COMMENTARY: Is Baby Mama Baggage Inevitable With Age?

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“Dwyane Wade is offering to pay only some of what he owes me if I sign an agreement never again to discuss what happened in our marriage or with our children. I refuse,” she told the Chicago Sun-Times. “I finally told Carr I just wanted to end the case and keep my freedom and my voice. I told him I didn’t want anything from Dwyane. The judge demanded the trial continue. I couldn’t believe it.”

And she never passes up an opportunity to take a public dig at Wade.

So for many black women, who are getting older, who meet men they may want to marry, is it worth it to get serious about a man with a child – or children?

I’m just asking the question. There are many relationships that are working nicely with stepmothers across America – and there are many that are absolute hell.

I am not passing judgment on Wade or Union. I’m simply suggesting that as black women get older, there’s a greater chance of meeting a black man with a child from a previous marriage or relationship.

For some black women, dating a man with a child – or children – could be a deal-breaker in a new relationship.

Meanwhile, Gabrielle Union seems to have moved past the baby-mama drama. She and Wade spent last week in the Bahamas partying with friends.

What do you think?

(Photos: PRPhotos)

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33 thoughts on “COMMENTARY: Is Baby Mama Baggage Inevitable With Age?

  1. Black women insulting black men & black men insulting black women online is getting extremely OLD & PLAYED OUT for 2014. Have an intelligent debate without insults.

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  3. Everybody have to be responsible for their own actions. A man in love is not going to take a break from his woman, and put a baby in another one. She has been with him since 2009, and he didn’t even bother to put a ring on her finger until weeks after the baby was born. Wade is saying that the baby is a blessing. That means that he is going to continue sleeping with the other woman. He clearly have feelings for her. Gabby, since you are cool with that; you should get tested on a regular basis.

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  5. Some men do not care who they lay with, as long as they are sticking it to someone. And some women are so desperate that they will lay with anyone whether money is involved or not just to have a male specie around. All in all some people are just NASTY!!!!!!!!!

  6. This is not an “AGE” thing, its a black thing. Only black men do this. You don’t see white male athletes or any white male for that matter with this issue. Black men are just humping animals. So annoying!!!

    • Tom Brady and Brian Urlacher both have children with multiple women both are white, but I guess that’s the Black mans fault too lol. Many sisters are delusional when it comes to the White man.

    • I have come to the ultimate conclusion that black men are CURSED!!It is in the Bible–The curse of Ham is upon them!!God help us black women who gets the brunt of it!!

      • The curse of Ham was created by a jewish Rabbi to explain why black people were cursed black. I have no clue where you got your story from.

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  8. WOW he has a separation from Ms, union and makes a baby, I thought separation was a time for reflection and learning something about yourself. not making a baby? someone please explain it to me. why this is such a blessing to D. wade, how can he even say that this was a blessing. and why is that woman allowing him to have sex with her, without using any protection, and MS. Union please protect yourself, because that woman has had some other partners too, because she has other children. this sleeping around and making babies, is that what we are teaching our culture of children and you have young people looking up to D. wade.. We live in a messed up America. where you have the baby first and then get married. Yes and the woman is also responsible. just be careful who your sleeping with … Get tested.. Please.

  9. Thank you for that reply taylormi. However, you are not the exception. there are plenty of men just like you who do everything within their power to raise their children and have good families ( even if some on this post want to deny that fact) I applaud you and the fact you are raising 3 sons. Terrifc, I wish their were more like you. In fact, teir are. However, BET , as usual: focuses on the negaitve 97 times out of 100. Why: Because this stuff sells as you can see by all of the offhand remarks that people feel justifed in saying. The Bible says to look at yourself. Stop blaming the “Man” or the “woman” but look to within. I truly understand your point however we will never, ever be able to raise good families and get past our neurosis until we stop plaing the gender game with each other. Yes, we all know some bad brothers, plenty of them and always will be. But I also know some sisters who will have no mercy on a man, regardless of how ell he treats them. All of this gender bashing and blogging about men is straight from the pit. Unless and until we stop taking every relationship scenario and turing it into a Battle of the sexes we are all at a loss. and the main ones who lose are the children. Many men and women are going to lose their soul over blaming the other person. God is not going to ask anyone of us what the other perosn did. He is only going to ask “what did you do> Twisting the bible around to meet our own defintion isnt going to change that. Again, I am happy for you and all you do for your family so peace to you as well. However no one Man or Woman is to blame. There is enough blame to go around for a lot of people of both genders. “Sin IS Not A Gender Specific Disease”

    • You can look at it as “blaming” or you can look at it as a “discussion piece”. We need to not ignore the issues that plague our community. Are we to just look and read about our black men killing one another? Having babies and then leaving them and say nothing? Are we to watch our young ladies treat their bodies like trampolines? Not know their worth? I get where you are coming from but we need to talk about what we are doing in our community and why we are no better off now than we were 100 years ago.

