Last week our newest TJMS contributor Don Lemon, announced his new 30 day fitness plan. I know right, it’s always the thin ones. He bragged, I mean announced today, that’s he lost 11 pounds; his goal is 21 pounds in 21 days.
Well, I’m actually the master of losing weight. But like most people, I’m a failure at keeping it off.
Taking off 30 pounds is easy work. Maintaining that weight loss is damn near impossible.
I’ve tried everything- even marrying a fitness instructor.
Oh, it worked at first, you’ve seen the pictures. I would lose the weight and gain it back, lose the weight, gain it back. It’s almost like the words from that great lyricist DJ Casper: “reverse, reverse. reverse, reverse!”
And I’m tired of it.
So, in the words of that other great lyricist James Brown, “I’m ready to get up and do my thing!”
So, this time I’m not dieting and I’ m not doing all that exercising. No disrespect to Dr. Oz, Dr. Ro, my boxing trainer Stacy, or Donna. They’ve got a message and a method for keeping weight off…and it’s all good for somebody…just not for me.
So, here’s my plan:
1. I’m wearing nice suits every day in 2014. I’ve discovered that I don’t eat as often or as much when I’m wearing a nice suit. I think if you dress up in your nicest outfit it takes away your appetite.
2. I’m being realistic about my goals. I feel good at this weight. My weight isn’t ideal but it’s a weight I know I can maintain. And a nice suit will help me do it.
3. I only eat when I’m hungry…truly hungry. The nice clothes trick my mind. Face it, you’re not starving to death at noon. You had breakfast. You need to sit on your ass down and do whatever until that hunger wave passes. Drink some water.
The hardest part of my new plan is that it will restrict my hug game. If you know me at all, you know I like nice tight hugs, where she lays her head on my shoulder. Well, I wore a nice suit over the weekend and when I got home, it was full of make up stains. I have to face it, I’m just going to be too clean to hug.
All of this was inspired by one of my role models, Rev. Al. I can’t copy his hair but I’ve got him on his suits. I don’t have enough suits to wear every day like Dr. Al does, but I will by the New Year…and no, they’re not on layaway!
My other option would be to work for UPS. Hopping on and off of that truck is a great way to take the weight off. But I’m the Fly Jock. I deliver hits not packages. And now I’m going to deliver in a nice suit.
Wearing a nice suit will keep me fit and for the days I get tempted, like Thanksgiving, I’ll wear a tuxedo all day and all night.
So, are you with me? I think I’m on to something. And even if I don’t lose as much weight as Don Lemon, I’ll look damn good trying.