I’m going to ask a question that, after reading some recent headlines on the controversial, on-again couple, Chris Brown and Rihanna, has been on my mind.
You know, it was Tina Turner who first asked it when she musically wondered, “What’s love got to do with it…?”
And some are still wondering, especially since Rihanna escorted Brown to a court hearing where he was charged for failing to complete his community service for abusing Rihanna 4 years ago.
Now, I’m not saying Rihanna and Chris don’t love each other. In fact, they very well may. Still, my question remains: What does love really have to do with it?
Let me explain where I’m going with this. We often convince ourselves that relationships are all about love. And, on Valentine’s Day, we celebrate this type of romantic love.
However, if successful relationships were based only on romantic love, divorce rates would certainly not be as high as they are, right? In fact, a lot of divorced couples dislike each other and yet say they still love each other.
The point is there are a bunch of other very important factors in a relationship that determine its health and success; the emotional health of each partner, trust, respect, compatibility, to name a few.
And it’s often these other key aspects of a relationship that allow romantic love to flourish.
Yes, Rihanna and Chris likely do love each other, but given their checkered history together—and the fact they are living out their flaws and mistakes on a world stage—I sincerely hope they recognize the importance of these other aspects.
And while they have every right to want to move on and leave their past behind, without a healthy acknowledgement of their individual emotional wellness, trust and respect, in particular—their renewed relationship is not likely to survive, and worse, they might be doomed to repeat the ugly scenario of four years ago.
So on this Valentine’s Day, I’m not hating on Rihanna and Chris 2.0 at all, as many in the media are. Rather, I am sending them—and, for that matter, everyone out there in a relationship—love and hope, and the reminder that romantic love has to be fed and nurtured with these other important aspects.
Ask anyone who’s been married for years and they’ll probably tell you that romantic love often needs help and this is not a bad thing, because it’s all about working at and celebrating a relationship so it can truly grow.
I’ll close with these words from George Jean Nathan that speak to the importance of healthy loving relationships:
“Love is an emotion experienced by the many but enjoyed by the few.”
Also On Black America Web:
This Week’s Celebrity Instagrams (10/7-10/14)
25 photos Launch gallery
1. Nite | to the tune of @cnn 😞
1 of 25
2. Got so much work to do but I just wanna stay in bed and binge watch #Gameofthrones and start the new season of #OnceUponATime. I know I can't be the only one. Right? Ha 💤🦁🍂 #saturday
2 of 25
3. Mommy's weekend turn up ❤️👶🏾💕🍼 Wouldn't trade it for nothing. #TeamNoSleep lol #HesMyBiggestBlessing ✨
3 of 25
4. One of them oh shit mont we made it feelings … this shit still be unreal 💯💪🏾 @remyboymonty1738
4 of 25
5. Tickets Available October 14 @ticketmaster.
5 of 25
6. People magazine Home edition has raided my house! Get a sneak peek into the bedroom life of the Leakes and see other parts of my home now at PEOPLE.COM
6 of 25
7. They want to kick you when you down, but kick it when you up
7 of 25
8. Got my advance copy of #Mafia3 at @gamestop. Get yours via link in the bio #Mafia3 #Ad
8 of 25
9. This is some of the cast and our diverse team of writers in the writer's room creating funny sh*t for @nbcmarlon what a fun room! Lots of jokes, great stories and having a great time doing what we love... making people laugh and feel something. Look out for our show next year @nbcmarlon we bringing sitcoms back to NBC
9 of 25
10. #HappySunday☀️Thank you @4everbrandy101 💛💡💛
10 of 25
11. Happy to be back in Central Falls, RI breaking ground for the One Stop Health Center and hosting a local community event with #Vaseline.
11 of 25
12. Thank you all in advance 💋💋💋 #Repost @urbansvintage・・・#TarajiPHenson's memoir #AroundTheWayGirl will be available everywhere TODAY October 11th! Will you be purchasing a copy? #UrbansVintage
12 of 25
13. Moms got my back
13 of 25
14. @galore dinner party glo ✨ thanks to @styledbygiigii
14 of 25
15. 🌹#ThisIsWhatTheTruthFeelsLikeTOUR #forevereve
15 of 25
16. Yes, all those videos I've been posting have led to this: the introduction of skincare to @TYRABeauty! This is the rundown on the new line:Years of research and beauty tips I live by led me to produce the most effective and delightful skincare out there. I'm all about taking really good care of my skin, so I can look like I'm aging in #TyraYears and go filter free on Instagram when I feel like it! Now, it's your turn. ✨My Mama always told me not to wash my face with just my hands. "Tyra, girl, you're just moving the dirt around!" And I've listened. First up is The Clean Machine.... ...a 3-in-1 foaming face wash that cleanses, removes makeup and purified your skin. It has patented technology - a attached Turbo Cleansing Tool - to give you that deep clean that makes your skin feel super fresh. Wanna know more? Yeah, baby. Click that link in my bio.
16 of 25
17. On set of #beingmaryjane like... ❤️😬💃🏾
17 of 25
18. #carouselofhope@yvetteshelton100@makeupbylatrice @thestacetheface@marialuciahohan24
18 of 25
19. I refuse to let a little cold stop me from my daily routines to greatness. #onlythestrongsurvive #warriors
19 of 25
20. Big things begin with big THINKING... #BusinessEthics #SetLife 🎥
20 of 25
21. Goodnight - here's a song
21 of 25
22. Words can't explain the feeling that I have right now.....God is good. look momma I made it. #Harts #Blessed #WhatNow #comedicrockstarshit #4DaysAway
22 of 25
23. I tried to get a better video with out the nasty bib but she started getting mad at me..lol! Big cuz @the_queen_caitlin trying to show her what to do. #MamasToots #HeirBear👑💜
23 of 25
24. Gorgeous Serena joined Beyoncé in Formation last night on stage in New Jersey!!!
24 of 25
25. 😜 @lifeofdesiigner & @rockohill
25 of 25