be calling on Iyanla to help her “Fix Her Life”. 🙄😒

    • specialt757 on said:

      Haha you’re right Leslie. Torrei should call on someone to help her get through her pain. It doesn’t help that Kevin’s new relationship is ALWAYS all over the media. This new person is living the life her and Kevin probably once spoke about living and now he’s doing it with someone else. It might not be as difficult to get over if it wasn’t a public relationship, but every time she wakes up, she’s reminded, that can’t be good.

      • I agree specialt. It has to be tough enough to go through this type of thing in the public eye, but the fact that her ex’s new wife seems to relish in rubbing her nose in things via Instagram definitely doesn’t help the situation, and I don’t think the way that he handled things helped either. I’m still remembering how he proposed to Eniko on her birthday, and posted “She said Yes!!!” at the exact same moment that Torrei was making her television debut. She was actually on-screen crying about the loss of her marriage…now fast-forward to her birthday a few years later, and instead of putting a huge rock on Eniko’s finger for her special day, he was putting….well, you know…something in someone else.😑 I do have a funny feeling that maybe Eniko won’t be quite as arrogant now that she too has been scorned by Kevin…

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