Jacque Reid talks to Yasmin Eleby, the Houston, TX native who married herself for her 40th birthday. It’s a practice actually called sologamy and while Eleby is not the first to do it, social media has catapulted her into a national spotlight.
Eleby says that despite the backlash from folks who have said she’s lonely or desperate, she saw the ceremony as a way to express love but in a non-traditional way.
“I wanted to have this wedding as an expression of self love and to acknowledge the 40 years hat God has blessed me with. I didn’t want people to make a mockery of marriage or a wedding so I invited three ministers to speak on the topic of forgiveness, honor and love,” Eleby says. “I made vows to myself to do just that – forgive, honor and love myself just as I am, a uniquely wonderful person created by God.”
Eleby did have a traditional ceremony with her family in full support. She had ten bridesmaids and yes, there is a ring involved – a diamond and amethyst eternity band.
“I have had my dream day,” says Eleby. “Whenever my husband finds me, it’s going to be all about him.”
Eleby says she’s still looking for love, so the ceremony doesn’t mean that she’s given up on it entirely. In fact, among the guests were two of Eleby’s exes. What did they think of the ceremony?
‘They thought it was something that I would do. They were not surprised about it at all,”Eleby says.
Eleby, a Houston native who held the wedding in her hometown, lives and works in Saudi Arabia as a kindergarten teacher.
She is dating a man who fully supported her non-traditional wedding, so there might be more weddings in Eleby’s future. There were elements of her wedding that reflected the usual union – Eleby had a cake with her initials on top instead of a the figures of a couple. But she didn’t ask for gifts because she lives abroad which makes it difficult to transport certain items. As for her wedding night, Eleby says “When you’re alone, you can make as much noise as you want to.”
As for the purple gown, she says that was just a personal preference.
“Purple is my favorite color. I never really thought about wearing white,” Eleby said.
(Photo Source: Courtesy of Black Art In America)