Is Hurt the New Love?

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  • So, the Kanye West-Kim Kardashian media machine continues to pump out news and controversy.
         
    And knowing this—that it is a well-oiled media engine designed to provoke attention and mass reaction—it bothers me that I’m forced to take the bait and talk about the controversial couple when I probably should be  talking about something a bit more substantial.
         
    But with Kanye’s latest musical release, “My Perfect B- – – -” (and no, I’m not going to spell out the actual title for you), and Kardashian’s reported flattery over the project which Kanye originally said was written for her, I feel compelled to speak out on this nonsense.
         
    The unpredictable Kanye has made a career off of talent, music and controversy, and the more predictable Kardashian has made a career off of… off of…  …???
         
    Anyway, the two are certainly no strangers to controversy and to benefitting from the controversies they often initiate.
         
    A recent article in The Root by Danielle Moodie-Mills talked about the attention-seeking couple raising the question: “Is misogyny–or woman hating– the new "I love you?”
         
    The piece referred to the Rihanna and Chris Brown saga; the associated stream of tweets from young girls saying they would have "let Chris beat" them; reality shows like "The Bachelor", where women degrade themselves and each other competing for one man; and the song Kanye wrote for Kardashian, as being examples of a changing “social consciousness on a national scale” where it’s now “acceptable for love to hurt…”
         
    Is this really where we are? Is it now en vogue to teach our daughters that their goal in life is to become the “perfect b….?”

    The article goes on to wonder if we can ever reclaim the “type of love where your partner's sweet whispers don't rhyme with the word "itch," and making a sex tape isn't synonymous with sending a Hallmark card.”
         
    I'm not gonna even begin to suggest what the name of that holiday would be.
         
    The point is no matter how much media in general has tried to mainstream the process of degrading women, and no matter how many misled women have sadly bought into this, we have to keep challenging those who call us out of our names and those who profit from it.
         
    Because if we get tired and stop doing this, our silence becomes acceptance. Instead of further feeding these media engines that profit from our reactions, let’s stop buying and supporting the artists and companies engaged in this female-hatin’ behavior.
         
    No one can make us hate ourselves unless we buy into the process. No one can make us into the “Perfect B” if we refuse to see ourselves that way. Text us here at 64-64-64 to let me know how you feel.
         
    Let’s insist on a higher standard for ourselves.
         
    I leave you with the dignified –and dignifying–words of Maya Angelou:

    When you see me passing
    It ought to make you proud.
    I say, it's in the click of my heels,
    The bend of my hair,
    the palm of my hand,
    The need of my care,
    'Cause I'm a woman
    Phenomenally.
    Phenomenal woman,
    That's me.

    Until next time, this is Stephanie in love and hope.

     

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