Leave a comment

If you’ve never had a moment in your life where you self sabotaged, you may want to stop reading this. This information is only for those of us who have made choices, intentionally or unconsciously that hindered our forward movement.

Some examples of how I have minimized my progress are:

– I didn’t make a phone call that could’ve advanced my career because I talked myself out of doing it.  (And ended up doing some “busy” work instead)

– I had an idea that I knew was really, really good, but before I discussed it with anyone else, I convinced myself of the reasons it would never work.  (Come on, I am NOT the only one that’s done this)

– I settled for less than what I really wanted.  (This speaks to so many areas of self sabotaging…)

I have done all of the above and more.  The best way I can describe my form of self sabotage is through an analogy. I was like an Olympic sprinter who would come in first place for all of my races. Then in the Olympics, right before I would cross the finish line to win the gold medal, I would stop and let everyone cross in front of me. Then I would get mad when they didn’t come back and help me cross the finish line. The truth is… that was not their responsibility.  I had everything I needed and had worked hard enough to cross the finish line on my own. But I would self sabotage.

I would convince myself that helping other people cross before me was the right thing to do.  After all, I am a life strategist.  I am gifted to help other people succeed.  And yes, this is right, but not the truth.  The truth is I am supposed to cross the finish line first and then lead others by example.  I can help more people when I help myself first.  So can you!!!! 

Sometimes our victory isn’t from crossing the finish line first.  Sometimes what makes us winners is CROSSING the finish line, period.  When all we really wanted to do was quit.

Self sabotaging is different from quitting.  Quitting means you choose to come completely out of the game.  When you self sabotage, you are still in the game, you are just hindering your own success.

To overcome self sabotaging, I had to TRULY believe in myself.  This is more than just confidence in my abilities or being driven to succeed.  This is a deep rooted belief that allowed me to stand for myself, while carrying the weight of others. 

I had to overcome what Marianne Williamson identifies as our deepest fear.  She shares that our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.  Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.

I realized that I made many choices in my life that minimized my achievements because to win means I have to live in the fullness of ME and ALL that GOD ordained me to BE.  And that was just a little too frightening.

I have grown to understand that I don’t have to have all the answers, do everything perfectly, win every battle or even overcome every fear.  Many times to win, all I need is a little more courage than fear.  I just need a little more hope to keep pressing when I want to quit.  And there are those moments, when I just need to go to bed and get some rest. 

Here are seven keys I’ve discovered that allow me to cross my finish line every time. 

7 Keys to stop self sabotaging

  1. Declare what you want
  2. Make achieving it nonnegotiable
  3. Accept that everything you need is inside of you
  4. Discern who you allow to join your journey
  5. Stop complaining
  6. Appreciate the lessons
  7. Express gratitude for the victories

There are so many moments in my life where I could have accomplished more and achieved it faster, but I made choices that self sabotaged my achievements.

Leave me a comment below and let me know how this article has helped you identify how you self sabotage.


About the Author  

Sheri Riley

Sheri Riley

Empowerment Speaker, Life Strategist, Author

I am a wife, mother, daughter, and entrepreneur and we all know this is not easy, but I’ve discovered how to make it simple. As an Empowerment Speaker and Life Strategist, I work with busy individuals, like us, on how to and make choices that lead to more peace, less stress, and better clarity. My book, Exponential LivingStop Spending 100% of Your Time on 10% of Who You Are (Penguin Random House) provides practical tools and serves as the guide to help high achievers to integrate our personal desires into our life without detriment to our professional achievement. It is available now for pre-order on and on sale February 7, 2017.

14 thoughts on “7 Keys to Stop Self-Sabotaging!

  1. I found it to be on point, truthful and dynamic! We have to believe in ourselves if we want others to believe in us! If we are not sold ourselves, why should other’s be?

  2. astith on said:

    This is one of the best articles published…something very positive and uplifting. At my age, I held myself back because of my age. I did start doing the work, but I hindered my journey to prosperity (not just talking about $$). After reading this, not only will I buy her book, but I will continue on with doing my work, which is what God has been telling me all along.

  3. Needed this today. Thank you Sheri for, once again, perfectly identifying common obstacles AND providing practical solutions. Oftentimes we want to blame circumstances but it starts from within.

  4. FRANCES on said:

    Oh my this is me reading this made me see this is me. I have held myself back because I always felt I was worth it, or that I couldn’t make it. I’m always willing to learn and do more but others always go ahead of me. I have put my self worth up on the shelf and it’s collecting dust I want to take it down and dust it off but that old fear always creeps right back in. Reading this helps to realize that I can do what ever that I can take the lead even I first don’t succeed to keep trying don’t give up. I can stop letting others go ahead of me I should step out be the leader God want me to be. Thank you for this it’s and eye opener.

  5. Beverly Thorpe on said:

    Thank you soooo much for this article. As I sit typing this comment with tears in my eyes I am really beginning to realize that I have been a self sabotager and I have held my ownself back because I have always thought I wasn’t good enough or smart enough to succeed or have the best that GOD has to offer.

  6. TechDiva95 on said:

    God is always on time and with the message I need. My job is be brave enough to still the world’s distractions so I can listen, and this article proves my point. I’ve been anxious about start my life’s third act and I’m reminded not only am I a survior… but I can be fearless. It’s simply a choice.

    • TechDiva95 on said:

      I was so excited I totally muddled my spelling in the first post, so here goes my thought in a sensible manner:
      “God is always on time and with the message I need. My job is to be brave enough to quiet the world’s distractions so I can listen. This article proves my point. I’ve been anxious about starting my life’s third act and I’m reminded not only am I a survivor… but I can be fearless. It’s simply a choice.”

  7. This was a blessing to my spirit, and perfectly timed I might add! Knowing how great God intends for you to be and then being afraid to pursue that greatness without fear or shame…this is indeed a struggle. At 42 years young I am just coming into my own, not just realizing how valuable I really am but being comfortable yet BOLD enough to make sure that everyone else knows too. Not by boasting but by my actions, the way that I carry myself…you know, like a boss! Bless you for this, you have no idea…

  8. Oh my, this is just the encouragement I needed after self remorse of goals I should have accomplished by now but allowed fear to gold me back. Thanks for this article because it’s never too late to go for your dreams. Remember God is always there to carry you through!

  9. this article really spoke to me. Thank you for sharing. I realize that i could be farther along in my journey had I not let fear take hold.

Add Your Comment

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s