Single women: Would you date a man who is absolutely committed to celibacy?
No sex until marriage. Not even once. And it’s not negotiable.
Kenny Pugh, author, financial professional, motivational speaker, is taking an unconventional approach to life as a black man in 2013: Sexual abstinence.
At 38 years old, Pugh is black, male and heterosexual, and hasn’t had sex in more than seven years. And he doesn’t plan to be sexually intimate with a woman until he gets married.
“I’ve been celibate for seven years and I’m an advocate for a lifestyle that empowers people to make good decisions about relationships moving forward,” Pugh said in a recent interview with BlackAmericaWeb.com.
It’s an old-school philosophy in a new-age era because sex, Pugh says, clouds good judgment. But some women aren’t down for celibacy, Pugh said, and some openly question if he’s really heterosexual.
Pugh, a contributing writer with Black Enterprise magazine, is promoting his new book: “Can You Do It Standing Up: A Different Position On Relationships.”
The book, Pugh said, challenges readers to abstain from sex and focus of building substantial relationships that are deeper, more spiritual, and ultimately more rewarding. Pugh said we all live in a sexually-driven society and his new book offers an alternative.
“Can we communicate standing up? Can we pray standing up? Can you support me standing up? Can we have an effective relationship standing up?” Pugh asked.
How many straight brothers would actually voluntarily give up sex for seven years? It would probably be a very short list.
“Sex doesn’t mean commitment,” Pugh said. “It may be a fun time but it does not mean commitment. We have to realize there is a communication gap between men and women and we have to work on ourselves.”
Pugh is challenging single people to work on their spiritual and financial lives, pursue their dreams, and plan a productive life without sex.
So why is Pugh living a life of sexual abstinence?
Because after reflecting on his previous relationships with women over the years, women he hurt, women he wasn’t honest with, Pugh said he decided to live a more truthful life.
“I thought that if it was my sister, would I want her to have the same experiences and the answer was no,” Pugh said. “If my intentions are not serious, then I need to show some restraint in my life and not be distracted by sex.”
Pugh admits that his deliberate lifestyle of sexual abstinence is confounding because not all women want to date a man who is celibate.
Some women, Pugh said, even wonder if he’s gay.
“This journey is challenging,” Pugh said. “I have to deal with rejection because I won’t have sex with them. Some women have told me they can’t operate like this and we’ve gone our separate ways.”
But sex before marriage, Pugh says, “has created a cycle of failed relationships.”
Meanwhile, Pugh says the response to his new book has been “overwhelmingly positive” because he believes that people generally want to do the right thing.
“I realize that everyone will not align themselves with my way of thinking, but I’m just putting the message out there,” he said.
So single women: How important is sex in your relationships? And single men: Would you adopt Pugh’s philosophy and abstain from sex until marriage?
For more information about Kenny Pugh, visit his website: www.kennypugh.com.
Also On Black America Web:
This Week’s Celebrity Instagrams (11/26-12/2)
30 photos Launch gallery
1. Little Legend and Puddy 😍😍😍😍
1 of 30
2. "You on point Phife?" "all the time,Tip". 💥 #bannedfromnormal
2 of 30
3. Vegan! The Impossible burger at Crossroads
3 of 30
4. Lawrence #BeforeandAfterEpisodes 1-4: 184lbs 13% body fatEpisode 8: 196lbs 8% body fat S/O @coachdaveboxing with the works outs and @kildareriordan with the nutrition
4 of 30
5. Jus haaaanngin out
5 of 30
6. Meanwhile back at home in Atlanta GA someone mad they not on the 🛳. 😳
6 of 30
7. No limits... Photo cred: Chris Bridges @ludacris
7 of 30
8. new new
8 of 30
9. Apparently my 260lbs is too much for the actual vines in the Hawaiian jungles to hold me without breaking and me falling hundreds of feet. So for safety purposes, I'm forced to swing thru #Jumanjj on wires strong enough to hold 12 adult buffaloes and 1 adult Rock. #OnSet #Jumanji #IronicallyIEatBuffaloDailyForLunch #MoreManThanNatureKnowsWhatToDoWith
9 of 30
10. hey ma! 🎎#wcw 💙
10 of 30
11. Surprise visit to our factories!!! #GoodAmerican #USA
11 of 30
12 of 30
13. Peachy Keen 🔥✨⚡️
13 of 30
14. If this don't look thankful I don't know what does. Happy Thanksgiving to you and yours. #UltraBlessed #24kMagic #SweetPotatoFly
14 of 30
15. Late nights @nbcmarlon with the writers... we in here!!!
15 of 30
16. There goes my baaaaaaaaabbbbyyyyy #QueenKingMagic!!! We're up to something! Ira BIG!!! Stay out our buisness -
16 of 30
17. You want to win every game you play but when you come home to these faces... who cares. #ILoveYouGirls best part of my day, everyday!
17 of 30
18. Steady,steady..... full size jenga.. "I got this one "???? Or do I ?
18 of 30
19. Cornrows kind of day 😉@dontaysavoy2 you convinced me and I love. ❤️️
19 of 30
20. #BrotherlyLove #tbt
20 of 30
21 of 30
22. #basel #TeamLOVE @kingcombs
22 of 30
23. Just introduced a special screening of @directher 's groundbreaking (must see) documentary @13thfilm with my brother @themichaelealy | @unitedblackout #blackoutblackfriday
23 of 30
24. Me & Vanessa Williams giving #DuckLips #Pose on the set of #DaytimeDivas @vh1 - Coming Soon to a tv near you. Lol. - My make up done by @makeupsurgeon
24 of 30
25. This picture just makes me wanna praise the Lord, you hear me!!!!!! Yes Lord brotha #TEDDYCAMPBELL What a #man !!! You are everything right on this picture husband ......... #gorgeous #stylish #classy #strong #masculine #king #sexy #debonair #gentlemenstyle And that #bible in your hand just seals the deal for me (probably cause i know that, that is what helped you become just as amazing as you look😘). While my heart and mind experiences the goodness of God at #church on Sundays, my eyes experiences the goodness of Teddy😍. Amen somebody🙌🏽. "Bless the Lord oh my soul and all that is within me bless his holy name" #myman #myhusband #goodman #blackman #dapperman #godlyman #goodfather #mybestfriend
25 of 30
26. Yesterday was my mama's 53rd birthday!!!!! Got to celebrate with her all day. If this is what I have to look forward to I can't wait. Looking like a soft bucket a cocoa butter. Yaaaaaaaaaas! 😍😍😍 love you mommy!
26 of 30
27. "Shout out to @PureAtlanta for getting the family right"....I'm loving this jogger. 😍😍
27 of 30
28. This pic warms my heart ❤️ #myLogiebeans and aunt aunt umba @itowandabraxton 😘
28 of 30
29. You will always be my baby😜. #HappyBirthdayReginae #mybaby18
29 of 30
30. GC "Gods Child" Red on Red SweatSuit available now at www.MonicaApparel.com ... Take Your Crown wherever you go!! I'm pictured in a Medium... Go to the site now for other options ... cc: @trukernell
30 of 30