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So, the Kanye West-Kim Kardashian media machine continues to pump out news and controversy.


And knowing this—that it is a well-oiled media engine designed to provoke attention and mass reaction—it bothers me that I’m forced to take the bait and talk about the controversial couple when I probably should be  talking about something a bit more substantial.


But with Kanye’s latest musical release, “My Perfect B- – – -” (and no, I’m not going to spell out the actual title for you), and Kardashian’s reported flattery over the project which Kanye originally said was written for her, I feel compelled to speak out on this nonsense.


The unpredictable Kanye has made a career off of talent, music and controversy, and the more predictable Kardashian has made a career off of… off of…  …???


Anyway, the two are certainly no strangers to controversy and to benefitting from the controversies they often initiate.


A recent article in The Root by Danielle Moodie-Mills talked about the attention-seeking couple raising the question: “Is misogyny–or woman hating– the new "I love you?”


The piece referred to the Rihanna and Chris Brown saga; the associated stream of tweets from young girls saying they would have "let Chris beat" them; reality shows like "The Bachelor", where women degrade themselves and each other competing for one man; and the song Kanye wrote for Kardashian, as being examples of a changing “social consciousness on a national scale” where it’s now “acceptable for love to hurt…”


Is this really where we are? Is it now en vogue to teach our daughters that their goal in life is to become the “perfect b….?”

The article goes on to wonder if we can ever reclaim the “type of love where your partner's sweet whispers don't rhyme with the word "itch," and making a sex tape isn't synonymous with sending a Hallmark card.”


I'm not gonna even begin to suggest what the name of that holiday would be.


The point is no matter how much media in general has tried to mainstream the process of degrading women, and no matter how many misled women have sadly bought into this, we have to keep challenging those who call us out of our names and those who profit from it.


Because if we get tired and stop doing this, our silence becomes acceptance. Instead of further feeding these media engines that profit from our reactions, let’s stop buying and supporting the artists and companies engaged in this female-hatin’ behavior.


No one can make us hate ourselves unless we buy into the process. No one can make us into the “Perfect B” if we refuse to see ourselves that way. Text us here at 64-64-64 to let me know how you feel.


Let’s insist on a higher standard for ourselves.


I leave you with the dignified –and dignifying–words of Maya Angelou:

When you see me passing

It ought to make you proud.

I say, it's in the click of my heels,

The bend of my hair,

the palm of my hand,

The need of my care,

'Cause I'm a woman


Phenomenal woman,

That's me.

Until next time, this is Stephanie in love and hope.


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9 thoughts on “Is Hurt the New Love?

  1. mydoi4u1 on said:

    Send a boy to school and you educate one person.
    Send a girl to school and you educate a community
    ~ African Proverb
    I think it’s time to send our girls back to the “old” school of respecting themselves.

  2. navi12 on said:

    Send these artists, companies and advertisers a message….enough is enough! Gullible individuals are out here taking cues on how to treat women from the aforementioned. The ones who degrade women need massive amounts of “oops upside your head”. Lust prevails nowadays, Love got put into a museum.

  3. blackmagic on said:

    We live in a world of hurt, yet when we cause pain, we blame reality…..short memories on first down and head buttn like a female had nothing to do with it of course.

  4. jimmyg on said:

    Ladies admit it.You are like cats ready to scratch somebodys eyes out.You are the first to call each other bi””””””.My daughters learn from Basketball Wives how to be a certified bi”””.So,if you act like a b”””.There is somebody ready to treat you like a gold plated,for real,bitch..Check out those bi””””””es on Jerry,Jerry Springer….

  5. One day in class my world history Professor said as a woman I’m sad to say that we now live in a time that if a woman takes her clothes off she gets paid more then me. Then she said but I have something for that, I’m gonna go somewhere and take my clothes off and get paid by people to put them back on. Funny & not funny.

  6. donica lewis on said:

    Love is patient,love is kind, love is true. Love is not quick to anger remember that.It feels good to know someones loves you.

  7. wellsk1959 on said:

    I’m the father of two sons. I constantly tell them that they should treat girls and women with respect. We have to start teaching them these lessons as soon as they are able to understand that they are special in our eyes and in God’s eyes. Not only do we need to instill this message to our daughters, but to our sons, too. They should not be swayed by some girl with a nice body and acid personality. That is how we can combat this epidemic of guys calling their girlfriends the word that rhymes with witches.

  8. RKearns on said:

    Speaking as a mother of a 17 year old, we must raise our daughters to have values, morals, self-worth and common sense. I will admit that it does gets very challenging when the slut of the day gets more recognition and accolades than a young women whose doing positive things with her life. But keep pressing mothers AND FATHERS, never stop showing your daughters that your values are the ones that will have the most positive impact on her life in the long run.

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