It’s the most wonderful time of the year…unless you’re single. Then it’s the time when you head to the mall and all it is loving couples holding hands and adorable families shopping for Christmas trees and gifts and the realization cuffing season has passed you by.
It’s the time when you know you will once again be the single girl/guy at the office holiday party and won’t have a date to bring home for the holidays so you’ll be pressed by your parents, cousins, aunties and uncles as to why someone as pretty/good-looking/handsome/smart/accomplished as you doesn’t have a significant other.
So what do you do, especially if you’re wondering the same thing? Here’s our list of how to survive the holidays as a single.
1.Find an escort for the holidays – No, we don’t mean a paid one. Do you have a good platonic friend that doesn’t mind standing in for a “real” date? Maybe you know someone else who’s also single who also needs a stand-in holiday date. When folks ask you who he/she is, you can always just look shy and say ‘We’re just getting to know each other,’ or something equally vague. That way, you get most of the year to actually find someone without nosy family and friends butting in.
Brandy’s single – maybe she’s free for a holiday date?
There are people who have it worse than you during the holidays. Instead of focusing on your sad, single status, maybe volunteering at a homeless shelter, soup kitchen or building a home with Habitat for Humanity would help you get through the holidays without feeling sorry for yourself. You can find places to volunteer HERE.
Volunteering makes everyone happy!
If your cooking skills are up to par, offer to cook for the holidays. Once you put together an amazing menu of mouth-watering foods for the family, you won’t be asked as much about your relationship status, because no one will want to offend you and miss out on free food. Also, if you offer to take over the cooking from the member of your family who’s been doing it every year for the last 20-30 years, they’ll probably be so grateful, they will make sure nobody bothers you about your single status. If you cooking skills are suspect, offer to bring some desserts and liquor. That should head off any questions, because folks will either be enjoying their sugar high or be too buzzed to bother with you.
If you can cook like Patti Labelle, you won’t ever have to worry about anyone asking about your love life.
If you really don’t want to be seen as the sad, perpetually single guy or girl, then you can always lie. Social media can help. Find a hot dude or chick on Instagram or some other site and copy his/her pics onto your social media pages. If you’re good with Photoshop, you can make the pics even more credible or at least good enough to fool Aunt Beneatha who hasn’t had a man since The Vietnam War, but stays on your butt about when you’re going to get one. Or, you can invent a tragic love story of how you finally found the right one but sadly, he or she has is deathly ill/in the hospital/just deployed/recently deceased. I’m not saying this is the way you should go, but if it makes things easier for you, well, you have it as an option.
His name is Broderick Hunter. He could be yours….but only via social media.
Instagram model Tanaya Henry…..pretty, right?
Now, this all depends on the kind of family you have. If you have the kind of family that appreciates witty banter, and can handle the dozens and a good clapback, then a flippant response to a nosy question might work. But if you have the kind of family where a fresh mouth can still get you slapped into next week even if you’re 40, you might consider if deflection is truly the best idea. We’re not responsible for any beatings administered because you didn’t correctly identify which family you come from. But here’s few clapbacks left over from Thanksgiving that you can use if need be.
6. Go on vacation
If you really can’t face life as a single during the holiday season, head somewhere where summer is endless. That way you don’t have to get choked up over White Christmas family commercials and you can forget about the holiday season altogether. Plan a girlfriend getaway trip or a mancation if you have a few single friends that can go with you. Or just go it alone. Yes, its peak vacation/getaway season but there are still some deals around. Airbnb, Priceline.com and Kayak.com can help you plan a last-minute holiday getaway.
Inspiration: Travel Noire
7. Offer to babysit while someone else goes on vacation
If the idea of spending the holidays without children makes you depressed, then just borrow someone else’s. You may have a relative or be tight with the female or male half of a couple that are desperate to get away at some point during the holiday season, if only someone would watch their kids. No, it may not be during Christmas, which is kind of a big family holiday, but could be for New Year’s, so you won’t have to face your depressing loneliness as everyone else is celebrating the New Year with their bae. Not only will you get to have fun with kids you can give back, you’ll likely make some harried parents happy, too.
8. Sleep through it
Holidays can be the best time of year for anyone who’s single and sleep-deprived. And who isn’t? The holiday season often means long, uninterrupted days when you don’t have to answer to anyone from work and you don’t have to be bothered at all if you don’t want to be. That means catching up on that good book, or that alone time you never get because you’re so busy or just getting all those missed zzzzz’s from the last few months.
9. Just hook up
It’s the holidays and it’s possible that there is someone out there who also missed the memo that cuffing season has arrived. You might already know who it is and while he/she is not someone you plan to spend the holidays with in the future, you can always offer a little Netflix and chill for the holiday season. This way, you can avoid nosy questions entirely and still have a little Christmas cheer. Just don’t get your feelings involved and make sure that he/she knows that this is just a temporary thing that has a definite expiration date.
Blac Chyna and Future master the ‘We’re both single, so….” attitude
10. Own it
Well, you can always just take it in stride. Accept every invite, put on your best gear, grab a friend if you can, and if you can’t, just dress up and show up. Be gracious, be funny and throughly enjoy the holiday as a singleton. Sure your Aunt Pam and Uncle Jarvis have been together forever, but you know they’re miserable. Yeah, your cousin is still with her high school sweetheart and loves to brag about it, but she’s the only one who doesn’t know about his multiple other women. Yeah, being the single bachelor has gotten lonely but your married brothers think you’re living it up with multiple women. They don’t know you spend most nights curled up under the down comforter in your boxers watching The First 48 and Law and Order and playing XBox. Bring some good cheer and some presents for the kids and embrace the Christmas/holiday spirit. Maybe a difference in attitude about your status might help change it. And you never know who might show up at a holiday party….