Season 4 of “Iyanla: Fix My Life” resumes September 30 and this time around her focus is largely on Black men.
Incarceration, sexual abuse, and infidelity are just some of the issues Iyanla Vanzant will tackle with various groups of men throughout the season, Madame Noire reports.
When it comes to infidelity, Vanzant says:
“I have a different concept of cheating than most people,” she explained during a phone interview with Madame Noire. “Most people think you cheated on me, you hurt my feelings, it’s something they get crazy about. For me, cheating is a broken agreement; it’s a betrayal of trust; it’s a violation of self-value.”
Adding, “For me, when a person in a relationship commits infidelity, it’s telling me something about that person. It doesn’t have anything to do with me. My question becomes, is this the kind of person I want to be with — a man who doesn’t honor his word, who doesn’t keep his agreements, who breaks his commitments, and who doesn’t value my trust? Is that the kind of person I want to be with?”
“Talking about your hurt is a very valuable process toward healing; talking publicly about your hurt in a way that damages someone else, that’s a different story,” Vanzant said when asked her thoughts on the matter. “I always say that the only thing that can destroy a relationship is within the relationship. Relationships are never destroyed from the outside in; they’re always destroyed from the inside out. Ex-Mrs. Hart obviously hasn’t healed; she hasn’t done her work.”
Vanzant shared the one question she’d ask Torrei for going public with her past infidelity issues with Kevin.
“What is her intention for sharing this information and is that about him or is that about her?”
As far as Kevin is concerned, Vanzant says: “He said it, you got a target on your back brother, and you need to be a demonstration and a model for who you are as a Black man.”
Vanzant said if given the opportunity, she’d ask Kevin this very serious question:
“This is what I ask men who cheat: Would you want somebody to do this to your mother or your daughter? And if you don’t want somebody to do it to your mother or your daughter, don’t do it, because the sins of the father befall the children. How would he feel if his daughter’s husband did this? Many men can’t speak to their son-in-laws about [cheating] because they do it. They deliver the same grief upon their daughters as they did upon their mothers, so that’s what I would offer all men, Kevin included.”
“Iyanla: Fix My Life” returns September 30 at 9:00 pm ET/PT on OWN: Oprah Winfrey Network.
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(Photo Credit: Courtesy of Iyanla)