  10. Black America web is like the estrogen network now. Both black Men and Women are behaving irresponsibly these days. However women must be careful who they lay down with because that is a decision entirely up to them and how the whole process starts in terms of baby making. There is no point in quoting the bible when its clear that none of the involved parties were living under divine law. What the Black community is experiencing is what happens when people take their eye off the ball and indulge in decadence. The Black community needs to start having serious conversations and put the video games down and turn the reality tv off.

    • “However women must be careful who they lay down with because that is a decision entirely up to them and how the whole process starts in terms of baby making.”

      Aaron it’s that mentally that will continue to spawn fatherless children. I have two young man and I let them know that they are responsible for their own future. If you don’t want to be a father PROTECT yourself. If you don’t want to protect yourself you are begging to be a father. I don’t know very many women that ask the man not to wear a condom but I know as a woman I’ve been ask on many occasions by irresponsible males to not use one and they were the ones that got NONE!!!!. Women if men can man up and take responsibility for their own actions I guess you will have to.

      • It is an absolute fact that women are responsible for their own bodies and choose their own mates discussion wont change those facts. When women require more from themselves they will require more from men.

  11. This is a prime example of what that green piece is capable of.The only time (black) woman act like they are not going to settle for certain things is when the other party does not have proper paper.Wake up sisters

  12. Hello ‘Timekepper’ I am a married father of 20 yrs, dad of 3 sons 26,22, and 7 years of age I have witnessed firsthand the relationship or lack of of sperm donor boys who impregnate the women and carelessly walk away like its No big Deal. ” The truth will set us Free. We as Men the real Men should not and I for one will not let this stereotype that so many of Us perpetuate continue on my watch. I am the exception. Only when We as Men that GOD has called Us to be will this Sad Saga end. We need to Stand Up as Men and accept Our unfortunate behavior and change it. Peace.

  13. Men & women in case like this are irresponsible. Protection should have been used. What’s now important is the care of the child, financially and emotionally.

  14. Genesis 3:12 And the man said, “The woman whom thou gavest to be with me, she gave me of the tree, and I did eat.” And this sad saga continues to this day. Iresponsiible Brothers/Men neglecting their GODley responsibilities and placing blame on the Women. There is always enough blame to go around, but I believe it starts with my Brothers. The only differance in these 2 cases is the 2 Brothers involved and their money. Peace.

  15. These are the very kinds of articles that hold black men and women back form each other. As you can see from the vantage point of who is respopnding to this artcile, it is not based on fairenss, or who is right or worng. It is simply based on gender and I am going to stick up for my girlfrined regardless of the matter. Men & Women both equally have issues from time to time, no doubt. However to blindly just men are irresponsible. Thinkning that way is what is Irresponsible.
    I will love it when the day comes ( and it appears to be a long way off) when men can be objective and call a brother out when he is out of line. And when women will stop closing ranks and do the same when they know a sister is out of line also.

  16. Mr. Cottman be fair and hold the men accountable, as well. I agree that Ms. Funches’ actions post-divorce have been a bit erratic and seemingly vindictive, however I get the place that she’s coming from. She is hurting and seeking justice but she is going about it the wrong way. She was not a gold-digging groupie. She was there for Mr. Wade prior to him becoming a superstar. Her family took him in back when his mother was too strung out on drugs to provide for him. She is also the mother of his children. But as soon as he gets to the point in life where he wants to be he up and cheats on her and then divorce’s her. That is devastating especially when you are the mother of his children and have been with him for as long as she had been. He treated her as if she was disposable which is the common pattern that I see with both of the examples you mentioned in this piece. Yet you fail to note how the men’s actions are wrong. Don’t try to use the guise of intellectualism to mask your sexism, sir. Hold the men accountable, too.

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