Just in time for Valentine’s Day, there is a wealth of new relationship books on the market written by some popular celebrities. The latest is R&B crooner Keith Sweat, who has probably helped out many a relationship through his sultry love songs as well as on his nationally syndicated radio show “The Sweat Hotel.” His new book, “Make It Last Forever: The Dos and Don’ts,” named after one of his most popular songs, is out now. Surprisingly, as Sweat himself remains single after a failed marriage to former “Real Housewives of Atlanta” star Lisa Wu, his book offers some interesting insights to men and women struggling to start or stay in a relationship. We caught up to him in L.A., where he’s currently touring with Charlie Wilson.
BlackAmericaWeb: The relationship book market is getting crowded. What new insights did you think you could bring to the table?
Keith Sweat: I just felt like because I wrote a lot of love songs and I have a syndicated radio show where people call in for apologies and confessions, I guess the next step would be to write a book. A lot of people have problems in their relationships. The number one reason they call me is because so many people have grown up listening to my music. Since I’ve written all these songs, they seek me out as an expert on the situation.
What is the most common relationship problem that people call in about?
The cheating thing is still high and I find after that that, it’s the communication. A lot of people lack the ability to communicate in their relationships. That’s a big one along with the cheating. A lot of women feel like the man doesn’t give her the time or the attention that he used to give her. Men don’t want to feel like they’re punks a lot of the time, even though they might be going through the same scenarios women are. Women are more emotional creatures, as you very well know. It’s easier for them to express what they feel than it is for a man. Men feel like they are weak if they do that. I wouldn’t say that. I think it makes him a stronger man. He’s more confident in himself if he’s able to show his more sensitive side.
There is one thing every relationship book written by men has in common –the importance of sex. Why is that such a big deal?
That’s the way it has been since the beginning of time. When you see something beautiful or attractive that stimulates you, sex takes it to the next level. That’s what takes it from friendship to intimacy. I’m sharing with this young lady and she’s sharing it with me and nobody is allowed to infiltrate this situation. Making love is very important in the relationship. You always have to keep that flame burning. It’s very important for two partners to tell each other how to please each other. If a woman is not satisfied by her man or a man is not satisfied by his woman, they are going to seek that satisfaction elsewhere.
What are some other important “do’s” in a successful relationship?
The way you start a relationship is the way you should continue the relationship. Once you get it or have conquered it, you slack up on it, but once you start something you have to complete it. And talk to me, not at me. Learn how to talk to your man.
What is the biggest relationship “don’t”?
Taking each other for granted. I think a lot of people take their mate for granted and get complacent thinking you don’t have to do the things that you used to do. That’s major mistake. Never take the relationship for granted. When you start slacking, someone else steps up.